Love In The Lights

Chapter 21

Barbara's POINT OF VIEW

(1 week later)

this week has been so stressful i have done nothing but work all day everyday. i get up at four o'clock in the morning and i am out of the house by half four get to where ever the photo shoot is at five am, work hard at the shoot until around 10 or 11 pm, and some times i even have two shoots in one day then i go home eat and then sleep and do it all again the next day and honestly it is fucking hard. i have had so many bookings recently and this is going to be my routine for the next few weeks. but i just need to suck it up and work my ass off. i have not had time to see Justin in a few days and when i have he comes round and i just fall asleep on him i feel bad but he says that it is fine. i have not seen or spoken to Kendall or Zack and i don't want to.. in some ways without them being in my life there is no drama.

but today i was travelling further and the journey took an hour by car and i have to be there for five am. my alarm starting ringing at three o'clock in the morning meaning that i only got four hours sleep and for me to start of the cycle all over again. i slammed my hand against the alarm clock turning off the alarm. i didn't dare to close my eyes again knowing that i would fall asleep instantly, this week is really taking it's toll on my body, i have no energy and i just need to rest for at least one day. today i have two photo shoots and i am really not in the mood. i rolled out of bed and didn't bother showering considering i had one last night. i left the light off in my room not wanting me to blind myself from the brightness, i pulled out any item's of clothing from my wardrobe not caring what i was wearing, i just threw it on i didn't put on any make up or anything i just left my bed hair to be and walked out grabbing my bag that had my sunglasses-- not that i would need them at this time in the morning-- purse, keys and my phone with other things stuffed in the bottom like pieces of paper, lip balm. practically anything you would need you could most likely find in my bag. i sighed heavily once again before stepping out of my front door not bothering to wake anyone to tell them that i am leaving because i just don't want to, right now i am not in the mood to talk to anyone but i know that whenever i get to work i will have to plaster my happy face on and pretend like i am fully awake when really i'm not, i'm fucking tired. as soon as i got into the car i drove straight to McDonald's thank the lord for 24/7 McDonald's i went through the drive through 'hello how can we help you?' the women standing at the first gate asked me looking up towards me 'can i just have a regular coffee?' i asked 'sure, sorry to be rude are you barbara palvin?' she asked as she began to make my coffee 'yes' i said trying to fake a smile 'wow, here you are that'll be $2' she said as i smiled and handed her the money and drove off. i wasn't in the food to eat i don't even have enough energy for that. now to brace myself for the hour drive.

After arriving at the set for my photo shoot with ten half an hour to spare i sat down in a chair in the make up room ans slept. as soon as my eyes shut i was asleep.

'Barbara, barbara wake up' Lacey said poking me 'sorry' i mumbled rubbing my eyes. it was now five am and honestly that little sleep didn't me any more if anything i just feel more tired than i was before 'hair and make up, go' she said pointing to the other chair where the hair stylist was waiting for me patiently 'hey sweetie' she said welcoming 'hey, sorry for making you wait' i said sitting down 'it's fine honey i understand that you are tired' she said as she lightly brushed away all the knots in my hair. i decided to tweet as i just haven't had much time to do that lately 'so tired, need sleep! but work calls' was one and a few minutes later my phone started to ring and a smile formed on my face, a real smile when i saw that it was Justin. i put it on loudspeaker so that the hair stylist could continue with it 'hey' i yawned into the phone 'hey baby you sound tired' he said concerned into the phone 'i am, but less about me.. what are you doing up at this time?!' i asked generally not sure 'scooter is making me rehearse even longer today for tour because i can't get this stupid steps i'm just so stressed' he sighed into the phone 'i know baby, but it'll all be worth it' i said trying to make him feel better 'i hope, when do you get off work today?' 'not til late i think around ten or eleven again' i yawned into the phone again 'you need to stop working so hard i am actually worried about you' he said with his voice sounding generally concerned 'i'm fine i promise you' i assured him 'when am i going to see you?' he asked dropping the topic of conversation knowing that i didn't want to talk about it anymore 'i don't even know according to Lacey this will be my schedule for the next few weeks' i said sighing heavily into the phone 'that sucks, i miss you' he said 'i miss you too, you can come to mine at about ten today and we can just watch films or something?' i asked him 'i'll be there' he told me 'okay i have to go because i am getting called for make up' i said 'okay baby, i love you' he sang into the phone 'i love you too bye' i giggled back 'bye baby' was the last thing i heard before i hung up 'aww you two are adorable!' the make up artist said as she began my make up i just giggled in response 'no seriously what you have seems real not like fake and put on, it's not often you find that' she praised 'well thank you' i smiled.