Let Me Save You

Chapter 31

We pulled up in front of a big, white, one floored building. "Alright Emily, lets grab your things and go inside." I didn't say anything, just nodded and got out of the car. Two nurses from the hospital took me in, right to the front desk. 

"Hi, are you Emily?" The woman asked, smiling at me and then looking at the computer screen. Once again, no words came out of my mouth, instead I nodded again. "Alright, well your room is C38 and there will be two people in there to check your bags." I nodded, the nurses walked out of the building, and I went down the hall, making two right turns. 

I opened the door and when I walked in a man and a woman were standing in the room with gloves on. "Hello, what is your name?" The man asked. I had this planned out, I wrote my name down on a sticky note. I'm not speaking to anyone, at least not now. I just don't want to. "Okay, so Emily I want you to set your bags and purse on the bed please." I did as told. "Now, you can either go look around or stay here. We are just here to make sure you don't have anything that you could possibly hurt yourself with. If there is any medication that you need on a daily basis, we give that to our nurse and she holds on to all of it." I nodded again and walked out. 

Maybe I can speak to the workers here.. I just don't want to talk to friends or family at the moment. I walked down some halls, and saw some people. They said hi to me, and I replied back. This one girl caught my eye though. She had red, short, curly hair and some tattoos. Almost like the nurse at the hospital. "Hey, I'm Stephanie but you can call me Stef for short." She smiled. "Hi, I'm Emily." I waved awkwardly, then looked at the ground out of embarrassment. "So, why are you here?" She broke the silence and made me look up. "I tried to kill myself and I guess that's a 'no no'." She chuckled a little bit, her laugh being music to my ears. "What are you in here for?" I asked back, being a little curious. "I have an eating disorder." Oh. "Oh." I spoke aloud. "I thought this was a place for the people who struggle with self harm and suicide." "Yeah it is, but it's also for eating disorders, severe depression, and stuff like that.." She trailed off until she spoke some more. "So, do you wanna see my room? Now that we talked if you ever need something I'm down the hall." She smiled at me and I agreed to see her room. 

She opened the door, letting me step in first. "I can tell that you're new here. I promise that it's not scary here at all. We still have some freedom, you know?" I nodded, and she sat me down on the bed. "Did they tell you that you won't be able to shave your legs?" I looked at her, shocked. "What? That's bullshit." I folded my arms. "Hun, I didn't make the rules." She bent down, grabbing something from her purse. "Want one?" She handed me a cigarette. "I'm only sixteen though, and I have never done it before." I turned the cancer stick in my hands, contemplating. "It doesn't matter to me, I though that you might need one for your nerves." She shrugged her shoulders and took out her lighter. "Yeah, I'll have it." She nodded and grabbed one for herself. She lit her's and gave me the lighter.

 I didn't cough as much as I thought and I quickly got used to them. We ended up smoking two packs. I honestly didn't give a damn last night, and I might just do the same again. I told her I had some cash on me and would by her new packs. She tried to refuse but it was the least I could offer. Now, we just have to see if she can get a ride or not. 

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"Emily, it's time for your first group meeting." A gentle knock was at the door, and I looked at my alarm clock that was in my room. 7 o'clock? "Emily." The voice spoke again. "I heard you, I'm getting ready now." I pulled myself out of bed, and made my way to the dresser. "Okay, be in the meeting room in fifteen minutes. You do know where that is, right?" I was able to get dressed and pull up my hair quick enough so that I was ready to go before she left. I opened my door. "No I don't, but would you show me?" She smiled, leading the way down the hall. We only took three turns and we were there. "Go ahead and take a seat, I need to make sure everyone else is up." With that, I opened the door, made my way to a seat, and sat down. I kept to myself for the next ten minutes until it actually begun.

"Okay, so I want everyone to meet Emily. She has only been her a couple days, and still isn't adjusted yet." I received a chorus of 'hi's' and some waves. "So Emily, basically what we do here is talk about what we have been feeling lately, and we talk about others in the group. Positive and negative. Also, you can't speak until you have the wand." She pulled out a long narrow stick with a fuzzy thing at the end, almost like a cat toy. "Okay." I said, and pulled my legs to my chest. "Who would like to go first?" She asked, and only one girl raised her hand. "Okay Casandra, you're up first." Cassandra grabbed the wand and played with the fuzz at the end. "Paige. I love you with all my heart and I know that you are- wait. Emily, how old are you?" She stopped talking and directly looked at me. "Sixteen." "Okay, thank you. Paige I love you and know that you are the youngest here but to me it feels like you don't want to get better. It's like you refuse help and that bothers me a lot because you are so young and have your whole life a head of you. I think you need to swallow your pride, and take the help that is given to you." Paige looked like she was getting ready to cry. She simply got up, and left the room. "Girls, we will get back to this tomorrow. Sorry." The lead woman said, leaving the room. I'm guessing she is going to see if Paige is alright. 

This is so fucking stupid why the hell am I even here. 'Oh no she tried to kill herself you better lock her up, or she could really do some damage!' Like, please. I would be better off being anywhere but here.