Attachment (An Eren x Levi AU)

Chapter 15- Goodbye My Friend

Chapter 15- Goodbye My Friend

[Levi's P.O.V.]

~Time Skip to End of October~
Isn't it kind of funny to think that every aspect of life can be climbing up, going into a place where the sun is bright and warm against your face. You can feel the wind brush your cheeks and you can taste the clouds, the smell of salt water and tree leaves surrounding you.
And then it all vanishes within a matter of minutes.
It's a twisted game life plays on us, building us up to crash us down.
Isabel rushed ahead of Farlan and I. We had decided to all take a day off to hang out at the mall. We knew there wouldn't be many people wandering around at noon on a frosty Tuesday in late October. Isabel wanted to pick up some new scarves for us; she said that it would be cute for all of us to match. Farlan and I decided that it would be fun to spend the day together, no matter how long we knew Isabel takes shopping.
The whole mall smelled like wet autumn and it gave me the feeling that I needed to clean the area around me, everything just felt muggy and damp, even the air. I licked my lips, trying to wash away the muddied air.
Isabel held her arms out to her sides, her pink overcoat flowing out behind her while she ran around the open checkered floor of he mall, bags hanging from her arms. Farlan and I hung back, each carrying only one bag as we were finding our way to the exit.
"Hey Levi, can we talk for a minute?" Farlan smiled, keeping his mouth closed and now exposing his teeth.
"Sure," I shrugged, keeping my head forward. If I looked him in the eye, he would lose focus, that was a normal for him.
"Well, you know that bartender?" He leaned forward so that he was looking at my face. Farlan's tan sweater hung loosely over his neck, revealing a bit of his chest when he veered his head in front of me. I could smell the detergent I had used earlier in the morning, "well he and I have been seeing each other a bit more and I just, I'm finally starting to, you know, move on."
Farlan's face held genuine happiness. I could feel something warm bursting from him. I could hear the joy in his voice when he spoke and I could see the glimmer in his eye when he told me.
I exposed my teeth slightly, "that's awesome Farlan, seriously, I'm happy for you."
Eren and I had been having regular dates as well. We had only been together around a month or so but I could feel my feelings growing for him. Every text message or voicemail I got excited me. I loved being with him and just talking, I couldn't ask for more.
Isabel rushed back to us and threw her bag draped arms around us, laughing excitedly and going on and on about a skiing trip she wanted to take. She said we could bring our boyfriends and she said she could have some girl time with Hanji. The idea of the trip was exciting, something that everyone could have fun with.
Everything felt perfect. I had everything I needed for once.
Then it was gone.
Just as the front doors to the mall came into view, four men burst in, hooded in black sweatshirts and wielding pistols or shotguns at the crowd.
Instantly, I reacted, pulling Isabel and Farlan to my side, holding their hands and each of us numbing the others hand with our grip.
The people around us screamed and began to scatter but the three of us held firm to one another. The men appeared to just be threatening, no shots had been fired. They made no movements to shoot, so one man thought he would take the opportunity to escape.
He was the first victim.
He collapsed, seven bullet holes piercing his chest and stomach and his body pooling in blood and the area falling into a hush.
The crowd rushed around the mall, falling into stores or hiding in restrooms seconds after that moment. The men began shooting, the echo of gunshots rang in my ears and deafened me for a few moments. Within the panic I had fallen to the ground and Isabel and Farlan had disappeared. They left me?
I grabbed my head and surveyed the area around me. I could see nothing of the two of them.
There were bodies spotted along the floor, and leaving patches of crimson below them.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and every ounce of me wanted to pull it out because I knew, I just knew, it was Eren.
I stood up, ignoring the ringing in my ear and the vibration in my pocket and rushed toward one of the stair cases.
I froze when a shock was sent up my left leg, tingling and burning the nerves up my entire thigh. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, but I just collapsed and crawled up a few steps, holding my thigh.
The concrete steps were cold despite all my layers of autumn clothing. My black denim jeans were stained with blood, along with my now red hand.
I gritted my teeth and leaned my head against the wall to my right. The whole corridor felt small, dark, and cold. It was like sitting in an icy hole alone and the walls were closing in, I could feel them.
My head was screaming with fear, my ears ringing with it, and my nose smelling it, twinned with metal and led. I could taste the bullet in my mouth and it made me want to vomit.
Desperately, I wanted to stand up and search for Farlan and Isabel. I wanted so badly to find them and know they were okay, but I couldn't. I couldn't move on my own and it was becoming harder to think.
My phone was still vibrating with texts and calls but everything began to spin and lose focus. Red and blue lights flickered in my vision but I was having a hard time opening my eyes anymore than where they were.
I was convinced this was where I would die. I believed this was it, just as I felt like I had a plan, a roadmap of where to go, it was just burnt to a smolder in front of my eyes.

