tears - phan AU❁ (EDITING)

2.3

i swear i'd burn the city down
to show you the lights.
~"sophomore slump or comeback of the year" fall out boy
•-•

"what if i mess up more than once?"

"that'll be okay. everyone messes up."

"what if i completely fail though? what if i have a stroke halfway through the presentation? will i even make it halfway..? what if-"

phil rolled his eyes, taking one of his hands off of the steering wheel in his car to cover dan's mouth with it. "love, it'll be fine. you just really need to calm down."

dan smacked his hand away, huffing and crossing his arms. "there's just- so many ways this can go wrong. it's terrifying."

phil nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. "i understand. you're confirming and speaking about a more sensitive subject, you're going out of your comfort zone. it makes sense. but really, everything would go so much smoother if you'd just relax, honestly."

dan sighed loudly, leaning his head back into the seat and nodding in defeat. "i know. i guess i can try."

phil smiled, reaching over to poke dan's cheek before retracting his hand and paying attention to the road again.

"what the hell was that for?" dan asked, raising an eyebrow at the sudden action.

the smile didn't leave phil's face. "you're just cute and squishy. i couldn't help myself."

"i'm squishy?"

phil laughed at dan's tone of voice. "it probably sounds stupid, but yeah. you're an adorable squish."

dan rolled his eyes, looking out of the window as phil pulled in to the parking lot of their high school. "you're so weird, seriously."

phil's smile only seemed to grow wider, just before leaving over and kissing dan on the cheek. "thank you."

•-•

"i don't wanna be here."

phil chuckled, squeezing dan's hand. "it'll be alright. i'll cheer you on."

"oh god- don't do that."

the two boys were currently standing outside of mr. mcloughlin's classroom, hand in hand. phil was lightly urging dan in, tugging him along.

dan seemed to move slower with each step. every time he put one foot in front of the other, his stomach seemed to twist in thousands of little knots.

when phil managed to drag dan in and sit him down, the class bell rang, signaling that anybody who has not made it to their seat was now late.

"well! today is the day." mr. mcloughlin smiled, seeming even more ecstatic than usual. dan wished he could feel the same way about all of this.

"now- we have plenty of students and not enough time. so who's first?"

one by one students went up, most just spouting the same things for their tears. how it was a 'honoring experience' to have that certain color, how thankful they were and why, and how they were still unique, despite others having the same colour.

as dan sat there, seemingly bored, he couldn't help but be rather frustrated at his fellow classmates. here they all were, ranting about their tears and personality, having others exactly like them. but yet, they still claimed to be original, to be different from people with the same tear colour.

sure, maybe some had different hobbies, but dan wasn't thinking about that. these people around him were stating complete bullshit.

in the world we live in, it almost seems as if there is no such thing as originality. dan thought, sighing inwardly. everyone is given a personality to focus on, a constant mood. nobody can properly feel what they want to feel. there is no freedom. there is no difference.

as dan pondered, he almost didn't realize it was phil's turn. to be honest, the only reason his attention was caught was because phil had taken a deep breath and shouted out an ecstatic 'hello!' to the class. everyone jumped from the sudden enthusiastic mood that filled every corner of the room.

"my name is phil lester, and i have orange tears!" his grin was gumdrops. his eyes were crystals. everything was so sickeningly sweet and over enunciated, you would just call him a bad actor.

but that's the thing. in this world, 'bad actors' aren't even supposed to exist. we're all painfully good at the roles we're given. but we still wish not to be.

but here you have it. phil lester.

this worlds first bad actor.

phil rambled on, feeding the same cliché, overrated words any other person who actually had orange tears had said. dan smirked to himself.

if only these guys knew.

before anyone knew it, phil was finished and beaming, and dan was up next and horrified. he shuffled up to the front of the room, looking up timidly and clearing his throat.

the class stared back at him. some expressions were nonchalant, others even bored. but, much to dan's discomfort, most had perked up with interest. they were about to figure out if black tears actually existed or not, and if dan actually had them.

dan gulped, eyes darting from face to face in an attempt to stall.

but then, his eyes met phil's. they were no longer disgustingly sweet. they were comforting. encouraging. human.

and that's what made dan shift from his right foot to his left, and what made him speak up. he breathed in.

"h-hello. my name is dan howell a-and.."

he breathed out.

"i have black tears."

•-•
A/N:
im literally writing this on my brothers computer locked in a closet.

im not supposed to be on any electronics :,) so im sorry that i won't be answering to any messages on kik or anything, it's only been about a day and i miss everyone agH.

hopefully i'll see you sk8ers l8er.

~*pretend this is the crescent moon emoji once again im literally on a god damn computer (i just want my phone baCK)*

//not edited ahahahahdhck//