After three short rings, my mother picks up the phone.
"Hey, sweetie! How was your first week of school?" She chirps. I lay sprawled across my bed, thankful that Naomi is out on this uncharacteristically warm October afternoon.
"Eh, it was ok." I tell her, thinking back to my past week. "Lots of homework." I add. I hear a shuffling noise in the background, and can clearly picture my mother loading up the washing machine, separating darks and whites.
"Have you made any friends?" My mother asks, a little too hopefully.
"A few." I lie.
"Aw, honey, that's great. I'm so proud of you." I can hear her smiling through her words. "As much as I miss you, I'm glad you're away from this town, and all of the bad memories it-"
"Thanks, Mom, I gotta go. Talk to you soon." I interrupt, hanging up the phone. I sigh dramatically, and roll onto my back. I'm not exactly sure of what to do with myself on this Saturday afternoon. I have no friends to call, and I've completed all of my weekend assignments.
I decide to take a walk, and explore the vast campus of the school I am still familiarizing myself with. The bright sunshine soaks my skin with warmth, and a light breeze blows through my long dark hair. I find myself surprised with how large the school grounds really are, their extensive length impressing me. After walking for about a half hour, my legs grow tired, and I find a grassy area to rest. I pick at the fresh blades and allow my mind to wander to pointless thoughts.
"Bella! Hey!" I hear someone call, snapping me of my aimless thinking. I turn my head and watch as Dylan takes a seat in the grass beside me. I almost don't recognize him, his bottom lip is split in two, and scattered cuts and bruises cover his face. The skin surrounding his left eye is purple and tender.
"Oh my gosh! Dylan, what happened? Are you okay?" I lean in closer to him to get a better look at his tattered face. Dylan lets out a light chuckle at my concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine. But if you think this is bad, you should have seen me earlier this week!" He offers me a genuinely happy smile, which looks out of place on his damaged skin.
"But what happened?" I push. Dylan lowers his gaze, no longer meeting mine.
"Uh, nothing. I just fell is all." He says, his smile fading. I don't know how to answer him, so I continue to pick at the blades of grass that rest all around me.
"So, listen, the reason why I came over here was to apologize." My eyes meet his as he continues. "I was an asshole at the party. I usually don't drink that much, and I'm really sorry." I smile at him.
"No no, it's ok," I shake my head. "I admit that I overreacted a tad." We both laugh at that comment, Dylan nodding in agreement. I'm surprised at how easy it is to keep a flowing conversation with Dylan. I also take notice to how extremely attractive he is, even with his bruised face, and if I was looking for a boyfriend, then I would want him. Not that I am looking for one, because as much as I hate to admit it, I am still hung up on the guy who's face is permanently engraved into my mind. The guy who haunts me every night, invading all of my dreams. The guy who almost cost me my life.
"So, how much did you have to pay Harry Styles to help you out that night?" Dylan jokes.
"Nothing," I shrug. "I guess he was just being nice."
"Harry Styles? Nice?" He scoffs. I haven't been bothered by thoughts of Harry all week. Why is Dylan bringing him up now?
"Then I don't know why he helped me." I laugh. "I mean it's not like we're friends, or we're dating, or anything." Dylan's eyes scan over the campus sprawled out in front of us.
"Yeah, I know you're not dating." He mutters.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I snap, and it comes out much nastier than I had intended it to. Dylan's eyes find mine again, and he raises his hands up in defense.
"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that Harry Styles doesn't date anybody."
"What do you mean?" Why do I care? Dylan shrugs.
"He just fucks girls, and never dates them. It's kinda sad because a lot of the time they fall for him." I ignore Dylan's vulgar word choice, and find myself prodding him for more answers.
"Why?"
"I dunno." I am frustrated by not only his answer, but my fascination of the subject. "Do you maybe wanna grab a bite to eat?" Dylan smiles at me. I want to say yes, but I am held back by my fear. Gnawing its way into my stomach, causing it to turn.
"Actually, I was just about to head back to my room, I have a ton of homework." I lie. "Maybe some other time." Before Dylan can answer, I rise from my seated position, and walk back to my dorm.
I reenter my room, and am surprised to find Naomi, Lily, and Eve sitting cross-legged on Naomi's single bed. As soon as I step into the space, I am greeted with glares from the three girls. I was hoping they would still be out, and I would be able to lie on my bed, allowing self hatred and pity to consume me as it always does.
