Salvation To My Stars • Kylo Ren [2]

XXVII

Bellamy's Pov

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I have never felt so many emotions in my entire life. I hated it, I hated it so damn much. It felt like someone ripped open my chest and grabbed my heart, threatening to rip it out if I breathed. I paced back and forth in my room, sweat trickling down my back, free flowing like the condensation on a window pane.

I clenched my chest, breathing hysterically as I tried to keep myself together but I was failing miserably. I pull at my hair, noticing that I had started to violently shake. I grabbed onto a chair so that my violent shaking would not cause me to fall. The whole world has vanished right in front of me and now there was only pain, enough pain to change everything beyond recognition.

That's when it happened.

From my mouth came a cry so raw and powerful that it shattered the mirror in the corner of my room. I cried as if my brain was being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flowed out of my every pore. I screamed so loudly that the chair I was holding onto was suddenly ripped apart and from my eyes came a thicker flow of tears. My crying was both ferocious and noisy. I blinked briny tears from my bloodshot eyes, my lashes stuck together in clumps as if I had been bathing. The tears made wet tracks down my face and dripped from my chin.

I screamed again, falling to the ground and holding myself. I sniffle into my sleeves, trying desperately to wipe away the consistent flow of tears. Great sobs racked my body as I tried to push myself off the ground but I ended up just falling back to the floor, soaking myself in my own tears.

I bite my tongue when I hear knocking at my door, trying to hold the tears that threatened to leave my eyes. I finally have enough strength to get off the ground and wipe my wet face. I put my brave face on, my Isidore Ren face on. The door opens with a creak and Elwood stands in front of me, putting a hand through his hair, seeming rather boyish.

He looked up from his feet, his lip still cut and his cheek was still a darkened purple. His face was completely pale, probably still processing that he was almost killed. His eyes met mine and that's when I can't hold my cries back. I can feel the warmth, sliding down my cheeks, and rolling off my chin. Then another and another, until my eyes flood with them, coming down like a rainfall.

He took a step towards me, not even letting me resist his embrace because he knew that I needed it. There was something so warm, something that felt so right and I let my body give in. He shut the door behind him and cradled me like a cherished child. In that embrace, I felt my worries lose their sting and my optimism raise it's head from the dirt. I felt him brush my hair back and he tightened his hold on me.

"It hurts so much." I whisper into his chest, afraid that I'd stain his shirt with tears.

"I know Issy," He muttered against my head. "I know."

"I don't know what I'm going to do."

"We aren't going worry about that right now."

I gripped onto his shoulders and pulled myself to look at him. "I thought you were going to die."

"For a second, I thought I was too." He chuckled, shaking his head.

I place my hands on his cheeks and look at his soft, gorgeous eyes. "You took the blame for me! Are you freaking crazy? You ALMOST died! Do you not understand that?"

"I do," He places his hands on top of mine. "Like I said Issy, you and Hux are the closest thing I have to anything."

I can't help but let the slightest hint of a smile show as our noses brushed against each other. "Will you stay will me tonight?"

He nods his head, pulling away to wrap his arms under my legs and lifted me up. "I don't think I'll ever be able to leave you again."

"Good."

In the darkness our cuddles feel like a little touch of heaven, warm, together, genuine. I wish I could extend the night just so I could stay close to him for longer, safe in his embrace. His arms wrapped around me brought me a peace I've never known before, a calming to the storms in my mind. I think it was him that gave me hope for a future.

In his embrace I start to believe that there is nothing out there to fear, that Kalila Jane was some kind of gift from my mother, that I could fight the darkness inside me...that I could see Ju-

Another sob racks my body again and Elwood pulls me closer, my hand gripping down on his chest (which I may add is very toned). "Hey, it's gonna be okay. Not right now but soon."

"This is embarrassing," I wipe my nose on my sleeve again. "I'm supposed to be Kylo Ren's powerful daughter."

"You are," He agrees, still scared of my father's wrath. "But you are also your mother's daughter, you were born to feel."

"I'm about to do something else embarrassing," I look up at him, only to find out that he was already looking at me. "Elwood," I mutter out. "I've blocked out any kind of emotion Snoke told me to but I know who I am and I think that I know that-" I take a breath, seemingly scared to say it again. "I love you."

"I know," His signature smirk appears on his face. "And I know how I feel Issy, but I won't say it back until you know for sure."

"Alright," I nod my head. "I guess you'll be the first person I'll let know."

"In the meantime," He turned on his side slightly and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I think I'll just have to show you." He leaned in, pressing his lips against mine and just like that, we were kissing.