Break Me-A Harry Styles Fanfiction

Chapter 23-Answers

The second Harry's mouth hits mine, I melt into him, a lingering taste of vodka plays on his tongue. Our mouths mold together perfectly, like pieces to a puzzle, and fireworks erupt within my stomach. I am a live wire, high voltage, and dangerous. His energy ignites me, sparking electricity deep within my core, shooting power throughout my entirety. I lift my hands to loop through his curls, tugging gently at them, evoking a soft groan to erupt from his throat. The sound is music to my ears, and I would give anything to hear it-no. No! What am I doing? Any sort of self discipline seemed to have diminished as soon as Harry's mouth met mine, but I can't be so quick give in to him. He is drunk, and is probably only kissing me due to a sufficient amount of loneliness.
  I disconnect our swollen lips, my mouth instantly craving nothing more than to retain the feeling of Harry's alcohol-induced taste.
  "Harry, no." My voice sounds weak, almost disbelieving the words tumbling out. I take a step away from him, no longer allowing myself to inhale the toxicity of his scent. I meet his eyes, emerald glazed over in a blanket of intoxication, through his unresponsive state, I still see the hurt shadowing the light from his irises.
  "Bella," His voice is pleading, desperate. I want to give in, to liquefy beneath his touch, allowing him to kiss me until my begging lips are satisfied, but I can't. He needs to learn that I am not an emotionless play toy for him to use as he pleases. I shake my head.
  "You need to leave, Harry." I whisper, barely audibly.
  "Why?"
  "Because you can't keep putting me on a shelf until the next time that you need me. I have feelings too, and you just keep messing with them. One minute you're affectionate and sweet, and the next you're distant, and acting like you barely know me! I can't keep up! You need to make a decision as to whether you want me in your life, or not, because this back and forth shit is driving me crazy!" I shout at him, balling up my fists, and digging my fingernails into the skin of my palm, most likely arising blood.
  "I know! I know!" He retaliates, then plops down onto my bed with a sigh. "I don't mean to be distant, I just..don't know how to deal with these feelings." He admits, and I try to ignore the fact that excitement skyrockets within me, pulsing through my entire body.
  "What feelings?" I receive another sigh from Harry.
  "I.." He stutters, anticipation gnaws at me, eating away at my insides. "I need you." He finally proclaims.
  "I don't understand." I tell him, desperately needing an elaboration.
  "I need you, Bella. I need to be near you all of the time. I can never stop thinking about you, and I know that I've been a dick to you, but I just don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling. I've never felt this strongly about anyone, and if you just give me one more chance, I promise I'll make it up to you." He explains, his eyes never leaving mine. My heart soars within my chest, sheer joy coursing throughout my body, and I have to keep myself from flying into Harry's arms and showering him with affection.
  "How do you think of me? What am I to you?" I have to ask. He stands from the bed, walking over to me at an agonizingly slow pace. His tall frame towers over mine, and he cups my cheek in his hand.
  "You're everything to me." He whispers, his face inches from mine. No longer being able to withstand the antagonizing need that I feel towards him, I forcefully press my lips against his, desperation clear in my actions. He stumbles back slightly, taken aback by my uncharacteristically forward response, but never breaks the kiss. I rest my hands at the nape of his neck, tugging him closer to me, and he bends down, wrapping his fingers around my thighs.
  "Jump." He instructs with a grunt, and I happily oblige, hopping from the ground, to be lifted into Harry's arms. My legs wrap around his waist, and he walks us over to my tiny bed, gently laying me down onto the awaiting mattress. His lips break contact with mine, as his mouth travels down my jaw and neck, planting sweet kisses to the flesh.
  "Harry." I breathe, as he sucks lightly on the skin beneath my ear. No one has ever made me feel this way before, my heart is beating erratically inside of my chest, and my whole body aches for Harry's touch. My brain feels fuzzy and unable to do or say anything at the moment. Harry's lips finally finish their gentle assault, leaving me to feel flustered, and unsure of what to do. He falls onto his back, laying his head next to mine, and we repose in a comfortable silence.
  "Harry?" I finally pollute the quiet air with my words, curiosity getting the best of me. Harry rolls his head to face me, forest green eyes blinking intently back at my blue ones. "What made you want to come to America?"
  "It's not that I wanted to come to America, it's just that I wanted to leave England. If that makes sense." He admits. A crease forms in between my brows.
  "Why did you want to leave England?"
  "Too many bad memories." I nod my head in understanding. "I needed to get away, you know?"
  "That's exactly how I felt." I am relieved knowing that I am not the only one to ever feel trapped inside of their own home.
  "What were you running from?" His voice is not in any way mocking, just curious.
  "My past, but I haven't done a very good job. It seems to follow me wherever I go, as if it's an anchor permanently chained to my feet, weighing me down." Harry frowns at my explanation.
  "When your past calls, don't answer. It has nothing new to say." He says, and my lips curl into a slight smile.
  "Has that worked for you?" He shakes his head.
  "Not quite, but I'm working on it."
  "Me too." Harry's eyebrows crinkle, and I want to reach out and trace them with my fingers.
  "You should try harder." He says.
  "What? Why?" He ignores my questioning, answering in a simple yet well thought out response.
  "You know Bella, an entire sea of water can't sink a ship unless it gets inside of it. Negativity is the same way, it can't bring you down unless it gets inside of you." My heart swells at his raw and unconditional safekeeping of me.
