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18. Days in the East

Days In The East

Chapter Eighteen

September 25, 2012

Beyoncé arrived to the dark beach around two in the morning. No one was in the vicinity, allowing her absolute comfort. She wrapped herself in the comfort of her bikini cover up and looked around. The soft breeze accompanied the weather to make it the best. Her eyes scanned the beach's waves. Jones Beach was the beach that many overlooked unless they were looking to exercise. With the long boardwalk, it was essentially good for long strolls. A part of her had hoped that she wasn't going to be stood up, but it had been a long time coming. She missed him tremendously, and she didn't know that it would feel this way. His message to her made her feel a way.

She turned away from the waves to look at the walking figure toward her. Shawn looked her right in the eyes as he walked closer to her. For so long, he yearned to look right in her eyes. After she'd done what she'd done, he was ashamed to feel the way that he felt about her. If his family knew that he was seeing the woman that took his brother's life, he feared their reactions.

The two didn't speak. Instead, they turned to face the waves. The sound of the water clashing was soothing to their ears. Bey could feel her nervousness. She'd never felt this way in her entire life, but she was nervous about his feelings. Did he still love her? Was he angry with her? Was this their final goodbye?

"I missed you," she confessed slightly above a whisper.

Shawn tensed up at her voice. He hadn't heard her voice ever since she hung up the phone the night he suspected that she murdered his brother.

"I know y-you hate me," she started, feeling the lump in her throat. She never imagined feeling the pain in her chest, but something about this man did it to her. "But, I'm sorry."

Shawn closed his eyes, wanting to block out her vocals. He wanted to block out her tone. Without even looking over to her, he knew that she had tears in her eyes. Women crying usually didn't faze him, but this was different. This was a woman that he'd fallen in love with.

"Why can't you just...speak?" She asked him. That's all she wanted. She hated feeling like she was talking to a brick wall.

"I don't hate you," Shawn spoke. Bey turned her attention to the man standing next to her. "I tried so hard to force that feeling, but I couldn't."

Beyoncé felt relief hearing his voice. The last time she'd heard it, he was threatening her about his brother's funeral. Shawn finally turned his attention to her and sighed. "I don't know what I feel."

"Then why did you send me the message?"

Shawn sighed. "Because I needed to see you. Look, I don't hate you," he spoke. "Am I upset with you? Hell yeah, but I don't hate you."

"Then why have you been so-"

"Look at it from this perspective, Bey. I never pulled the trigger on your brother. I wasn't even aware when it had happened. You know what I was thinking about while your brother was getting killed?"

She didn't respond, because she didn't know the true answer.

"You," Shawn answered. "I was thinking about how I could make your birthday the best birthday in the world. I wanted to do so much in that little amount of time, but when you didn't even show up, I knew something was wrong."

"You didn't know?"

Shawn shook his head. "Michael did it all on his own." At times like this, he couldn't stand his younger brother. Taking Jermaine out was the most selfish thing he'd ever done, and was showing that Michael was becoming too power hungry.