Let Me Save You

Chapter 12

"Ugh. Fine." I grumbled to myself as I hopped into the bathroom. Yes, hopped. I had to because Bret didn't being up my crutches. Why? I have no idea, but it would be a hell of a lot easier if he would have.

I closed the door, and locked it behind me. I have a bad habit. I told my parents that I stopped, but I haven't. They wouldn't notice anyway. The only person I care that sees it Bret.

I undressed as best I could with a cast on, and grabbed my old friend from the drawer. I was breathing steadily, which is a bit weird since I haven't done this in a long time. I looked at my little, glowing friend lying easily in my hand. Cold, but welcoming.

I looked at myself in the full body mirror that was on the back of the bathroom door, quickly regretting it. Yeah, I have scars, but everyone at school is right. I'm fat, huge, or whatever else they can think of. This is all to much to handle. 

I just stand there, looking over every single inch of me. My arm, thighs, stomach, everything. I just stand there, disgusted. "Why can't I be one of those cute skinny girls, that have the boy of their dreams? Why can't I go out shopping and finally get what I want, and it looks good?" I can't look at myself anymore. I go and sit on the side of the tub, and turn on the water. For this, it has to be nice and warm. I get my leg a little wet, so this will be a little easier.

"Back to the dark." I whispered to myself as the cold razor glides with ease over my damp skin. I sigh with relief as the cool, dark blood runs down my thigh. "Thighs are too big." One slash. "Arms are flabby." Second slash. "Fat gut that no one should see, and that's why you wear nothing but shitty clothes all the time." Slash, after slash, after slash. Soon, my thigh had more than I could even count.

"Now, I can shower." 

I grab the plastic bag that was on the tub with me, and stick my casted foot into it. "This is just great." I tied it the best I could, and stood in the tub. I set my razor onto the ledge in the shower, and pull the curtain from the back, to the front. I pulled the nob on the fosset, and the water rained down on me. It felt amazing. 

As I shampooed and conditioned, and soapy water dripped on to my thigh, and bit my lip, trying to sustain me from hissing in pain. I continued to wash up, until I was fully clean.

I turned the water off, grabed the razor, and stepped out. The cool air hitting me like a ton of bricks. I quickly went over to the sink, and grabbed two towles, while putting the little weapon in its hiding place. It doesn't want to be seen. I bend over, and wrap the thin towel on my hair, and then rise again to wrap the much larger towel over my body. 

I step out of the hallway and into my room, just as I was getting ready to close the door, I heard Bret call my name. 

"What?"

"Get ready, we have to go to the store, there is absolutely nothing in your fridge!" 

Of course. Not even before my parents left, they didn't even care to leave me anything. Not like I would have ate any of it anyway..

"Okay." I reply a little lower than expected, and I closed my door.