Broken||M.C

*Thirty*

//Sweet boy. Even though this book is kinda sad for the time being, I'll still post cute gifs of Mikey to balance it all out\\

Avery

It had been two weeks. Two weeks, but it felt like an eternity. Dad was better and had started back to work, I wasn't working for the band anymore. I just said that it was because I needed to be with my family more. No one in management had known about Michael and I, so there was no need in even bringing it out now. 

I went back to work at the music store. Life just wasn't it worth it to me anymore. It was like I was numb to the world and everything about it. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. All I could do was replay that last day over and over in my head. He hadn't said he loved me back, did that mean he had never loved me anyway? Did he just not care? So many things went through my head and I just wanted it all to go away.

"Hey, Avery." Ragan said. "Can you help me?"

She was stocking some CDs and needed me to help her. I walked over and grabbed some out of the box and started stocking them on the shelf. She made small talk and I just listened to her. I didn't talk much anymore, I just didn't have anything to say. I felt so empty inside.

"Umm..Avery." 

Ragan looked at me with a half shocked/half scared look on her face.

"You're bleeding." She said.

I looked down and blood was trickling down my arm. I had scraped it on the shelf, but I hadn't even felt it. I wiped it with my hand, before it could get on my shirt and then I went to the bathroom and wiped it off. 

I looked at myself in the mirror. The bags under my eyes had gotten worse, because I never slept. In addition to having dreams about my father beating me, I had them about Michael. One in particular that I kept having, was Michael and I holding hands and walking down the street. It was dark and he smiled at me, he tried to kiss me, but every time he did there would be a gun shot and then I woke up. Now even my favorite band could comfort me, because whenever I heard his voice, I would cry and the pain in my chest would become almost unbearable, as if my heart was literally being ripped in two. 

I walked out of the bathroom and Ragan was standing behind the counter. I hadn't told her any of this. I didn't want to burden her with my pain, and I really just didn't want to talk about it at all.

"I'm worried about you." She said.

"I'm fine. It was just a scrape."

"No, not that. You. Ever since you broke up with Michael, you've been different. You haven't said anything, but I know you're hurting. Why won't you talk to me?"

"I'm fine. I can handle this."

"No, you can't. What just happened, with your arm, it's not normal. Most people know when they cut themselves, but you didn't even notice it until I said something. It's like your numb to everything."

Well she wasn't wrong. I was numb to everything. Nothing fazed me anymore. It was like I was just a walking corpse. I never laughed or smiled, I didn't even cry anymore. But I didn't know what to tell her. The truth is what she wanted, but I just didn't think I was ready for that, I didn't think that I ever would be.

"Look, right now I can't talk about it. I feel like my heart is being ripped out of me and there's nothing I can do about it. When the only person you have truly ever loved with your whole heart, leaves you like that, it's the worst pain in the whole world and part of me wishes that I could just die. Becuase death would be better than the pain I'm feeling right now."

Ragan didn't say anything. She just pulled me close into a hug and for the first time in almost two weeks, I cried. I cried and cried until they finally dried up again. I was just glad no one came into the store at the moment, because that would've just been awkward.

We pulled away from each other and I wiped my eyes with the hem of my shirt. Thankfully it was black, so I wouldn't have to worry about mascara stains. But in reality, that was the last thing on my mind.

"Look, I know it's gonna take some time, but I'm here for you no matter what."

"Thanks, I appreciate." I said.

We finished stocking the shelves and it was closing time. I got in my car and drove home. As I got closer to the house, I noticed a car out front and a man leaning against it. I felt a chill over my body as I recognized the man. It was my sorry excuse for a father. He was the last person on this whole earth that I wanted to see. I pulled into the driveway and parked the car. I got out and walked to him.

"Hey, Avery." He said.

"Hi." I said.

"How are you?" He asked.

"You don't wanna know. What are you doing here?"  I asked.

"Just came to see how you were. Haven't heard from you in a while."

I crossed my arms as anger raged inside me and I had to resist the urge to choke him. I tried to stay calm, but it was a struggle.

"You wanna know how I've been doing? Well I'll tell you. Like crap, no, worse than that. Because of you, the man that I love left me. So once again you are the reason that I'm hurting, you're the reason for all of my pain."

By now I was practically yelling at him, but he just had a stupid grin on his face. Like he was happy, satisfied that once again, he had broken me.

"It can't be that bad. Besides if that boy really loved you, he would've stayed."

"It's because he loved me that he left."

"I was just trying to protect you. He seemed like trouble."

"He was far from that. He is a better man then you will ever be." I said.

"Oh such harsh words, and to your own father. I'm ashamed of your behavior."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. It was like this was all a game to him. Like torturing me and putting me through pain, was enjoyable to him.

"And I actually thought that you had changed." I said.

"Now, you know just as well as I do that people never change."

"Can you just please leave me alone. Haven't you ruined my life enough?" 

I was practically begging him to go away, but I didn't care. I was so tired of him, he was the reason I was the way I was. I could never forgive him for that.

"I suppose. At least I'll know your safe now, but this won't be the last time you see me. I'll be around."

He got into his car and drove off. I ran into the house and straight up to my room. I laid across my bed and clutched my pillow in my arms, squeezing it to death. I wanted to cry, but the tears just wouldn't come. No matter how hard I tried to cry, I just couldn't.

Then I didn't something that I hadn't done in weeks. I walked to my dresser and opened a drawer. I pulled out a red flannel, it had once belonged to Michael. I had forgotten that I even had it. I took it out and walked to my bed. I wrapped myself in it and laid down. It still smelled like him, and I closed my eyes as I laid there. Then the tears finally came and they didn't stop until I had drifted off to sleep.

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So I'm currently tearing up at this. Like sometimes I feel like this, so I can relate and that's why it's painful for me. Anyways, enough of that. Please like this and comment and well, you know the drill. Love youuu!