tears - phan AU❁ (EDITING)

1.8

teddy bear,
you are my teddy bear.
you were comforting and quiet,
how did love become so violent?
~ 'teddy bear' melanie martinez
•-•

dan didn't go to school the rest of the week.

he wouldn't answer texts, and wouldn't pick up calls. dan was overwhelmed, shocked, and confused. he was hurt, too.

he cared about phil, he trusted him. hell, dan even kissed him. but here he was now, moping around and avoiding him. maybe it was because of the amount of secrecy. what phil was hiding was rather big, and he lied though his teeth about it several times to dan before.

dan couldn't seem to wrap his head around it at all.

clear tears? dan thought, anxiously tugging at his hair. what the hell does that even mean?

dan racked his brain, thinking of every single lesson he's ever had about tears and their colors in his life. he couldn't remember a thing about tears being clear.

dan sighed and rubbed his eyes. he hadn't gotten much sleep with all that was on his mind. he needed to clear his head.

so he went out for a walk.

•-•

phil went to school every day for the rest of the week, looking for dan everywhere. he would blow up dan's phone, texting countless amounts of apologies and leaving voicemail after voicemail.

he knew why dan was being like this. if the tables were turned, phil knew he would probably be doing this too. but they weren't, and phil was now seen as the antagonist, the one who caused the trouble.

now, as for the clear tears, phil could explain.

with his translucent tears, phil lester had complete control over his emotions.

he did not have a main mood. he did not have certain reactions to things depending on his soul. he was completely and utterly human, choosing how he felt in all situations.

now as for the crying state dan found him in, that was a completely different story.

you know that feeling you get, when it seems that your world, your everything is crumbling beneath your feet? everything is floating just above your reach, and nothing seems to ever want to go right? the feeling that makes you just want to drop to your knees and cover your ears, and stay in that position for a few days?

the feeling that makes you just want to disappear for awhile?

well, that's what phil was experiencing. he was having the feeling of life slipping out of his fingertips like sand.

he just needed time, a few days to compose himself. he would've been fine, he would've gotten over it.

phil sighed, standing up and slipping on a hoodie. he needed to clear his head.

so he went out for a walk.

•-•
A/N:
really reALLY short update,,, sorrY. editing spacenames is rather exhausting, it's really draining me.

qotd: favorite panic! album?

aotd: a fever you can't sweat out.

~ᗷᒪᑌ 🌙