When Does the Pretending End?

Chapter 39- Do You Ever Feel Guilty?

  Lucy's Pov

"Lucy, Lucy, wake up" someone says shaking my shoulders and I sit up in the bed. It was so real I breathing fast and hard. Why won't they stop? "Are you ok?" Cristiano asks looking into my eyes. I nod not trusting my voice. It looked so real.

"What were you dreaming about?" he asks. "It doesn't matter" I say managing to find my voice. "It does if it upsets you so much you have a nightmare" he says. "It was nothing just drop it" I say. He begins to speak again but i put my hand on his mouth. "Just leave it please Cris" I say and lay down again. I can't talk about. I just can't I think as he wraps the covers over me. His hand is close and I pull it towards me. He sighs and snuggles against me rubbing his hand over my stomach and I relax. I haven't had that bad of a nightmare in a while. I glad he didn't push me to talk.

"Earth to Lucy" Josh says waving his hand in front of me. "Hey Josh" I say focusing on him. "You looked a million miles from here" he says. "Sometimes I wish I was" I say. "I'm sorry Tina wouldn't see you this weekend" he says. "Me too" I say turning to face the window. "You missed all the fun yesterday. We Dad got out the photo albums" Josh says. I think back to my day yesterday and the small lion toy sitting on the bedside table at Cristiano's. I think I had all the fun Josh I think.

"Do you ever feel guilty?" I ask Josh. "You can't stop living your life" he says placing a file on my desk. "I better go I have a meeting with Mr. Aneglo" I say after I notice the time. "Ok see you later" he says heading out the door. Can't stop living your life is easier said than done.

Back again I think walking through the door at Angelo's. The restaurant is full as the lunch rush is in full swing. Why we have a meeting at lunch time I don't know. "Lucy so lovely to see" Mr. Aneglo says kissing both of my cheeks. "Hello Mr. Angelo" I say. "Come let's sit" he says guiding to me to a corner table. "This is my grandson Marco" he says of the man sitting at the table. "Cio bella" Marco says placing a kiss on my hand. "Hello" I say. Why is he here? "Marco will be joining us today" Mr.Aneglo says. "That's if you don't mind" Marco laughs. "No I don't mind at all" I say. Soon we are eating and discussing marketing options for the restaurant. Marco is sweet. In his late 20s and certainly likes to touch as his hand as been on mine every opportunity he got. I laugh politely at his stories. I notice Cristaino and his family are sitting near my table. I excuse myself from the table when Mr. Angelo arrives back at the table having left to check something in the kitchen.

"Hello everybody" I say when I reach Cristiano's table. "Hi Lucy. Would you like to join us?" Dolores asks. "I would but I'm having at meeting. And cross your fingers it will be the last one" I say. "Whose the hot guy?" Elma asks me but her eyes are on Cristaino's face. "Marco the owners' grandson. I can introduce you if you like. He's single apparently" I say. Although I think Elma could do better. The guy is totally in love with himself I think. "How can a guy like him be single" Elma says grinning at Cristiano. "I don't know. Anyway I just came over to say hi. I'll see ye back at the house" I say and I walk back to my table.

"Hi where is everyone?" I ask nothing Cristiano was the only one in the living room when I got back to the house. "Máe's gone for a lie down. Katia and her boys are gone out for the day and Elma has gone to the shop. Hopefully she'll won't be able to find her way back for a couple of hours" he says. Oh no Elma's stirring things. "Sister annoying you" Lucy I say taking off my shoes. "When isn't she? You look happier than you did this morning" he says. "Well I just had my last meeting at Angelo's. I guess this means I have to pay for my lunch now" I say sitting down beside him. I don't want to talk about my nightmare.

"I'm sure the grandson would buy you lunch anytime" he says. Where did that come from I think. "What has you in such a bad mood?" I ask. "I'm not in a bad mood" he says getting off the couch. "You should learn to ignore Elma" I say following him into the kitchen.
"Or maybe I should try to shut her up" he says and then his hands are around my waist and he's pushing me against the back of the couch. "What are you doing" i gasp. "This" he says and his mouth covers mine. His lips are firm, hot and demanding and I pull at his shirt. The next thing I know his hand was in running up my back and into my hair. Oh why does he have to be such a good kisser o think as our lips keep touching. His hand moves down along my body and I gasp when he touches my skin before pulling it around his waist. I hear Elma speak and I quickly drop my leg onto the ground and push him away from me. "I'm going to get changed" I say not looking at either Cristiano or Elma and I head upstairs.

Why did I let him kiss me? He acts like an idiot talking about Marco and then he kisses me. My head hurts I think running my hand through my now dishevelled hair. "Hey" Cristiano says grinning at the door. "What the hell was that?" I ask looking at him in the mirror. "Thought I'd shut Elma up" he says. "Plus you enjoyed that" he says coming closer to me.

"One" I say turning to face him. "If you want to shut your sister up then tell don't use me" I say and "Two. I didn't enjoy it" I say heading to the bathroom. "One. You said I could kiss you in front of my family since you are meant to be my girlfriend and two you looked like you were enjoying yourself" he says wrapping his arms around my waist. "In your dreams" I say pulling away from him to look for my make-up bag to get some pain killers. He laughs. "Your cranky when you don't get enough sleep" he says. "And you're a jackass who can't deal with his sister's teasing" I say.

"Hey you don't have a sister so you can't talk to me about family" he shouts as I open my make-up bag. And let the contents fall on the floor.