Salvation To My Stars • Kylo Ren [2]

XLVII

Bellamy's Pov

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"My name is Bellamy Leia Jane Solo, I am seventeen years old, almost eighteen. My mother is named Elara Jane and she died saving me. She was beauty and grace, kindness and early mornings. My father is named Ben Solo but he was seduced by the Dark Side just like me, and renamed himself Kylo Ren. He is humour and protective, darkness and powerful."

"Kylo Ren and Snoke muted my memory so I could become Isidore Ren, a trained killer. I became she and killed the innocent, found enjoyment in destroying lives. I pushed my brother Jude Solo away and denied the truth that was my family. I fell in love with a boy named Cedar J. Elwood, he taught me how to feel. My memories have returned to me and the Light is guiding me back to the person I should be."

"Anakin Skywalker is my great grandfather, he was also the Sith Lord, Darth Vader. Padmè Amidala was also my great grandmother, she was a queen who fought for justice. Leia Organa is my grandmother and she is the General of the Resistance. Luke Skywalker is my great uncle, he is a powerful Jedi. I am not a Sith Lord nor a Jedi, but I am Bellamy and I can figure out what I am."

Luke nodded his head, his metal hand scratching his beard. "Again." He repeated.

So I said it again.

And again.

Everything was once so vivid, briefly recalled or a simple flash of an old memory but now everything was known. My memories seemed clear, bright as day, startlingly beautiful and cherished.

Whenever I remembered something, I'd write it down quickly so it would not be forgotten. Everyday, Luke and I would go over the pages filled with memories, good and bad. I was able to recall almost everything by the end of the second week.

My fingers delicately touch the fabric of my clothes as I wait patiently in my room. Luke referred to it more as a room instead of a prison cell, I wasn't a person who needed to be behind bars anymore. I neatly placed the strands of my dark hair into a braid, long enough to tickle my back. Luke sat beside me, his hand on my shoulder, easing my nerves.

I was afraid to see him, my brother.

"He is my brother," I keep muttering to myself. "He is my brother. He is my brother. He is my brother."

"Do not be afraid Bellamy," Luke urged. "He has been waiting for this moment his entire life, he is the one who never gave up hope."

"I don't understand?" I remark. "I was nothing but problematic. I destroyed his childhood, toyed with his dream...I'm a monster."

Luke turned to face me. "Remember what we said?"

I nod my head slightly. "I'm putting myself back together because I can, because I will."

"Do not break yourself apart again, this is what we have been working for. Now, say it again. Who are you?"

"My name is Bellamy—"

"Master?" Rey startled us from behind the door. "Jude has arrived, can I send him in?"

My nerves were frayed to the quick. In my building anxiety I constructed elaborate rationalizations for why everything would turn out alright, but still the nagging voice in the back of my mind spoke of nothing but doom ahead.

I shook my head, looking at Luke. "No, I can't do this."

Luke looked at me one last time before telling Rey to open the door. "Let him in." Before I had a chance to snarl at Luke, he slipped past the door and I was left alone for a few seconds.

I walked back and forth, not noticing how small the room was until now. There was a time I fitted in perfectly, not anymore. When my eyes landed to the small window, I wanted to run.

But I've come so far.

How was an ordinary door so hard to look at? It made no sense. I choked down the rising lump in my throat, and consciously flexed my hand, feeling at last the pain of her nails digging into her palm. I rested my fingers on the cool metal of the door handle.

I could open this and run.

My brother beat me to it when the door handle suddenly moved and I jumped backwards, quickly taking large steps to the window. I positioned my body so I would not be able to meet his eyes when he first entered.

"Bellamy?"

Don't let him know how afraid you are. I can't. I have become the young woman I am supposed to be, but that young woman still will never show her acquaintances her fear.

I hear him take a few shuffled steps and I turn around. I didn't realize how glossy my eyes were until I saw his. My breathing hitched and I felt myself grow lightheaded.

Like a timid animal, he reaches out and touches my shoulder, squeezing it when I don't push him back. He looks me in the eye and I see so much hope and fear and thankfulness.

He took a few more slow steps to me and pulled me closer to him wrapping his arms around me. His embrace was warm, and his arms seemed very protective when wrapped around my smaller body. The mistakes I made seemed nonexistent as I stood in my brother's arms. I squeezed him back, not wanting the moment to end, I made it.

"I'm here now," Jude utters out. "I'm not going to let anyone take you away from me again. I'm going to be your brother, even if it takes one step at a time."

I nod my head slightly, still unsure of what to say. Sorry I ruined your life? Sorry I picked our homicidal father over you? Sorry I almost killed you, twice?

"One day, this will all seem like a bad dream," I'm able to say through my tears. "A nightmare that will one day be long forgotten after we both find ways to heal."

"I've missed you so much."

"I know," I choke. "I'm so sorry Jude."

"Don't apologize, it wasn't your fault."

"Partially. I still did what I did and I still terrorized your life. If you can find it within you to forgive me, I shall seem weak to you."

"I forgave you the moment you left with father," He whispers. "And I'll keep forgiving you, because I love you."

I smile slightly, knowing that one day I'll be able to return those words to my brother.

"Uncle Luke asked me to ask you a question, may I?"

I nod my head, parting from his arms and wiping my tears away.

"Who are you? Who am I? What are you going to do?"

I think for a second before standing taller than I have ever before. "My name is Bellamy Solo and you are my twin brother, Jude Solo." I remain poised and calm. "I am here to finish what mother started."

"Me too," Jude almost grins. "A family not torn apart by war."

"So I guess that means we are both here to finish what she started."