My Life's Pleasures

Distance

Cut. Good, now do it again. Go deeper now, that's right. 

My thoughts direct me as I slice my skin apart, my will puts up no fight.

You wouldn't believe all the blood on this floor, it's such a sight. 

Make another, larger, you're a pathetic excuse for a cutter. Keep going! 

My mind tests me, thinking I won't listen. 

Believing I'll give in to self-preservation. 

But I won't, I refuse. 

Even if it's all the blood I have left to lose. 

This is the immoral path that I choose. 

Is that all you've got? Surely not.

The voices are right, I'm not at my best. 

With this blade I lacerate my flesh. 

It's got to scar, it has to last. So you have these memories.

I cry from anger, fear and frustration. 

I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough. I'm not worth it. I'm just not.

I start to feel dizzy and breathless. 

Finally, I don't feel so heartless. 

Impressive. 

It whispers through the room. 

It's not even past noon.

They'll be here soon. 

To see the damage they have left. 

My own life's theft. 

Woven with a single weft. 

Thrown into the wind and blown through the distance.

I blink into reality for just once instance. 

I can breathe again. 

I can see again. 

What, I thought, it couldn't be.

I thought from this monster I was finally free.

You didn't do it right. Now do it again. This time, finish it.