Attachment (An Eren x Levi AU)

Chapter 17- Don't Go

Chapter 17- Don't Go

[Eren's P.O.V.]
The morning shower took longer than expected with some of the events that unfurled. Levi kept me at his place for most of the day, clinging to me like a lost dog. He ordered in Chinese food and around sunset, I gathered what little I had and told Levi I was leaving.
"Eren, call me when you get back, okay?" Levi clung onto my shirt. The harshness in his eyes had faded and he held only fondness and a gentle touch.
"Sure," I smiled at him and kissed the top of his head.
I opened the door to leave but Levi called out my name. The roughness in his voice slipping through once again, "you should just move in."
There wasn't a single part of Levi that looked like he was joking. He was cold and standing firm. This was a Levi i didn't know. One who couldn't decide between gentle and harsh. One that was so damaged that he couldn't even find himself any longer.
"This house is just too empty and..." He trailed off, itching the back of his neck then returning another steely glare, "you want to?"
I was dumbfounded. He was asking me this right after all this had happened. He had yet to clean the apartment since the accident but to be fair, he was in the hospital for two weeks. He hadn't cleaned out their rooms and yet he wanted me to stay.
Was I excited or nervous? I couldn't quite tell.
"I don't know Levi. I'm still paying for a dorm and I...I don't know. I'll need to think about it for awhile. I'll call you later Levi," and I rushed out. I slammed the door, not meaning too, and went done the hall, tears in my eyes.
The tears were falling without reason. Maybe it was a late reaction from last night, from the question, or from the Levi I was seeing.
It wasn't the same man I meant. The Levi I knew wasn't this attached or this loving. Levi was suppose to be cold and contempt. He kept to himself, only sharing with those that he considered family or those he loved. I would say that maybe he just loves me but that logic is even messed up. He was simply tell me, not become this. I didn't want him to be a perfect clingy boyfriend or a school girl who's in love. I just want him to be Levi, not this.
And yet I still loved him.

The whole walk home I contemplated everything. Levi, if I loved him (which I concluded I did), what to do about moving in, and even my entire life. Why was I stuck in this ruthless cycle of those I love changing and dying and becoming something I never wanted, something they never needed to be.
I stepped onto campus and pulled out my phone, ready to call Levi, yet I trailed my finger to Armin. My thumb had its own mind and I guess it nene me better than I thought.
Armin picked up the call and without hesitation I cried into the speaker, mumbling words I couldn't even understand. And Armin let me cry. I cried and cried while sitting under an ash tree, no words or comments, just wet tears.
Armin calmed me down and brought me to a state where I could speak. There was too much to talk about. I told him to come down to campus and he complied.
I waited, nearly falling asleep again the scratchy bark of the tree, until he arrived.
"Eren, wake up," Armin shook me awake when he arrived, making me panic slightly, "what's going on?" His face held genuine concern.
I explained the shooting again (he already knew about it) and how it affected Levi. I explained last night and how Levi wanted me to move in with him.
"Eren..." Armin started, holding my hand tightly, leaning his head on my shoulder. We've always done the simple stuff like this, it was how I discovered my sexuality, and Armin his. It is really a simple tale of two gay nerds who decided to give it a shot. Ultimately, it failed of course, friends was just the better of the two options, "Clearly, Levi is hurting, he is in pain. However, he can't drag you into this. You've been through too much as well."
Here is where I had to disagree with him. I knew I had been through my share of pain. My father's disappearance, my mother's death...however, I have had my time to move past it. Levi's wound is fresh. The only family he has ever known was killed and he was the only one standing. He was alone again and I was all he had. I wanted to stay, but moving in scared me to death. With how things went over last night, I was terrified to possibly have that happen on a constant. I could confidently say I loved him, but how did he feel? Did he really love me or was it temporary? Was it because I just happened to be there?
I couldn't tell.
"But Armin, I love him..." My voice cracked. It always did that when I had to cry. Why did I want to cry? "I make him happy and that's all I want. I'm thinking I'm going to say yes. I can help him."
Armin sighed and wrapped his arms around mine, "I still don't think it's smart and I know Mikasa is going to get mad," Armin closed his eyes and relaxed into me, "but, if you think you can help him, I won't stop you. Just please be careful."
I smiled even knowing he wouldn't see it, "thank you...you know I love you right?"
Armin laughed through his nose, the air skimming my skin, "of course...I just wished we could have worked out."
I didn't even have to ask what he meant. He and I were melded together to be friends.Two halves of a whole mind, not a heart like lovers. I loved him to pieces but i couldn't bring myself to see him as more than a friend. If only was all I could think. If only.

Armin and I ended up falling asleep on the grass and his pants got stained. I swear he almost cried over it. He was just too cute. But I helped get him back to his college and went back to my dorm to get ready for classes. I would just let Levi know tonight what I was going to do. I had to move in. I had to help him, no one else could.
Although, it couldn't hurt to call Hanji. She did say to call her if something was happening with Levi. Currently, she knew more about him than anyone, considering...
Pulling out my phone, I grabbed the scrap of paper I had shoved into my case and dialed her number.
1...2...3 rings went by and I nearly hung up when she picked up and literally screamed into the speaker, "Hanji speaking!" suppressing the sudden urge to chuck my phone all the way across the city, I replied, "Hi, Hanji? This is Eren."
In the background, I could faintly hear a few rats squeaking, she was probably at work. I remember her mentioning her work in the car on the way to Trost,"Eren! How are you? WHat's going on?" Hanji's words and voice was slurred, almost as if she were drunk but I had a feeling she was a lot worse than this drunk.
"Well, I was wondering if you could meet up with me? I need to talk to you about something," my voice wasn't shaking or nervous like it normally would be asking fro a favor like this. Maybe Levi was changing me somehow. Or it was just me working on it myself. I couldn't tell.
"Sure, I'll pick you up after work. I'll call you! Bye~!" And with that, she hung up.
Stuffing my phone back into my pocket, I closed sat in my room in silence. For me, I has no classes today and my lessons to catch me up over my two week long break were going okay, I was getting back into it.
What would it mean for me to move out right now? Would I still be able to attend Trost?
My phone buzzed in my back pocket. Assuming it was Hanji I pulled it out slowly but seeing Levi's name on the screen startled me, I'm moving closer to Trost so you won't have such a long ride. Levi was so confident I was moving in with him. How could he be? He doesn't even know I'm agreeing. I mean, I am but he doesn't know that.
I didn't respond and sat my phone next to me.
As well as catching up in classes, I didn't show up to work very often but Mike was forgiving. He made me promise to come in everyday for the next two weeks and we would be even. I agreed, I needed the money.
For the entirety of the day, I leaned back in bed, nodding in and out of sleep until I got a text for Hanji that she was outside.
What a productive day...
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So...I'm almost finished with this story! I'm excited to finish it up although I don't know if I'll be writing any other fanfics after all this. I have yet to decide fully.
Don't forget to comment and vote!!!