xx. I WRITE MY LOVE LETTERS [...]
written: july 15 two thousand 16
posted: august 4 two thousand 16
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i write my love letters in blood. i write the words i love you over and over again. i confess my feelings the way my grandparents serve dinner - proudly and on a silver platter. the pages are now tainted with the red liquid and i scream and scream and i scream WHY WON'T YOU TAKE ME and he looks at me and says simply I NEVER LOVED YOU and in that moment you sink to your knees and begin to sob, though you haven't even moved. i've bled out one too many times.
i write my love letters in tears. it's like writing at the bottom of the ocean where no one can tell if you are crying, and no one can tell why. it reminds me of seeing my mother cry for the first time and i immediately no longer want to write. i put the pen down and i sigh HE DOESN'T WANT ME. what's the point?
i rarely ever write my love letters without using a piece of me. i will give you a piece of me in exchange for your heart. he says JUST GIVE ME IT and i smile a sad smile and whisper i've locked it up for good and i've thrown away the key he looks at me funny and i know he doesn't understand. the heart breaker will never understand what it's like to be the broken hearted. i would love to smash his heart but i'm much too weak now.
so i write my love letters with any materials i have at hand. i wonder if anyone will read them. maybe they'll read it and then say I'LL WRITE BACK TOMORROW but they forget about me like i am the coffee they made and left on the counter. maybe they'll read it and then rip it to pieces. YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO TELL ME THESE THINGS but i'm sorry i was much too full to be holding such things inside. maybe they'll get a kick out of them and will show all their friends and say HA, I FOOLED HER DIDN'T I? and they will all laugh and they will agree.
but i don't know if i will ever completely stop writing my love letters. no matter what they say, i will always love and i will always write. that is something i cannot be sorry for.
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YOU ARE READING
celestial
Poesía"positioned in or relating to the sky, or outer space" because everyone I love, loved, and will ever love does, has, and will fascinate me much like the stars in the sky do.
