Attachment (An Eren x Levi AU)

Chapter 10- Thinking of You

* Warning: Smut Chapter*
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Chapter 10- Thinking of You

[Eren's P.O.V.]
(Cont. from last text message)

I clicked off my phone and tossed it on my bed. I let out a soft sigh and cuddled my pillow against my chest, the pain in my groin still not disappearing.
Levi just didn't get it, I didn't even understand. I had actually looked it up and I'm not unnatural to not be turned on by porn or to not enjoy masturbating. However, I've only gotten rid of these with cold showers and ignoring but this hurts more than normal.
Maybe he was right, I simply just had to do it regardless but I still felt weird just doing it. It felt wrong and dirty with no intention or meaning behind it.
I looked down at my crotch and saw my pajama pants tented up.
Covering up myself with a blanket, I tried to fall asleep but couldn't get comfortable. The creak of the bed from every small shift didn't help either. You would think that after a few months I would get used to it.
Can't Levi just be here to take care of it?
I swallowed. Why did I think that? I had noticed lately with us talking more and more my feelings were developing slightly for him but not to this caliber. Apparently this was a more extreme crush than I had thought.
I sat up and ran my fingers through my brunette hair. Maybe...
I threw my covers off of me and leaned back against my wall, my legs outstretched on my bed.
I rested my hand on my crotch and gripped myself. I gulped and pulled it away, throwing my hands against my face. This just feels so unnatural and awkward.
Grabbing my phone again, I opened it up to scroll through Facebook but my messages with Levi popped up first. I smiled at them and, out of sheer habit, I began to scroll through. Messages from everyday all the way back to the first day I texted him. I couldn't bare to delete any of them, they're just to precious. I smirked at my phone, my eyes scanning the messages, remembering all the cute moments, funny moments, and even the deep sentimental ones. I had yet to explain in depth about my parents but I have told him a bit about it. Yet he still hasn't shared with me about his. I'm not holding that against him. I still wanna know but I don't hate him for not sharing. Still, my heart wants to know more. I always want to learn more and more about him.
As I scrolled through the texts, I bumped into the message with his nude picture attached. Instantly, my lower area twitched. I gulped and stopped at the photo.
His lower area wasn't completely visible -it was covered by a sheet- but his pale skin and soft curves shimmered in the lighting. His muscles had light shadows on his skin and his eyes were sharp grey blades that held almost a sense of lust in them. Maybe just for the picture or maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to but there was one thing I couldn't deny; it was fucking sexy.
I gripped my crotch again and bit my lip. Massaging the area, small breaths began to escape my lips as my eyes trailed down to where my hand was working.
I looked back at the photo and swallowed the air bubble in my throat. Was I really going to do this?
I let my brain take one last gulp of Levi in before turning the backlight off. There was no way I could do this with any sort of lights on, I could barely even do it at all.
I closed my eyes and let myself disappear in my head, surrounded by thoughts of Levi.
My first thoughts were of his face.
I still could remember the way he looked at me the night in the hotel. The musty air of the room and the overpowering smell of lavender and detergent flooding my nostrils as my eyes bored into his. The blade-like greys cutting my heart into ribbons, his thin eyebrows raising at me while a pink smirk played on his cheeks.
I could still remember the way his face was chiseled in a perfect 'V' and how his small nose fit on his face (a small point to its tip).
Every detail of him was seeded into my head, little strips of paper thoughts whirling around my brain threatening to burst out.
"Levi..." The name tumbled off my tongue, making my pants even more uncomfortable.
I couldn't bare it any longer.
I yanked down my pj bottoms and my boxers all in one swoop, pressure instantly relieving once the tightness was removed. The cool air made me shiver slightly and sink further into my mattress.
I swallowed once again and closed my eyes, descending back into the paper windstorm that was thoughts of Levi.
My hand cautiously traveled down to my lower area and as I slowly began to stroke my shaft, my other unoccupied hand covered my mouth to attempt to prevent the small moans and squeaks from escaping. I tried to keep the sounds caged within my cheeks, but to little avail.
The walls of the dormitory weren't thick. I've heard so many guys touch themselves or bring girls up and it kinda feels like I'm in some sort of weird frat (in which I don't wanna be apart of). I hated that I was become just like them, touching myself shamelessly in a dirty dorm room.
My thoughts trailed farther away from the hand on my member to how Levi looked on that night we spent together. His nude body having a blue moonlight glow to it, reminding me of a god from Greek mythology. His rough raspy grunts and soft pleasureful moans all echoed through my head again.
I couldn't think straight. All the universe faded away and all useless  thoughts trailed into nothingness, leaving just me and my imaginary Levi.
This was Levi's hand on my cock, not mine. It was Levi that flipped me onto my stomach, commanding, "Put your ass up," with an aggressive gentleness to it.
I followed his demand with ease.
It was Levi's hand (not mine) that was snaking onto my butt; taunting and teasing me.
This wasn't my finger that slithered into my ass. It wasn't my hands that were beginning to stroke my cock faster or work at my bum with another digit.
"Ngh! Ha- Levi..." I bit into the pillow to muffle my cries of impending orgasm.
His hands worked beautifully at me, making me ache right where I needed it. His hands knew every spot and every point to make me go crazy.
How could this feel so good? What have I been missing? Why wasn't he really here to make me feel this good?
Fuck! No!
Just like that, the imaginary Levi before me retreated back to the chains of my mind, leaving me alone as some scrawny college kid jacking off in his dorm room.
Although, my body didn't give me time to be disappointed. I released into my hand with one last, "Levi!" under my breath. Long white ribbons splattered onto my sheets as I collapsed into the mess, staining my chest.
My hands moved away from my lower regions, my lungs still trying to regain breathe.
The air felt thick and labored in my mouth and the taste of liquid metal coated my throat. A small dribble of drool had slipped off my dry lips and down my smooth chin.
I had always had a drooling problem, even when nothing sexual was happening. I always remember waking up in a pool of my own dried saliva with the blankets at the foot of my bed (I tended to thrash and kick in my sleep). My mom always picked fun at me for it but she always did it while carefully washing my sheets.
She was a good mom.
I took a few more long moments to gather myself and stabilize my thoughts and actions.
I just touched myself to Levi. The guy I had reluctantly been crushing on just passed a new boundary in my head.
How could I talk to him now? How could I speak to him after doing something like that? He didn't seem to like me back the same way. He even said it, we're just friends.
Standing to my feet, I walked my nude body into my dorm room bathroom. It's still amazing to me I was able to get into a college with in-dorm restrooms.
Stepping into the shower and turning on the warm water, I let the steam surround me and my thoughts until the water went cold.