My heart beats rapidly, and I look worriedly up at Harry, hoping he can't hear the pounding in my chest. He glances down at me, and I immediately look away. Why did he ask to accompany me? Why did I allow him to? The short duration of our walk is spent in silence, anxieties pooling in my stomach. Once we enter the shop I've become so familiar with, Harry tells me to find us a seat while he orders us each a drink. I avoid my usual seat in the back, not wanting Harry and myself to be hidden from the workers and pupils populating the store. I choose a table in the middle of the café, and sit down. I stare out the window, watching as passers by scurry back and forth throughout the campus, completely oblivious to the terrified young girl silently pleading for help. The thought of being alone with Harry scares me beyond belief, as I have been warned countless times to steer clear of him. He returns to me, two steaming beverages contained in cardboard cups in his hands. He places one in front of me and I mumble a thank you. We sip in silence, an uneasy tension lingering between us. Should I be the first to speak?
"So," Harry draws my attention. "You like the school so far?" His plump lips curve into each word, I can't seem to take my eyes off of them, so full and pink. He notices my stares, and I drop my gaze to my lap.
"Uh, yeah. Everyone seems nice." Harry seems skeptical of my answer, intimidation clear in my voice. He lifts his cup slowly to his mouth, and takes a long sip. I watch as his lips shape around the opening, his Adam's Apple prominent as he washes down the drink. His eyes are glued to me the entire time, and once my gaze moves up to his forest green stare, he pulls his eyelid shut in a wink. My head shoots down once again, as I feel a deep crimson rise to my cheeks. He knew I was fascinated by his lips, and he drew attention to them on purpose. I couldn't be more mortified. I fake a cough, and try to ignore the heat in my cheeks.
"So, um," I sweat, desperate for a conversation topic. "Why don't you date?" The words tumble out before I can stop them. A combination of confusion, amusement, and seriousness appear on Harry's soft features.
"Why don't I date?" He repeats.
"Um, sorry. I-" I shake my head. "What, uh, what classes are you in?"
"Why are you asking about me dating?" He looks...excited? No, he's probably trying not to laugh at me. He obviously isn't willing to let this topic go, and I sigh.
"Dylan told me that you don't date." I say into my drink, taking a small sip.
"He's right." My eyes meet his.
"Well, why?" I question, suddenly feeling brave. Harry leans back in his chair, and shrugs.
"Because I don't want to."
"But why not?" I push. My frustration causing amusement to become clear in Harry's eyes.
"Why do you care?" He smirks. I am surprised by his comeback, and sit up a little straighter in my chair, trying my best to look uninterested.
"I don't." I snap. An awkward silence hangs over us, neither one daring to break it. Suddenly Harry's phone, resting on the table, begins to vibrate. Both of our eyes find the shaking device, and Harry looks up at me.
"I'll be right back." He says politely after checking the name of the caller.
"No, no you stay. I should go anyway." I respond, rising from my chair. Disappointment fills Harry's eyes, but all I receive from him is a nod. I take small steps to the door of the shop, half of me silently begging for Harry to call out for me, rushing over to me, and begging me to stay. When he doesn't I find myself a lot more disappointed than I should be.
The next morning I sleepily slump into my history class, gulping down my hot coffee in an attempt to wake myself up. I take my seat in the back, and gather my materials needed. Harry, actually arriving on time this morning, finds his seat next to mine. Neither of us acknowledge each other, and I find myself wishing for Harry to engage me in conversation. Mr. Brown begins his lecture, pacing back and forth, making large hand gestures to emphasize his point. My pen moves quickly, jotting down the important information, whilst trying to keep up with my teacher's incredibly fast speech. I can feel Harry's gaze burning into me, but I ignore him. Suddenly Ms. Winters, a teacher from across the hall, interrupts Mr. Brown, and requests a moment of his time. He looks a bit irritated, but obliges, the two walking out into the hallway, closing the door behind them.
"Hey." Harry says to me. I lift my head, turning to face him.
"Hi."
"How are you?"
"Fine." Harry stares at me long and hard, making me uncomfortable. My eyes find the door, and I silently beg for Mr. Brown's return.
"Can I ask you something?" Harry asks. I shrug.
"I guess."
"Um, do you want to-"
"Sorry about that, everyone!" Mr. Brown exclaims, trotting back into the classroom. "Now, where were we?" He thinks for a moment. His momentary memory loss is restored, and he picks up on his lecture. I can't seem to focus on my professor's speaking, too interested in what Harry was going to ask me. I turn back to face Harry, and find him staring at me.
"What were you gonna ask me?" I whisper. Harry offers me a small smile at my fascination.
"Do you want to-?"
"Mr. Styles, is there something you'd like to add?" Mr. Brown raises an eyebrow. All eyes find Harry and me, and I put my head down. Harry shakes his head.
"No, sir." He says sarcastically. Mr. Brown sighs, and once again, continues his speech.
"Anyway, do you wa-" Harry begins.
"Harry!" Mr. Brown shouts. "Stop. Talking." Mr. Brown scolds angrily, obviously tired of Harry's constant interruptions to his class. Harry huffs, sitting back in his seat. He rolls his eyes, and I widen mine, astounded by his lack of respect.
"Now listen to me, young man. You either abide by my rules, and treat me with respect, or you leave my classroom, because I am sick of your constant attitude."
With that, Harry grabs his backpack, and forcefully pushes his chair to meet his desk, the two objects colliding with a loud thud. The class remains dead silent as Harry stomps out of the room.
As soon as the lunch bell rings, I step outside, and begin to wander around the grassy area. I find a shady spot under a tree, and settle down. I pluck an apple from my book bag and chomp down on it, its sweet taste filling my mouth. I open my book, and begin to read, reality fading around me as my captivated mind becomes entwined in the alternate universe.
"Bella!" I jump, and snap my head in the direction of the noise. Harry sits in front of me, his arm extended out, a cup of coffee is held for me. Even though I've already had a caffeinated beverage today, I politely accept the drink, thanking Harry for his uncharacteristically kind offer.
"I didn't see you there." I laugh, chewing another bite of the tangy fruit. Harry smiles at me.
"Sorry I scared you."
"It's ok." I take a sip of the coffee that Harry bought me, and I try not to gag. The two flavors of coffee and apple don't mesh well in my mouth, leaving a revolting after taste. "So, what were you gonna ask me in History?" I ask casually, trying not to seem eager. Harry sits up a little straighter.
"Right. Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to, like, I don't know, hang out or something. Maybe tomorrow?" His eyes bore into mine, gleaming with anticipation. I bring my bottom lip in between my teeth and begin to chew on it nervously. Do I want to go? My mind is flooded with indefinite possibilities of horrible outcomes of the evening. What if Harry is actually just making a fool out of me by asking this? I take a deep breath, and decide not to over think it.
"Yeah, I would like that." I say, though I'm not sure if I truly mean it.
YOU ARE READING
Break Me-A Harry Styles Fanfiction
Fanfiction"And just like that, he picked her up and dusted her off. Without even trying. That's how their love was. When she was at her worst, he saw her at her best." -(M.M.) Warning: This story contains scenes of self harm.
