tears - phan AU❁ (EDITING)

2.4

i said
"i love you like the stars above,
i love you till i die."
- 'romeo and juliet' the killers
•-•

"i have black tears."

you could practically feel the shift and change of the mood when the words left dan's mouth. some eyes widened, others turned and whispered.

dan cleared his throat anxiously. "w-with this, it makes me introverted and closed-off. it- it gives me mood swings, most of them in which i cry over s-stupid things, like dropping a spoon." dan felt slightly relieved when a small chuckle traveled through the room.

"w-with black tears, it really is quite the struggle. it makes me sad and panicked, which doesn't help me in any situation. i- i'm never able to take stress well a-and i don't do good in crowds. for example, this project. m- my mom walked into my room last night at three in the morning to me hunched over my desk trying to perfect this." dan chuckled nervously.

"black tears prevents me from doing a lot of things, w-which really sucks. i have unintentional trust issues, lack of confidence, and sometimes-" dan paused. "b-bad thoughts and tendencies."

the class seemed to understand enough.

"the- the thing is, having these tears doesn't make me just like that though. it g-gives me some red tears traits as well. w-when i'm with someone i trust and am comfortable w-with.. well, i'm a sarcastic asshole." dan laughed lightly before realizing completely what he said. he felt himself paling.

that was not part of the script. i was not supposed to say that. oh god- i called myself an asshole? mr. mcloughlin's gonna kill me.

but, to everyone's surprise, their teacher laughed. he kept the smile on his face, gesturing for dan to go on.

dan's eyes widened slightly, but he shook it off and continued. "it- it also makes me fragile, i guess. i don't do too well with people yelling or pressuring me too much, b- but it's also kinda good for me to be considered fragile. it- it makes me appreciate the little things around me more and shows people i'm not just some quiet nobody."

dan couldn't believe it, but everyone looked genuinely interested in what he was saying. dan felt a new spike of confidence, and couldn't help but smile when he saw phil grinning at him.

"having black tears- it also teaches you a lot of things, too. a skill you develop with them? you can easily tell whenever somebody is upset- or having a bad day, and try to make them f-feel better. you can tell them what every single other person in the world has said to encourage you, and you actually feel decently g-good about yourself when they thank you for it later.

it- it's like.. you've been given so many pep talks throughout your life, you know just what to say. this makes you good at advice, and you actually- you actually have people becoming happier because of you. it just- it gives you a good feeling of importance. and with a personality like this? importance is.. well? important." dan glanced at mr. mcloughlin, seeing him jotting something down on his notepad.

"black tears- i guess they really aren't as bad as anyone would expect them to be. a-all you have to do is show kindness to someone who has them and-" dan turned his head, so he could meet eyes with phil. "and we really won't be that bad anymore."