Broken||M.C

*Thirty-Two*

//This is such a good song. Omg I love it\\

Avery

As planned, Ragan came over and we had a pizza and Netflix party. It was honestly so fun. We laughed, we cried and it was the first time since all of this had happened that I felt happy.

"Oh my gosh, you have to listen to this song." Ragan said pulling up a song on her phone.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Hang on, I'm gonna pull it up."

She pulled up YouTube and then typed the song in. She handed the phone to me and it started playing.

"Little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep, little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories."

The lyrics hit me right in the heart. I paused it and handed the phone back to her. I just looked up at her with tears in my eyes.

"Avery, I'm such a jerk. I don't know why I showed that song to you. I should've known better."

"It's okay. Guess it's gonna take longer than I thought."

"Yeah, but it'll get better." She said.

I nodded and looked down. She hugged me and a tear escaped my eye.

"Well, I guess I better get going. I gotta open up tomorrow." She said.

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

I walked her to the door and opened it for her. She hugged me again.

"Thanks, Ragan." I said.

"Anytime dude."

She walked out the door and got into her car. I closed the door back and cleaned up our mess. I walked up to my room and laid across my bed. The song lyrics kept playing over and over in my head. I couldn't get them out.

I looked over in the corner of my room. My camera bag was sitting there. I noticed something poking out of it and I got up to go see what it was. When I pulled it out, I saw that it was the book I had been working on. The one for Michael. It was half full of pictures of he and I and some of just him.

I sat back down on my bed and looked through it. Most of them were of just him alone. Like ones that I had snapped while they were rehearsing or on stage, or even when we had gone out on off days and walked around the cities.

He was smiling in almost all of them, which made me smile. Beside each picture I had written down either a reason why I loved him or a reason that he was special. I wanted him to be reminded of it, he needed to know how much he was loved.

I closed the book and put it on my bookshelf. I grabbed his flannel and wrapped myself up in it and laid on my bed. I wanted to call him so bad. I just wanted to know how he was doing. I needed to hear his voice.

I picked up my phone, took a shaky breath and then called him. As it rang I could feel my heart beat pounding against my chest. A thousand thoughts raced through my mind.

Like, what if he didn't want to talk to me? What if he was angry that I called? Or he might not even answer at all.

It kept ringing and then his voicemail picked up. I hung up the phone and just put it back down. I wrapped myself up tighter in his flannel and slowly drifted off to sleep.

--------

I decided to walk to work today. It was nice outside and it was only a 15 minute walk from my house to the store, which I didn't think was bad.

I walked into the store, Ragan was standing behind the counter and she smiled when I walked in.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey."

I walked to the back and clocked in. I walked back up to the front and walked to the back of the counter with Ragan.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" I asked.

"Guess we'll finish up stocking that shelf and then that'll be it."

"Okay, I'll do that if you wanna take care of customers."

"Sure." She said.

I walked over to the shelf and started stocking CDs. Truth was, I just didn't feel like talking to people. Last night had been rough. I had the dream about Michael getting shot again, and then I couldn't fall back to sleep after that. So I looked and felt like crap. I didn't feel like dealing with people today.

The store wasn't too busy though, which was good. For me at least. Once I finished stocking shelves, I walked back over to the counter with Ragan. She was busy scrolling through her phone.

She gasped and covered her hand with her mouth.

"Ragan what is it?" I asked.

She looked up at me, like she hadn't expected me to be there.

"Oh, nothing."

She locked her phone and put it back in her pocket.

"Nothing? You looked pretty shocked for it to be nothing."

"Oh well, it's just that my cousin's dog died. She loved that dog."

"Aww that's sad. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, she'll be fine." She said.

For the rest of the day, Ragan was on edge. Like she was hiding something. She jumped at everything I said and every now and then I saw her being sneaky on her phone, like she didn't want me to know that she was on it.
I didn't know what was going on, but it was weird.

Since she had opened for me, I was closing for her. She left, and I closed up. I started my walk home. Today had been one of the bad days, but I still went on social media. I didn't get on it much anymore. But I decided to just check it out for a little while, just while I walked home.

I was just casually scrolling through Twitter when I saw something. It was picture of Michael, but he wasn't alone. He was with a girl, and they were holding hands.

I just stared at the picture. Something inside me literally felt like it broke. I don't know how to even describe it, but my chest hurt so much that it was almost numb. The world felt like it was spinning. The last thing I remember was falling onto the ground.

---------

OMG MICHAEL WHY??? I just don't understand who writes stuff like this, I mean come on!
LOL! Sorry guys, I know that was rough but I had to add it in. Also that song, Little Do You Know, it's like one of my favs atm like I love it so much! Check it out if you haven't already.
PLZ vote and comment. Love youuu❤️