Salvation To My Stars • Kylo Ren [2]

XLVI

Jude's Pov

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Day 1

Uncle Luke told me it would be a good idea to journal my thoughts while my sister is in therapy. He also thought it'd be good to refer to her as just my sister, not by her name yet. He explained that she wasn't Bellamy yet, bits and pieces of Isidore still toyed with her mind.

I've spent most of my time in my room. I know when I am needed and at the moment, I am not. Nalani is in surgery and Corinthia is helping put together a plan of attack against the First Order. I need time to reflect on what I've done and what I plan to do. I know what I did was a mistake and unfair to Corinthia and I know that still having feelings for Corinthia is unfair to Nalani.

One thing is for sure, I messed up.

Day 2

Uncle Luke came by my headquarters with breakfast, knowing I wasn't in the mood to eat with everyone in the mess hall. After having a small chat with me about grandmother's current state, he left to begin my sister's first official therapy session. Grandmother was still unresponsive and on life support but the Force was strong in her veins, she wasn't hopeless yet.

Around lunch, Uncle Luke caught me painting a portrait of my mother. It wasn't a very pretty picture. It was how I imagined her after a battle when she was young, bruised and cut, but grinning proudly because she had not failed. The two of us ate lunch together in my room, he told me everything that went on. My sister was quiet for the most part, only answering his questions with subtle nods or shaking her head. Before he left to let her eat lunch alone, she remembered that her favourite food was a roasted galma.

The worst part of my day was when Corinthia came around our shared headquarters but I pretended I wasn't around. Knowing she never remembered the passcode, I hid in the bathroom until I knew she was gone. She didn't sound hurt or offended when she called my name for the last time but I felt hurt. I don't want to isolate her, but I also don't know what to do.

Day 3

Nalani is back at it again. She was now the General of the Resistance and no longer the queen of Naboo. Anfra and Bli settled down a few rooms down from me and would usually come by to visit. I drew them pictures of Naboo so they wouldn't feel homesick but they seemed excited to be away from home. I learnt that Nalani was the only one who left Naboo out of the three of them. She had hopes and dreams, and she followed them. Unlike Anfra and Bli, who just followed in their father's footsteps.

Anfra told me that Nalani looked over Corinthia, Poe, Jess Pava and Uncle Luke's battle plans. She accepted them and the Resistance would be fighting the first battle at dawn in two days. The First Order's last base was located in the outer rims territory and we would blow it up. Nalani wanted to keep the casualties to a minimum but apparently Corinthia reminded her that people die during a war. Nalani wouldn't have it so she said our main goal was to take hostages, not kill people who didn't even see it coming.

Day 4

Silence.

Day 5

Uncle Luke woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me that he was sorry for not telling me anything yesterday. He told me that my sister had a break down and broke a bunch of things, she wasn't very stable so Uncle Luke didn't leave her side until she fell asleep. Apparently the break down was caused because she suddenly remembered every memory all at once, too quickly to write everything down and too overwhelmed to talk about it. She broke her wrist from punching a wall so the med droids had to come visit her.