It's Always Been You

Chapter Nineteen; Home

Zane is dead.

He walked right into the bloodbath, where Acacia and Taj had formed an alliance right away. They're still there, but I watch as little as possible. I try to forget what Acacia has done. I try to forget the horrifying images of her plunging knives into Zane's stomach as Taj skinned him alive. She once told me she didn't want to put on a show for them, but after she got a hold of her knives at the cornucopia, I am certain she was lying. Perhaps District 12 will have a winner. Maybe Peeta and I won't have to mentor anymore. She's gotten five sponsors already. Most packages consisted of food. One even had a sharp knife in it. It must've cost a fortune. I now understand Acacia's strategy for acting so against the games. She's rolling in sponsors and giving herself an even bigger advantage.

The games have been going on for fifteen days so far, and there are only three tributes left; Acacia, Taj, and a thirteen year old from district 1. The word has gotten around that I'm pregnant. I'm not surprised. I've used my pregnancy as an excuse for not leaving my room much. I've told everyone that I have painful back pain and nausea that I just can't seem to shake. It is not questioned by anyone, considering I'm carrying the world's favorite baby. President Snow asked me to a meeting a few days ago, and he made it clear that I must come to the Capitol every month for a check up. We can't risk having an unhealthy baby.

I pick at some blueberries on my plate almost falling asleep, but Peeta comes in. "Hey," he murmurs, sitting next to me. "Can I get you something more for dinner? There's some soup and different types of meats. I can even get you some desert if you want."

"I'm fine," I say, deflation in my voice. I lay back onto the bed, but Peeta pulls me back up, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"You need to eat, Katniss." He says. "It's not just you were worrying about anymore. I hate acting like this, but we have to think about the baby."

"Okay," I whisper, giving in to his stubbornness. I know that if I don't eat, he'll end up getting mad at me. "Can I just have a pastry of some sort? I don't care what it is."

Peeta grins, nodding. "Yeah, just give me a few minutes. I'll tell everyone that you don't feel well and need me with you." He pats me on the back, leaving me alone again. I lean back, playing with the silky quilt on the bed as I wait for Peeta. I bite my lip, placing my hand on my bare abdomen. I press down slightly on the tender skin, not knowing what I expect to happen. I always seem to forget that there is a tiny human growing inside of me. When the thought of pregnancy would be mentioned, I'd just blow it off. I've never really thought about it. What will this baby look like? Will it have Peeta's gorgeous blue eyes or my dull gray ones? What will we call him or her? I wonder if they'll love me. Probably not. I'd be a horrible mother. Peeta is the responsible one here... I wonder when I will have the baby.

"Hey, Katniss..." I hear Peeta say from the doorway. I sit up, to see a distressed look on his face. "Um, I don't know how to tell you this."

He doesn't have to tell me. I already know. "She's dead." I whisper. He nods slowly, coming to my side. He sits down, looking at the ground.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks solemnly.

I shake my head. "Who won?"

"The 13 year old boy from District 1. Acacia killed Taj with one of her knives but she was no match for the boy. She just wasn't strong enough."

I nod, biting my lip so hard I draw blood. I don't know how I feel. I hadn't thought about Acacia much, because when the games started, I confirmed that she was evil. I just assumed from the get go she was coming home with us, and she was going to win. I hadn't thought I'd have to mourn her like I mourned Zane, but now, I'm not even saddened or angry. I'm simply worn out. "We're going home." I whisper, a hint of relief in my voice. Peeta grabs my hand, pressing it against his lips softly.

"We're going home."