In New York You Can Be a New Man

Chapter Thirteen

Aw, I'm so sorry Alexander. And poor John.... Wow I should stop writing such sad stuff... ;-;

***

John slipped the small, leather bound book into his backpack and inserted his key into the door. When the door swung open, John immediately noticed the mess. In fact, it looked almost as if a tornado had swept through the dorm. 

"Um, hey? Alexander?" John called into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Oh thank goodness! John! You must help me! I was just writing in my journal this morning, and now I can't find it, and there is some really important stuff in there, and I need to find it, like right now!" Alexander said, not pausing to take a breath. "For one, my debate notes are in there, secondly, I—"

"Okay, okay! I'll help you find it!" John said, setting his backpack down. 

Even though he met Alexander's eye with a confident, comforting smile, John could already feel the guilt bubbling in his chest. He had made Alexander into this nervous wreck, and it was his fault if Alexander felt scared. 

The two searched the already-ransacked room but to no avail. After all, John was sure to avoid the one place where he knew the book resided. 

John gave Alexander a warm hug, muttered something about not giving up, and grabbed his towel to take a shower. Waving at Alexander as he slipped out of the room, he snatched his bottle of shampoo and conditioner on his way out. 

Nothing like a cold shower to relieve you of guilt.

--

John had changed into sweatpants and a faded Columbia University t-shirt before he returned to the dorm. His hair was dripping wet on his shoulders, with no towel to protect it. 

John pushed the door open to find the room empty.

"Hey, Alexander? You there, or..."

"Yes. I'm here." Alexander's voice drifted from his bed.

John immediately noticed something off about it. It sounded measured and forcibly even, almost as if Alexander was trying not to cry. 

"Did you find the book?" John asked, knowing the answer perfectly well.

"Yes. Yes, I did." 

John wasn't expecting that. He felt his stomach drop and his breathing stopped for a second. His eyes flicked to his backpack, with its zipper completely undone.

"W-what do you mean?" John asked, his head spinning and feeling light-headed.

"John." Alexander turned on the bed to face John. "You don't need to lie to me. I get it. I guess roommates— especially best friends— should be honest with each other. They should trust each other. I thought you were more than this..." 

Alexander's voice broke, and John could see Alexander hugging his book to his chest. 

For the second time in his life, John had no idea what to do. 

Inside his head, he debated his wide variety of options: 

1. He could play it dumb (but there was no way that Alexander would buy that).

2. He could apologize to Alexander (but John was sure that Alexander wouldn't forgive him).

3. He could just walk away from this mess. 

So, John just turned away from Alexander and walked out the door. 

"Fine have it your way, I guess we were never friends after all."

The instant those words were out of his mouth, he regretted it. He could clearly see the emotions flicker across Alexander's face— hurt, anger, hopelessness.

Alexander looked at the ground, tears he never knew he had flowed freely down his cheeks.

--

"Guys, I screwed it up bad this time." 

"John, what did you do this time? Did you get into a fight with Seabury? 'Cause if you did, you better have gotten it on tape because I live to see that guy get pummeled!" Hercules' lofty voice drifted from John's phone, and John flinched at his loudness.

"Mon chéri, what is wrong? I can hear something is very sad in your voice. S'il vous plaît, stop with the yelling, Hercules." 

"Can I come over?" John said, sniffling.

"D'accord, John."

--

"You did what!?" Lafayette screamed.

John ducked his head and felt the guilt wash over him again. 

Actually, ducking his head served two purposes, one was to avoid his friends' dirty looks and the second was to dodge the textbook chucked at his head courtesy of Hercules.

John sighed, "Okay, I know I did something stupid. Really stupid. If I could go back in time and re do it, I would. Reading that book wasn't worth it. Actually, the only thing I learned was that Alexander is in love with someone. Not once does he even say a name." 

Lafayette cocked an eyebrow at that but kept silent. 

"Do you have any ideas what I could do to make it up to Alex?" John asked hopefully.

"Let le petit lion cool off first. He needs time to work through his feelings. Then we can plan something. Do not fret, Alexandre will come around."

Some things would just have to wait. He would just have to wait for it.

To take John's mind off of Alexander, Lafayette and Hercules dragged John to the couch to watch silly movies with them. Even with Lafayette's terrible impersonations of Mulan songs and Hercules fighting Lafayette over who came first (the movie Hercules or himself, Hercules obvious argued the latter), John didn't crack a smile. 

How could he smile while his (ex?)-best friend sat alone and hopeless? And it was entirely his fault.

***

Dang, John. Okay, so I know this is like really (I mean REALLY) angsty, but all will be well soon(er or later). So, just keep reading my updates and eventually the clueless college students will be BFF's again. :) Thanks for reading, commenting, and voting! Katherine xxxx

PS: Have a great Sunday! <3