tears - phan AU❁ (EDITING)

2.2

when the world gets too heavy,
put it on my back
i'll be your levy.
you are taking me apart like bad glue
on a get well card.
~ "always." panic! at the disco.
•-•

it was the night before the presentation.

to say dan howell was nervous was an understatement. he was jittery, panicked, and worrying. he was biting and chewing at his lip, even drawing a little blood from it. he paced around his room, tugging at his hair and thinking of every single possible way of it all going wrong.

it was almost as if he was permanently on the verge of a panic attack, eyes widened and breathing heavy.

he jumped in surprise when his phone started ringing, muse filling the room.

dan walked over, picking up the phone and looking at the caller ID. it was phil. he pressed accept call, exasperatedly holding it up to his ear and answering.

"what is it? i'm trying to sleep."

"we both know that's complete bull, dan. i can literally hear the stress in your voice."

dan scoffed into the phone. "well- duh i'm stressed. this counts as a big grade in the books, you dork." 

"as i'm just so elated to learn that you're really caring for your grades, dan, i'm pretty positive that isn't the reason you're flipping out." phil replied. dan could practically hear the the small smile playing on his lips.

"i'm not flipping out!" dan snapped, running a hand through his hair absentmindedly.

phil laughed. "be ready in five minutes, i'm picking you up."

"like hell you are. i've really gotta get a good nights sleep for this."

"you're right, you do. but you sure won't be falling asleep anytime soon, dan. it's obvious."

dan sighed. "alright, whatever. i'll be ready."

"great! see you soon, sweetie."

"don't call me sweetie."

"alright, love."

before dan could protest at the other cheesy pet name, phil had hung up, leaving him back to being alone in his thoughts. he rolled his eyes to himself, digging around his closet looking for his favorite black sweatshirt.

"where the hell is it.." he mumbled to himself, pushing different articles of clothing all over, still failing to find the sweatshirt. he huffed in annoyance, eyes skimming around his closet for something else that would keep him comfortable.

then his eyes landed on the pastel blue sweater he hadn't touched in awhile.

why the hell not?

he threw it on, ruffling his hair and examining himself in the mirror. the sweater was a little too big, giving dan sweater paws. the outfit actually went together pretty well, his plain black skinny jeans suiting the pastel blue color.

dan was surprised. he really liked how he looked in it. maybe he should dress like this a little more.

he then got a text from phil, telling him he was waiting outside. dan tip-toed out the door, quietly slipping on his converse and leaving the house.

he slid in the passengers seat of phil's car, giving his boyfriend a small smile in greeting. phil's mouth was dropped open in a small 'o' when he saw dan.

dan furrowed his eyebrows. "what?"

"it's nothing.. you just.." phil trailed off, continuing to stare at him. his face then broke out into a grin. "you look lovely."

dan blushed lightly. "thanks."

phil pulled out of the driveway and started heading down the street, towards his house. "ready for another night on the roof?"

"hell yeah." dan replied. "it's another pretty night, it'll be nice."

"anything to get your mind off the presentation, right?" phil said, turning a corner.

"yeah. that'd be great."

they drove the rest of the way in comfortable silence.

•-•

when they got to phil's, neither of them dawdled. phil took his hand as they ran up to the attic, both climbing out of the window and up to the roof.

and here they were, sprawled out, hands still intertwined. the stars twinkled and the crescent moon glowed, almost as if it was brighter than the sun.

phil broke the silence. "you're aware i'll always be here for you, right?"

dan raised his eyebrow at the sudden question. "well- sure. i know."

"i never want to leave you."

"that's good."

"i want to say i love you, but i feel like it's too early."

"well, then say you like me."

"okay. i like you."

"i like you too."

"i'm in like."

dan laughed lightly, turning to lay on his side so he could look at phil. "why do you like me?"

phil turned to lay on his side as well, making eye contact with the boy next to him. "there's plenty of reasons. your sarcastic nature, how cute you are when you're frustrated. i think the first thing that made me attracted to you was how unimpressed you always were with me." phil laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

dan giggled, shaking his head slightly. he scooted closer to phil so there was little space between them, burying his face in the crook of his neck. "do you realize how much you've changed me?"

phil kissed the top of his head lovingly. "i do, actually. i hope you think it's a good thing."

dan smiled into his neck. "it is. it is a good thing."

phil grinned to himself, looking back up at the stars above them. they were back to their state of comfortable silence, enjoying each other's presence.

it wasn't long before dan's breathing became steady and rhythmic, indicating that he had fallen asleep. phil chuckled.

"dan howell.." he murmured, closing his eyes. "i like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it."

and that's how two boys fell asleep on a roof, wrapped in each other's arms, just below the stars.

•-•
A/N:
lmao a 1975 reference while i put a panic! song for the chapter. #edgy™

qotd: opinions on 90s leonardo dicaprio?? (don't ask.)

aotd: daddY fuCK ME uP okay thanks.

~🌙

//not edited woo//