Until We Fall (A Before You Exit Fanfic)

CHAPTER 17

                  

I woke up a little earlier than my alarm because I can't really get a decent sleep. My mind has been filled with endless questions and "what if's" and basically everything that went on last night. I looked at my phone and the time says 8:08am. By this time, the guys have already left.

When I unlocked my phone I noticed 3 unread messages, each coming from the guys.

Toby's message read:

Leaving in a bit! See you soon, Alex. We'll keep you posted with everything! Take Care!

Riley's message read:

See you soon! I'll keep my promise :) take care of yourself too and good luck with everything :)

Connor's message was:

Good morning, Alex :) left something for you outside. Thank you for everything and I will see you soon. Don't be so hard on yourself and take a break if you can. I'm only a phone call away.

Out of the 3 messages, I was most confused about Connor's. I immediately stood up and walked towards my apartment door.

Once I opened it, my jaw dropped. It was a guitar case.

I picked it up immediately and set it down on the sofa. I picked up my phone and decided to give Connor a call. When he hasn't picked up after my 3rd attempt at calling him, I just set my phone down and decided to open the case.

When I opened it, I realized it wasn't a new guitar. It's one of his. And it's definitely the guitar I borrowed when we were in Arizona, when I played for him.

I was shocked and at the same time, flattered. I didn't expect to receive something from him, let alone something that he values the most. I remember him telling me this is one of his most prized possessions. I was staring at the guitar and realized that what he gave me last night had a meaning as to why he gave me this guitar.

I held the pendant from the necklace that Connor gave me really tight as I close my eyes, imagining him being here with me. As much as I try to deny it, I can't hide the fact that I miss him so much already.

I realized that there are already tears forming in my eyes and I became frazzled as my phone rang. It's him.

"Connor?" I asked, not bothering to state a greeting.

"Good morning, sunshine." I can practically feel him smiling through his voice. "Sorry I wasn't able to pick up earlier."

I smiled even though he can't see me. Just hearing his voice makes my heart melt and shatter, at the same time. "You didn't have to give me this." I said, touching the guitar lightly.

It took him a while before speaking up again. "I knew you'd say that. But I want to give it to you. I want you to have a piece of me... while I'm gone." Now I can feel the sadness in his voice.

"Connor..." was all I can say.

"You don't have to say anything, Alex. I really meant to give it to you. Take care of it, okay?" He said, pausing. "Plus, you need a decent guitar. At least when you play it, you can think of me."

I smiled at the thought. "Thank you."

"It's my pleasure. Hey, I have to go. Riley's making me switch with him in driving the car. I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay. Take care. Say hi to them for me." I said before hanging up.

Instead of playing with the guitar, I just decided to hug it for a while, crying as I think about Connor and I and what happened last night. I've hurt him so many times yet he still chose to stay. He still chose to look out for me. Am I doing the right thing by gradually letting him go? Or am I just hurting him and myself?