tears - phan AU❁ (EDITING)

0.5

you make my heart shake,
bend and break,
but i can't turn away,
and it's driving me wild,
you're driving me wild.
-"WILD" troye sivan.

•-•

phil lester was not taking no for an answer.

when he'd only gotten silence in return after his request to come in, he'd only rolled his eyes and knocked again.

"yoo hoo." phil called out sarcastically. he'd just wanted to help. why wouldn't this dan guy let him help?

he heard sniffles coming from inside of the stall. "i- i don't want anyone to see me.." dan replied, face still buried in his hands, slightly muffling his words.

phil went soft again. "hey, its okay. you're alright. i won't judge or pressure you into anything, okay? i just want to help. dont be embarrassed, everyone cries."

he'd heard the boy in the stall choke back on tears again before replying

"no, that's exactly it."

"what do you mean that's-" phil stopped talking when he realized.

"oh."

he heard a sigh from inside of the stall, then dans bitter voice say,

"how do i know you're not just sitting out there with a camera, ready to record this?"

phil shrugged, even though dan couldn't yet see him. "you'll have to just trust me, i guess."

silence.

phil nodded to himself, turning to leave. give him some time alone.

but then he heard small, hesitant footsteps coming near the restroom stall door.

he heard the lock slide out of place, and then the small, shy face of dan howell peeked out. phil smiled at him warmly.

dan gave him another suspicious look, before opening the door a bit more.

"why do you want in again?" dan questioned, shyly.

"i just wanna help, that's all." phil replied with a shrug. "t'sall part of my nature. if someone isn't doing very well, i try lifting their spirits. its a nice feeling to make a person happy."

dan stayed silent, staring at phil for a few more moments, before opening up the stall door.

phil walked in and watched as dan slid the lock back into place, and then sat back up against the wall again. without any hesitation, phil sat down next to him.

they sat in silence for a few moments, before phil whispered,

"it's okay to start letting out your emotions a bit, dan. just because im in here doesn't mean you have to stop."

and from phil, that was all dan needed before bursting into tears, trying to cover his entire face with his hands so phil wouldn't see the tears that rolled down his cheeks.

but phil knew. little did dan know, though, phil wasn't freaked out or disgusted by him at all. actually, he was fascinated. black tears and an always overly sad mood were very rare, not many people had the color at all.

so phil decided to do what he thought was the best choice he could've made at that moment.

ever so gently, he'd taken dans hands off of his face, then took dans chin and brought it up to have him look right at phil.

dans face had smudges of black all over, and dans eyes seemed almost empty, and lifeless. dry, no more tears left to cry.

"don't be scared of me, dan." phil whispered, letting dans chin go. "never be scared of me. i am not and will never be like anyone else here, i promise."

dan only nodded, avoiding eye contact with phil before asking;

"why are you doing this?"

phil tilted his head at him, lost in thought for a moment.

"i believe everyone has a demon. everyone has a demon that needs to be chased away. some people are able to do it easily, and it's just gone. and then they'll just go on with their lives happily. but others.." phil trailed off for a moment, re-locking eye contact with dan again.

"others need help learning how to escape."

dan slightly raised an eyebrow at phil. "so, you're saying you want to help me with this? you're actually volunteering to deal with me?" he'd questioned, motioning to himself.

phil nodded surely. "exactly, dan. im here to help you."

dan then shook his head. "you-you don't wanna do that. i'm too much.." he sighed, his body physically slumping along with it. "and it's not like you're going to just stop me from being like this. its impossible."

phil found himself slowly starting to grin at the boy beside him.

"looks like we're gonna make the impossible, possible, won't we?"

•-•
A/N:
This chapter is such shit this story is such shit I'm sorry I'm so so sorry ew

^ lmao i wrote that authors note over a year ago now and i STILL agree