"Um, sorry. I just came to get my wallet." I lie. I might as well leave, because its obvious that I am unwanted here. I grab my purse, and for the second time today, leave my living quarters. I decide to go to the onsite café, as I usually do in the mornings before class. As always, I sit in the back with my drink, watching others engage in conversation.
Suddenly the door chimes jingle, and a large group of guys enter. Their loud voices overpowering those of the other customers in the shop, causing a silence to fall among us all, all eyes focused on them. After they've all ordered their drinks they sit, much to my discontent, two tables down from me. The café door opens and closes once more, and Harry walks over to the table of guys. Great.
"Sorry I'm late." I hear him say, I look down, and begin tugging at a loose string on my cheap bag. The last thing I want is for Harry to see me. He'll probably make a fool out of me just to show off to his friends. I decide it best to make a break for it, and hopefully I can leave without much notice. I rise from my chair, and walk towards the front of the shop, I am just about halfway there, when I hear a patronizing whistle from behind me. I know it best not to turn around, and continue my journey to the front door. I'm almost there when a tall brunette jumps in front of me, blocking my way.
"Hey, baby. How you doin'?" He smirks at me. I try to come off as unfazed by his sudden interest in me, when in reality, I am extremely intimidated.
"Fine." I say." "Excuse me." I try to maneuver around him, but he steps in front of me once again.
"What's your name, beautiful?" He asks, lifting my chin to meet his gaze with his index finger. My heart's pace increases, as I hear light chuckles erupt from his friends behind us.
"Bella." I answer, pulling my face away from his touch. "Now if you'll excuse me, I really have to go." I try again to walk around him, but as expected, he blocks my path.
"Wherever you're going," He purrs, running his hand down my arm, sending shivers through my spine. "I'm sure I could show you a better time." Once again, his friends burst into laughter. Humiliated and afraid, I make a dash for the door, only to be held back by this boy. He grips my wrist loosely. In the back of my mind, I know he poses no real threat to me, but I can't help but feel panic overthrow all other senses.
"C'mon Bella!" He laughs.
"I really have to go." I plead, my heart beating so fast it feels as though it will fail me at any moment.
"You're not going anywhere unless I'm going with you." He jokes, and his friends laugh again. His smile is playful, yet I still feel tears threaten to brim over my eyes. Ever since that night, any sort of contact receives the same reaction, tears, panic, and flash backs. No matter how much therapy my parents put me through, it all ends the same, nothing will ever change the fact that I have cracked, and there is no glue strong enough to keep the remaining pieces in tack. Soon enough, I will shatter.
"Please let me go." I beg, my voice trembling. The boy laughs, and tightens his grip on my wrist.
"I'm not gonna hurt you, baby." He says condescendingly. "I just wanna-"
"Let her go, Josh." A deep voice growls behind us. Harry stomps over to where we stand, and Josh's eyes widen, obviously afraid of the taller boy.
"Did you not hear what I said?" He hisses. "Let. Her. Go." My wrist is immediately dropped, and I watch as Harry steps toward Josh, Josh stumbling back. Harry's eyes look dark, unreadable. He's fuming.
"Hey, man I was just kidding. You know that."
"But you took it too far." Harry's voice sounds distant, as if he's not even in control of his actions. I know I should run out and not look back, but I can't seem to. I feel somehow responsible for all of this.
"Harry." I squeak. Both heads immediately snap in my direction, and I gulp. "S-stop." I stammer. I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to accomplish, but I'm hoping to get through to Harry. I take small steps towards him, and place a trembling hand on his bicep, in an attempt to guide him away from the other boy. He surprisingly obliges, moving closer to me. His clouded eyes seem to contain multiple emotions, and it's hard to pinpoint one. Josh dashes out of the shop, and I let out a sigh of relief. Harry's eyes are still glued to me, and I begin to back out of the store.
"Um, thanks for, uh, helping me. I'll see you later." I awkwardly smile, and push the door open. The sky is painted in pastels, splashes of oranges and pinks shine behind the setting sun. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten. I begin my walk back to my room, praying that Naomi has left for the evening to attend another party. I hear the sound of footsteps loudly hitting the pavement, as someone jogs up behind me.
"Bella!" Harry calls. I sigh, and turn around, completely unsure of what the outcome of this interaction will be.
YOU ARE READING
Break Me-A Harry Styles Fanfiction
Fanfiction"And just like that, he picked her up and dusted her off. Without even trying. That's how their love was. When she was at her worst, he saw her at her best." -(M.M.) Warning: This story contains scenes of self harm.
