When Does the Pretending End?

Chapter 77- Still Sorry

  Cristiano's Pov

As I lay on her couch, my mind goes round and round with tonight's events. I never meant to upset Lucy. She's hurting. I hate this. How can she blame herself for Tina? How can she think she is like her mother? I flick through the channels on her TV. I can't sleep. Especially since I know she is only through one of those doors and I can't be there for her to comfort her.

I hear a noise and look up. "Hey" I say to her as she stands at the door. "It's late" she says. "I didn't wake you with the TV" I say. "No. I was awake" she says moving closer to me. She looks tired.
"You ok?" I ask. She holds out her hand to me. "The couch might not be that comfy. Don't want Fergie annoyed with me cos your back is at you" she says. Am I hearing her correctly? She does want me to come with her right?

"Wouldn't want that now would we" I say throwing the blanket off me and follow her into her bedroom. I smile. "What?" she asks. "You have a lovely room" I say as I look around the purple room filed with pictures. "Thanks" she says getting into the bed.

As she lies on her side facing me with her eyes closed, I move my hand towards her face. "Don't" she says her eyes still closed. I sigh. "Just because you are here doesn't mean I'm not angry at you" she says. "I know" I say. She turns to face the other wall.

"None of this is your fault" I say. She says nothing. "You are not responsible for Tina doing drugs. I wish you would understand that" I say. "Then why don't I feel that" she says rolling over onto her back.

"Because you are a good friend. Because you are a lovely sweet, caring person" I say. "Ya right" she says.

"Who's Mark?" I ask. "My old boyfriend" she says. "Josh said he was a piece of shit. Why?" I ask. "Why do you care?" she asks. "Why don't you answer my question" I ask. "I thought Elena told you not to piss me off anymore" she says. "You know I'm not good at listening" I say. "We dated for nearly two years. Then one day I came back to his place to find him in bed with his ex-girlfriend. Hence why Josh think's he's a piece of shit" she says.

"And people think I'm an idiot" I mumble. How could someone leave Lucy? "That's because you are. Well most of the time" she says. Thanks I think. "When did ye break up?" I ask. "March" she says. "And you haven't dated anyone since" I ask. "No. Anyway I have enough trouble with a fake boyfriend. The last thing I need is a real one" she says.

"It's late. Just go to sleep" she says. "I am sorry Lucy" I say. "I know" she says. "Be mad at me. Throw pillows at me, don't talk to me. Just don't hate me" I say.

I feel her head rest on my chest and I move my arm around her back. "I don't hate you" she says.

Thank God.

When I wake in the morning, I smile at the sight of Lucy still in my arms. She is laying on her back with her head on my chest. My arm resting on her stomach. The alarm rings and she stirs. I quickly turn it off. "Morning" I say. She pulls the covers over her head. "Why did you set the alarm so early" I ask. "Cos you have training" she says.

"I like your bed" I say. "I prefer yours" she mumbles under the covers. "This one is nicer" I say. "It's a bed" she mutters. "Sure it's not your pillow you like" I say. "What can I say you have nice abs" she mumbles. "You think my abs are hot" I say. She pulls the cover from over her head. "I said nice not hot" she says and sits up. "We should get up" she says suddenly. "Ok" I say. "I'm still angry" she says. "I'm still sorry" I say.

As she gets ready for work, I head to her kitchen. I can't get my head around last night. It's all so confusing. She's angry with me yet when she woke this morning I could tell she liked been with me. I watch as she walks over to the fridge. I sit at the table watching her pour some juice into a glass. I try to think what to say to her.

"You look nice" I say. "Thanks. I haven't worn it in ages" she says not looking at me. "Not since the day of Tina's incident" I say and her head flips up. "What are your plans for today" I ask. "Work. And I somehow have to explain to Matt what you were doing in my office yesterday" she says.

"What are you going to say?" I ask. She shrugs. "I'll think of something. It would be a lot easier if you hadn't kissed me yesterday" she says. "Why did you do that?" she asks. It's my turn to shrug. I can't tell her that I didn't like to see her with that guy.

"I was just trying to be nice by bringing you lunch. Plus Hugo was annoying me" I say changing the subject. "Well next time think before you do something" she says. "Next time. I thought you were done" I say. "I haven't decided yet" she says.

"At least Josh is happy that you and me are fake" I say. She laughs. "For the last time Josh and I are friends. Have been and will always be just friends" she says.

"Ya right" I say. "You're going to be late for training" she says heading towards her bedroom. "I'm going" I say.

"For the record" she says turning around to face me. "You are more Josh's type than I am" she says. "I don't understand" I say.

"Josh is gay" she says and heads to her bedroom.