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;emily;

I strike out the cigarette against the roof tiles, tossing it off. Turning my head, I grab my phone from beside me. I have an hour before Ella, Beth, and Jim are here. Joe, Michelle, and Ashely are meeting us there.

I told Liz I was just gonna hang out with Ella and Beth for a while, which wasn't a lie. We were just gonna hang out at a party. Our curfews had been moved back to normal, but for tonight she said I could stay out until one, as long as I got a ride home and wasn't causing trouble.

She was very fond of them to say the least.

Luke had asked if him and the boys could go to this party thinking if she knew she'd just tell them not to do drugs and let them go. Quite the opposite actually.

They were spending the night here with all of the mums aware they were not allowed to go, and Michaels mum keeping watch on them and not letting them leave the house. So I was smart about it.

Luke didn't even know that I had any intentions on going, he thought we were gonna go to Ella's house too.

She said the reason he thought that was because they had a fake conversation near them about skipping the party and hanging out this weekend, so he wouldn't be suspicious. She's fucking genius.

Beth said they missed me at the last one, which I couldn't go to because I had to hang out with the boys. The first night the boys came over, when they were rude. Which is why my friends insisted I went to this one.

After staring up at the clouds for a few more minutes, I climb back in through my window, only to see the boys sitting on my bed.

"Yes?" I groan, kneeling down to rummage through my bureau. I'm not gonna be super slutty, but it's gonna be warm. I want to dress for the occasion.

"You literally have the best opportunity ever and you're using it wrong." Luke scoffs, flicking something at me.

"By going to Ella's house?" I laugh quietly.

"Liz trusts you. You could go and be back on time," Calum tells me. I know, it's what I'm doing.

"We don't wanna go to some stupid high school party," I shrug, putting my clothes on my desk.

"C'mon, we're desperate, we can't go. We're on lockdown," Ashton pouts.

"That sucks for you, what do you want me to do about it?" I huff, getting annoyed with the boys.

"Go to the party for us, tell us about it. Take pictures," Michael pleads, looking very serious about it.

"Not in a million years," I grin sarcastically. "Are we done now? Can you guys leave?"

They nod with small groans, getting off my bed. All except Calum. I raise my eyebrows at him, pulling on a plain black v-neck over my tank top.

He looks like he's supposed to ask about the party, try to convince me, but he doesn't.

"Are you okay?" He says gently, eyes flickering down toward my thighs. Then to my stomach, and finally back to my eyes.

"I'm fine, Calum. You know about the last time," I bite my lip, thinking to math. He had asked me about it then, and that Sunday was the last time I had cut. Almost a week clean. I congratulate myself.

"And, when you last ate?" He licks his lips, searching my face for signs of panic I assume.

"Three," I pause, a nice smile on his face. That was a few short hours ago. "And before that it was dinner the night before, but I ate every meal that day." I inform him quickly, so that he'll leave me alone. He waves when he departs.

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