  "When did you become as philosopher?" I joke in an attempt to lighten the suddenly heavy mood. Harry smiles.
  "I'm serious, you should start doing things that make you happy."
  "You make me happy." I confess, and the grin on Harry's face grows. He brushes his nose against mine, planting a soft kiss to my lips.
  "Then maybe you should do me." He smirks, and I playfully push his shoulder.
  "Let's not get ahead of ourselves." I laugh.
  "Are you saying no to me?!" Harry pretends to be angry, over exaggeratingly pouting his bottom lip. I burst into a fit of giggles as he climbs on top of me, digging his fingers into my sides as he tickles up and down my body. Deep laughs erupt from his throat, and our laughing integrates, echoing throughout the room in a beautiful chorus of expressed happiness. His actions eventually cease, and he collapses next to me once again, both of us contently out of breath.
  "You're fun when you're drunk." I smile at him, and amusement dances within his green irises.
  "Oh yeah?" I nod my head. "Well I think I've sobered up a bit."
  "Good." I smile, and he returns my gesture.
  "Your eyes are so captivating." He unintentionally blurts, then shuts his mouth as if trying to prevent any other unwanted thoughts from tumbling out.
  "So do you." Is all I say. Harry shakes his head.
  "No, yours are more so. They're so expressive, and particular. They demand to be noticed." A heat rises to my cheeks as I blush furiously. I was never one to welcomely accept compliments. "I can always tell how your feeling based on your eyes." He explains further into detail.
  "Oh yeah?"
  "Yeah. They remind me a lot of hers." His eyes widen, and he presses his lips tightly together, obviously accidentally releasing his innermost thoughts. I know that I shouldn't prod him for information, but my curiosity is too overwhelming, and I can't help but question him.
  "Who?" Harry sighs.
  "My sister."
  "Oh. Are you two close?" Something shifts within Harry once my question escapes my mouth, hanging heavily in the air. A twinge of pain flashes deep within his emerald eyes, and I immediately regret ever asking him.
  "I'm sorry. We don't have to talk-"
  "No it's ok." He interrupts me. "I've spent so many years avoiding this subject. It feels nice to talk about it." He admits, and I sit up, crossing my legs as I await to hear Harry's explanation. He joins me in a seated position, leaning against the concrete wall.
  "We used to be close, Gemma and I."
  "Gemma is your sister?"
  "Yeah."
  "Oh."
  "She was my best friend. She was so funny, and caring. If my parents were fighting, she would take me into her room and tell me stories to distract me. She always made me feel important, always made sure that I was doing ok, and being well behaved." I nod my head in understanding, and Harry's gaze drops to his lap. "I was so young, I never saw the signs, but they were there. In everything she did and said, the signs were so prominent, I was just too stupid to see them. My mum and dad weren't observant enough to see them, but I should have been. I should have known. I should have saved her."
  "Signs of what, Harry?" I ask gently, not sure if I am prepared to hear the answer.
  "Depression. She killed herself when I was 12. Took an entire bottle of sleeping pills." I cannot stop the gasp escaping my lips, my heart shrinking at the thought of young Harry finding his sister's limp and unresponsive body.
  "I-I'm so sorry, Harry." I reach for his hand, intertwining his long digits with my own. He smiles slightly at my gesture, but a frown was still etched into his perfectly sculpted features.
  "Thanks." He mumbles, and I bring my hand to cup his cheek, an action usually allocated by him.
  "It's not your fault." I try my best to persuade him. The thought of him believing that he was the cause of his sister's death makes my heart shatter in my chest, in no way could he have prevented that at his young age. Climbing onto his lap, I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into a well needed embrace. He rests his hands at the small of my back, peering his green eyes into my blue ones.
  "Her eyes were expressive like yours." He tells me after a few moments of silence. "I told her that once, and she had said that eyes were the window to the soul." A ping of guilt rings within me, and I feel bad knowing so much about Harry's past, while he knows nothing of mine. I contemplate telling Harry about him, about how I ruined our relationship, and made him want to hurt me, but what would Harry think? Would it scare him away? I immediately shake the idea of informing him, he would never understand.
  "You look tired." Harry observes, breaking my thoughts.
  "I am." I admit.
  "Then you should get to bed." He smiles, swiping a piece of hair off of my face, and tucking it behind my ear, a simple action that I've taken such a liking to. I nod, pulling back the blankets, and climbing under their comfort. Harry moves to stand from the bed, but I grab his arm, preventing him from doing so.
  "Please stay." I beg, and he offers me a reassuring smile.
  "I am, I'm just taking off my shoes." He explains, and I release him, allowing him to remove his white converse.
  "You should take your clothes off, too." I accidentally blurt, then immediately cover my face in mortification. Harry's laugh fills the room, and I refuse to meet his eye.
  "If you insist." I can hear his smirk through his words, and I have to remind myself not to gawk at Harry's barely-clothed figure. He climbs into the bed beside me, and I snuggle into him, nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck, inhaling his musky scent. He wraps his arms around my waist, and our legs intertwine.
  "Harry?" I whisper.
  "Mhm?"
  "Thank you for telling me about your sister." I say, blinking up at him. He leans down and presses a small kiss to my lips.
  "When you're ready to open up to me, I'll listen." He whispers, as I drift into sleep.

The calm before the storm :) Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! I'll update when this chapter has 10 votes! Follow my twitter @slamminstyles for updates on the story, etc :) xo