Foster ✘ 5SOS

•17•

;emily;

When I woke up the next morning, it was to loud snoring from the boys. And of course cuddled up to Calum, who was the only one snoring quietly. I wiggled myself out of bed, tip toed toward the bathroom, and climbed into the shower.

I let the warm water run over my skin for a while, trying to bring myself to wake up more before eventually climbing out and getting dressed. I throw on a plain black shirt, a red flannel, and some black jeans.

Deciding that I have plenty of time, I blow dry my hair until it's just damp and then French braid it, smiling lightly at the way it looks as I begin to do my makeup. I do a simple winged eyeliner and a nude lipstick. I just felt like doing something with myself today, as I woke up early.

With a small smile I exit the bathroom, seeing three sleeping boys, and Calum's empty bed. He must've woken up not too long ago and gone downstairs.

I jog quietly down the stairs, seeing a shirtless Calum eating some grapes and leaning against the counter sleepily.

"Morning, Cal," his gaze turns to meet mine, eyes slowly fluttering open before widening.

"Good borni- voah." As his mouth was full of grapes, everything was muffled, but his shock was evident in his expression. Does it look bad? He swallows quickly, a distinct 'gulp' noise coming from his throat. "You look nice, Em."

"Thanks," I mumble, feeling heat rise to my cheeks as I look down. He offers me some grapes but I shake my head. "I think I'll just have some tea."

"The boys will probably wake up in about an hour or so. Parents are at work, Mali is out. It's just us for a while." Calum hums, eyes raking up and down my body. "Is that my shirt?"

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just grabbed a random black one, I knew it felt bigger than the last time I wore it. I'll go-"

"It's alright, Em. You can wear it." He chuckles after cutting me off from my sentence. "It looks better on you anyways. You can keep it,"

That's very nice of him, but I probably won't keep it. It's his shirt, and I didn't even mean to grab it. I'm just glad he isn't upset with me or anything. I've done this before, I really need to pay closer attention when I'm grabbing clothes.

We meander toward the living room, letting Perks Of Being A Wallflower play in the background as we talk. Despite the various seats around the room, we're both sitting on the couch in very close proximity; his warm skin is pressed up against mine.

And then he leans in and starts kissing me.

Immediately I can sense the difference in this kiss, the feeling of want very prominent from his side of the kiss, especially when he switches our position so we're lying down, him on top of me, tongue slipping into my mouth. And all of that happened before I could even realize.

Not that I'm upset about it.

Calum's teeth sink into my bottom lip briefly, but my thoughts have long drifted away and making out with him has become the second thought on my mind as I fade in and out of reality. This reckless behavior will ruin me.

All of the reckless behavior that has been building up lately is going to come crashing down on me eventually. The smoking, the lying, the fighting, the making out with different boys... all of it. And I'm just now realizing it. But then, those thoughts wash away.

I will dance by myself and I will sit in the rain. I will lie on train tracks and I won't look both ways. I'll forget to buckle my seatbelt, I will run for hours without a destination and I'll let him continue kissing my neck. I won't stop drinking at my limit, I'll stay up until 3am on weekdays, I'll read through texts I should've long deleted. I'll say things I don't really mean; I will forget that I am someone.