It's Always Been You

Chapter Two; Toxic

Each month, Peeta and I are hauled out to the Capitol for an interview with Caesar Flickerman. We have been attending every month for the past year, since the games.

The sole purpose of the interview is to catch up with us; make sure we're still alive. Make sure we are still hopelessly, madly in love, and every month, we are still continuing the lie. Almost every interview is the same. Caesar asks us about when we're getting married, I show him my engagement ring, and Peeta and I make out on the stage.

My tiny, tight black dress clings to my skin, making me completely uncomfortable. My breasts are almost completely exposed, and I'm afraid that if I bend over, you'll be able to see my black, lacy thong. Now that Peeta and I are marrying, the Capitol wants to go for the 'sexy' look. My shoes are well over five inches tall, and I can barely walk in them without holding onto Peeta's arm. As for makeup, I've never seen myself wear this much; not even during the interviews for the games. I suppose I do look sexy, if referring to the stereotypical Capitol look. My hair is slicked back, with the ends dipped in washable red paint for effect and a pop of color.

I shift in the couch, sitting Peeta and I. It's very small, forcing us to touch as much as possible. My bare legs are against his skin, and from the angle we are at, he can stare directly down at my breasts. He has his arm around me, holding my tightly against him. The two of us are used to this affection on camera. At first, I couldn't bare the uncomfortableness, but now, I'm used to it. I don't mind it, and  sometimes, it even soothes me.

"Well, well, Ms. Everdeen." Caesar says, shooting me a wide smile. "You look marvelous tonight. Just stunning!" The crowd roars in excitement and I smile, waving my hand to thank them sweetly.

"Thank you, Caesar." I smile widely, and Peeta rubs my thigh with his thumb, making circular motions. I lean into him, resting my head in the crook of his neck, trying to show as much affection as possible. "Cinna, my stylus always has the most wonderful outfits for me. I absolutely adore every one of them." I say enthusiastically, and the crowd goes wild. It's a lie. Cinna and I both hate the skanky outfits I'm forced to wear, but Cinna always tells me that he tries to make it most appealing to the eye. I wish I could tell the whole Capitol how much I hate every aspect of it, but instead I sit here, hating what I wear and hating the life I am forced to live.

"Peeta, you also look wonderful. You look very happy this evening." Peeta turns my head towards him, and presses his lips to mine. It's unexpected, and I don't understand, but I go on with it, kissing him passionately and then pulling away with a smile. People shriek from the audience, some of the dramatic ones even pretend to faint. I chuckle slightly to myself as I watch the chaos. God, why do they care so much?

Peeta clears his throat, adjusting himself. "Well, Caesar. I have been the happiest man in the world for the past year." A smile creeps upon Caesars lips, and he motions for Peeta to continue. "I am marrying the love of my life in less than a month, and I couldn't be happier."

The crowd screams again, and I look out into it, smiling and nodding as I press my hand to Peeta's chest, looking towards him and crashing my lips to his, gliding my tongue along the bottom of his lip and asking for entrance. He accepts almost immediately, and we stay just like that for minutes, listening to the crowd roar.

"Well, well." Caesar says laughing. "Hello there?"

Peeta pulls away first, smirking at me. "Gosh, Caesar, I'm sorry. I just get lost in her so quickly, sometimes I forget that were in public."

"Oh, that's quite alright." He chirps, stiffening himself in his chair. "I just wanted to ask one more question before we let the two of you go tonight."

"What's that?" I grin, straightening my dress with my hands and sitting up straight.

"Some people in the Capitol have been wondering, and quite frankly, so have I. I can't lie to you..." He laughs, his smile showing every single one of his teeth. "So, Katniss and Peeta, is Katniss pregnant? And if not, when do the two of you plan on starting your family?"

The subject of children is toxic to me. I know that eventually, Peeta and I will have children. That is the only way we can continue this lie. I'm on this ride for the rest of my life, and I'm well aware the fact that no matter how terrified or stubborn I am, I must have children.

I knock myself out of my daze, giggling. "No, I'm not pregnant yet, Caesar, it's definitely just all of the cheese buns Peeta makes me."

"Aw, I love it! The girl on fire is always cracking jokes." He says loudly. "When do you think you'll have children?"

Peeta squeezes my arm, indicating that he has an answer. It's become our 'code' for the other person having a relevant answer to whatever ridiculous question Caesar has to ask us. "Well, Katniss and I have done a lot of talking, and we'd like to wait until we are married for a few months. We'd like to be able to get used to the whole married life before rushing into having children. Right now, Katniss is the only person I need in my life, and with the reaping just around the corner, I want to learn the ways of mentoring before we get into having children."

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The wine at the dinner table is the only reason I keep my mouth shut, the only reason I smile, and the only reason I carry on a conversation. Peeta shoots me a look of disapproval every time Haymitch pours me another glass. I think together, Haymitch and I have probably drank about three bottles of wine in one sitting. Though, the wine isn't strong. I need a lot of it to make me forget all of the events of the day.

I pull at the dress I have to wear until we enter the train. Peeta sits next to me, rubbing my leg every time I sigh. I'm on the verge of tears, just wanting to get this dinner over with so I can go back to bed and cover myself.

The only good part of this monthly dinner is the food. After a long night of lying to Caesar and all of Panem, I can finally sit down and eat my favorite meal, lamb stew with dried plumbs. God, for as much as I hate the Capitol, I love the food.

As soon as the agonizing dinner is over, I give Cinna, Portia, and Effie a hug, and Peeta, Haymitch and I are sent to the train to District 12 that we'll be on for the night.

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I lay in my bed, staring at the intricate designs on the ceiling. I wipe the single tears falling from my eyes with the smooth, silk robe I am wearing. I hear Peeta's shower from the other room, and I am tempted to go lay in his bed. I'd feel safer, more protected, but I seldom get nights alone. For as much as I want to live with my mother and Prim again, I dread the nights I don't have Peeta's strong arms around me.

When I finally find sleep, I am woken by terrifying nightmares of Peeta being taken, Prim being reaped for the games, and my father being blown into nothing in the mine explosion.

I'm soaked in my own sweat, tears pouring down my face as I scream and gasp for air. That's when I see Peeta's silhouette in the darkness of the room.

"I'm okay." I finally choke, catching my breath. "It was just another nightmare. I'm sorry." I whisper.

"It's okay." Peeta whispers, nodding his head. I watch as he turns to leave, but I stop him.

"Peeta, will you stay with me?" I ask, my voice shaken and tense.

He turns back around, crawling into bed with me and wrapping his arms around me like at home. I nestle my head into the crook of his neck, and he strokes my hair gently. It's soothing.

"Always," he whispers, as I doze back into a peaceful sleep.

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A/N:
I loved writing this chapter! I hope you enjoyed! Be sure to vote and comment!