Insomnia

Chapter 27

Today was the day.

When I woke up, the atmosphere already felt weird. I was in Cal's room, and streams of sunlight were coming in from the window. I looked over at Cal, which I started doing everyday now. It got less embarrassing daily when I woke up in his room instead of my own.

Cal was still laying there, but he was awake. I looked over him, trying to see his face. There weren't tears streaming down his face, and he wasn't sobbing silently. He was glaring at the window. He was breathing heavily and kept blinking a lot.

When he noticed I was awake, he turned towards me. He was smiling, but I could immediately tell it was forced. His dark eyes had lost their sparkle.

"Morning." He greeted. He kept smiling, expecting me to smile back. Hi smile faltered when he noticed my serious expression. "Rory?" I smiled a bit as well.

"Morning..." His smile came back, and he got up out of bed.

"I slept surprisingly well..." Cal told me while finding a shirt to put on.

"Really?"

"Yeah." He gave me a toothy grin. "Maybe it's you." I blushed and looked away with a frown.

"You're an idiot." He laughed a bit before leaving the room. I let out a sigh. He wasn't as bad as I thought he was going to be.

I got up and stretched. Nick wasn't around anymore to come to Cal's aid like he usually planned to, so it was all on me today.

It seemed to easier than I thought until I stepped into the living room. Cal didn't notice me come in. He was standing at the counter facing the living room. He head was down and his knuckles were white from clutching the end of the counter.

He was shaking, but his face was still dry. He had his eyes clenched shut. It didn't last long, because they shot open like he was scared of what he saw. He still didn't notice me, but looked caught off guard.

"Shit." I heard his whisper to himself. I saw a tear leak out his eye before he quickly wiped it away. "Shit. Shit. Shit!" Cal whispered angrily to himself. He started to let out silent sobs that made his entire body shake. He wasn't okay, like I thought he was. He was just holding back in front of me.

I went back to my bedroom without letting him know that I had been there to see him. Cal still needed company, but I knew that he needed to be alone for that moment.

I took a shower and pretended I was doing other things in order to give him some time. When I came back out, he was sitting in the living room watching TV. It was an act, because he wasn't really paying attention to the TV.

He eyes flickered to mine almost immediately after I stepped into the room. He forced another smile and patted the spot next to him on the couch.

"Hey-"

"Don't do this," I said to him. His smile faltered and he looked at me with a surprised expression.

"What?"

"Don't do this." He chuckled nervously.

"Rory, I don't-"

"You're acting like everything is okay, but it's not." His eyebrows shot up.

"Rory-"

"I don't understand why you would want to suppress your emotions when you're obviously sad. It's insane. What do you even get out of it?"