Chapter 20- Run
[Eren's P.O.V.]
Everyday seemed to run together anymore. Levi takes me to classes, Levi takes me to work, Levi and I go home. That was everyday for us anymore. Even when I had my days off, I was with him.
This wasn't something that I could sugar coat either to say, "oh, I'm finally spending my time here with him. I'm so happy to always be with him." This wasn't my choice.
Levi, on a constant, threw a fit whenever I wanted to do something else without him. If I decided to just go, when I got back, he would utterly violate me. The smooth grey of his eyes would turn to a cold metal and he wouldn't sit back.
Eventually, I learned to just stay. I wouldn't leave. Even at work, Levi would stay. He would always watch me, he would pay for lap dances and he wouldn't let anyone touch me or even get close.
Levi got me fired.
Although he couldn't have been more relived, I was hurt. I had no job, no friends any more, and slowly, I could feel myself slipping farther and farther from him. I could still feel the pounding in my heart whenever he would just be him. Cuddling, his small smile and perfect skin...although I was seeing less and less of that Levi. I was seeing the Levi I hated, the Levi I wanted out of my life.
I was losing the love I had. And no matter how badly I wanted to hold on, I couldn't stay. I was so convinced I could change him, make him whole again, but I was the only one losing ground. Levi was stealing my soul from me.
At this point, I was afraid to love him. Afraid to love him anymore or to love him any less. Yet I didn't want him gone. It's hard to say what I did want or how to describe the feeling, but I just wanted him to love me the right way. The way you see in novels or movies. Though I know that can't be real, I just didn't want this.
So I chose to leave.
That night was long. Levi screamed and cried, telling me he loved him how he didn't want me to leave. How he couldn't live without me. I cried as well. I didn't want to leave him, every part of me loved him and I knew I loved him more than I would ever love anyone. Levi had changed me, made me happier, stronger, he had shaped me into the person I wanted to be.
He helped me find closure with my mother.
But this Levi wasn't the Levi I loved and I knew, if I left, I would never have the chance to see that Levi I loved again. Although, my chances of seeing him even if I stayed were grim as well.
The hardest part of it all was that I could look in his eyes, and I could see love. It was as if his eyes were screaming all the words he wasn't, please stay! I can change! Don't leave me like they all did! Please Eren, I love you...don't go...
Levi had clung onto me, crying into my shirt, staining the dark fabric with salty tears. His arms were wrapped around me tightly and it took every bit of my shattered heart to not touch him, to not hug him back. I was staying in this place, only getting hurt. I wasn't going to find my Levi again, not like this.
He sunk lower and lower until he had fallen onto his knees, crying at my feet. Loud, ugly cries. Levi doesn't cry like this...this isn't him.
I had to keep telling myself, this isn't him, this isn't my Levi...I'm hurting a shadow, a ghost of mine. Yet it didn't hurt any less.
I walked away from the crying stranger while he called out, "Please, Eren! Not you too!"
Shutting the door behind me, I ran.
Afterwards, I went back to the apartment while he was at work, collecting all my things and leaving for the last time. Although, I couldn't find the black sweatshirt I always wore. Whatever, he could keep it. I'd just buy a new one.
I knew that wouldn't be the end though. No, he wouldn't make it that easy.
My phone never stopped buzzing. Eventually, I just started leaving it back at the dorm. I began hanging out with all my friends again and Armin wouldn't stop apologizing to me for no reason. He felt bad.
I had stopped reading Levi's texts when it was just flurries of I'm sorry.
I was done. I had to be. Yet, I wouldn't block his number I refused to. I couldn't
What a mess of indecision I was.
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Short chapter, sorry. But the rest will be longer! Don't forget to comment and vote!
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Attachment (An Eren x Levi AU)
FanfictionEren Jaeger had never been the type to be very social. Usually, he stuck to his room, his mother, and his friends. But nothing lasts forever... After his mother died, Eren changed, even going as far to have his college job be him working at a strip...