Everything I remember was a blur. I remembered the men helping me out on a gurney. I remember feeling nauseous and I remember my head spinning. I remember turning my head to the side and burning the image of Farlan and Isabel on the ground, blood pooled around Isabel's head and neck and around Farlan's waist. I remember thinking it was a dream. I remember closing my eyes and opening them again, hoping something would be different. I remember it all so vividly, despite hearing nothing around me but slurs of people trying to speak to me.
The memory clearest to me, was when I saw Eren outside, crying into his hands when he saw me. His face was red and puffed up like a balloon with wet tears falling around his hand and chin. He rushed over to me, taking his damp hand from his mouth and calling out my name.
That came through perfectly clear.
He ran along side the gurney and rode to the hospital with me.
Eren was the one this in focus, untouched by blur or static.
He was clear, he was my ocean.
I didn't say anything for the two weeks I spent in the hospital. My conversations consisted of nods and head shakes, yet Eren stayed with me and spoke to me none the less. He wasn't expecting me to be cheerful or happy after everything that had happened, but he still stayed and smiled. He talked about college and about how he met Hanji. I almost spoke up when he told me about being mugged. So that evil had touched Eren as well as Farlan and Isabel?
After I was released, Eren walked me home. I couldn't walk very well and my leg still wasn't full recovered. I would need to go to therapy for a few more weeks before I could walk on my own.
How sad was that?
Eren laid me down in bed and sat my crutches next to my bed, "are you going to be okay here by yourself here?" Eren's voice was calm as he spoke into my ear. It was worried and soft, gentle like pool water.
I nodded, still not speaking. I was afraid to. If I spoke, I would cry. I couldn't do that in front of him.
I wanted him to stay but I couldn't tell him that.
Eren kissed my forehead and walked out of my room. I heard the front door click shut with his exit. The moment I heard the lock snap shut, I cried. I pulled my pillow over my face, curled into myself, and let everything go.
Everything I had was just stolen away. Farlan, the man I once thought I loved, my brother, and best friend was gone. And Isabel, my sister, mother, and friend was gone. I could never hear her terrible puns anymore or hear Farlan's laugh again.
Farlan was just moving on, just moving passed the past. He was making a future and trying. He was falling in love and finding happiness outside of us. Isabel was becoming stronger, more independent; she was becoming a woman.
I couldn't just lie there. Standing to my feet, I pushed myself to my door and stepped out into the empty living room. Eren hasn't turned off the light so the lonely room was brightened. There was no drink Isabel passed out on the couch or a snoring coming from Farlan's room. Just utter silence and loneliness.
Forcing myself along the wall to Farlan's room. I fell onto his plush mattress and sat myself up. The room was a mess but it was covered in posters and the floor was littered with dirty clothes and paper. He liked to keep him room a mess just to spite me.
The papers all had poetry written on them. Beautiful, well written poetry. There was a letter from a publishing company, approving his work.
He was a poet and never spoke a word about it to me?
I couldn't help but feel hurt. Something like this in his life was just pushed to the side and kept from us?
But, examining further, the letter was sent the day it had happened. The day Farlan was killed, was Farlan's breakthrough.
I fell back, Farlan's papers in hand and let myself fall into tears again. I was drowning myself in his memory -his smell, his face, his body, his life.
I trailed to Isabel's room after. Her room was even more of a mess, cluttered with a little bit of everything with no organization or apparent theme.
She had a wall covered in Polaroids of the three of us. She was so happy, all of us were.
Now she had Eren inside her.
Her smile, face, eyes, energy...everything was a carbon footprint of him. I fell into her bed as well. Her mattress was harder, firmer. She slept like a cat on cement.
While holding clothes and papers and photos, I breathed in the last bit of them I had and fell asleep, dampening every bit of material I held.
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Well...I'm sorry 0-0...I had too