Love In The Lights

Chapter 22

JUSTIN'S POINT OF VIEW

i woke up the next morning with the worst hangover ever i have no clue what happened last night i remember nothing after about beer five. i don't even remember coming home or how i got home but i got here all in one piece and i am alive still in my clothes from last night thank you Scooter for giving me the day off today because i need it.

i walked into my bathroom and just stared at myself in the mirror. i looked a mess to say the least. my eyes were all red and puffy like i had been crying which i had no clue as to why i would be crying i am never that emotional that i need to cry. i shrugged it off and just assumed that it was just the alcohol effecting my body. i climbed into the shower and washed all the sweat away from my body and cleaned myself trying hard to remember anything from last night but i just can't. all i remember is why i went to the club and why i got drunk. today i think i better go and find Barbara and whatever photo shoot Barbara is at and make it up to her for blowing her off like how i did i just hope she isn't too annoyed.

Barbara's POINT OF VIEW

after finally falling asleep at around half three.. crying myself to sleep may i add. i had to wake up half an hour later despite my mum telling me not to go in to work because of the lack of sleep i had i didn't want to not go in, i didn't want to disappoint anyone i wanted to be the best i could and i wanted to work so if that meant going into work and onto a photo shoot with half an hour sleep then so be it that's what i will do.

Everything was replaying in my head of what happened that night the words 'i can't do this anymore' in particular where running through my mind bringing tears to my eyes once again, when i thought i was all out of tears they just pop up again filling my eyes and proving me wrong. i threw on leggings and a big baggy over sized top not wanting to impress anyone, not wanting to leave the house for that matter. i wasn't sure how i was going to get through a photo shoot without crying today but i have to fight it, i can't let my emotions get the best of me no matter how strong they are 'sweetie are you sure you want to go?' my mum asked me in a very mothering tone 'yes i'm fine i pro-promise' i crocked out fighting back the tears once again. i felt empty inside, felt like i was a vulnerable little girl. reluctantly my mum let me go although the worried look never left her eyes as she stared at me as i climbed into my car. i first pulled down the mirror and looked at myself. i looked worst that i thought my eyes were red and puffy making it abundantly clear that i had been crying. i had small mascara stains on my cheeks from remaining make up that i didn't manage to take off last night my lip was trembling showing my weakened strength as i continued to fight back the never ending tears that continued to fall despite my battle against them, my nose was red from the sniffling i had been doing to try and hold back the tears. but right now the tears were too powerful and i couldn't do anything to stop them despite how hard i tried to.

i did my regular routine as to what i did every single morning only know my mind wasn't focused on driving, work or going to McDonald's my mind was focused on one thing and one thing only. Justin. wondering what he is doing. what he is thinking? is he thinking about me? does he still love me? did he ever actually love me? but thinking about him and all this made the tears fall from my eyes faster than before dripping on to my lap and sinking into my black leggings. i didn't bother going to McDonald's to get my usual coffee for some reason i just didn't have it in me. the photo shoot set was only a few miles away so it wasn't a long drive and when i arrived i prepared myself for a day full of sorrow, hurting and pain.. and all that i had to try and hide. i was upset but i was also angry and confused i had millions of strong emotions running through my mind that i had no clue what to believe or to think for that matter. i rubbed my eyes removing any tears and fought them back as i braced myself and climbed out of my car locking it and tossing the keys into my bag as i walked over to the group of people chatting and laughing within themselves which all of that seemed to be impossible and something that i just couldn't bring myself to do. 'hey Barbara!' Lacey called over to me happily as she saw me walking towards them, she walked over to me. i never understood how she was happy and frankly everything was giving me a headache 'Lacey please don't' i whispered not wanting her to cause a scene and for all the clients to see as i could feel tears hit my eyes once again although i just couldn't fight them back no matter how hard i tried i just couldn't. i dropped to the floor and curled up into a ball hugging my knees and cried and cried everything around me was spinning and everything was out of control. Lacey ran towards me and joined me on the floor and comforted me not asking what was wrong knowing that would only cause more tears. at this moment in time Lacey didn't seem to care about the clients which were all staring now she only cared about me. 'h-h-h-he b-ro-oke up w-with me' i crocked out tears spilling uncontrollably from my eyes and i was in no rush to try and control them 'what?' Lacey asked me in pure shock i just nodded and took a deep breathe as i tried to compose myself so i was able to explain to her 'h-he said he lo-v-ed me s-so mu-ch and t-that he thou-ght th-that i d-didn't love h-h-im, but he was dr-unk, but he m-must of been th-thinking of it t-to say i-t t-t-though' i said taking deep breathes as i continued to sob into her shoulder 'oh sweetie i'm so sorry' she said rubbing my back i didn't reply i just didn't have the energy. i had no energy. after sobbing hysterically i pulled myself together 'i'm sorry' i whispered 'no no! it's fine you go home and i will sort everything out here' she told me 'no, i can't i'm fine i promise' i told her, although i was promising her something that wasn't true i wasn't fine, i was far from it.