It's Always Been You

Chapter Thirty One; 3 weeks

Katniss' POV

His brown curls stand straight up. His bright blue eyes are the first thing I look at in the morning. His tiny little smile melts my heart every single day. He's given me a new purpose; a new reason to wake up every day, but I've been told that if I can't find someone to take care of him when I'm needed, I'll have to be away from him for months.

Motherhood has been easier than expected. Besides being eighteen and emotionally unstable, I haven't been terrible at it either.

I don't sleep much anyway, so I'm always up to feed him whenever possible. Peeta has been an amazing help, and I feel closer to him than ever.

On days that I can't seem to get out of bed and face the world, Peeta is there to comfort me...to bring Hunter into our bedroom and let him lay with me. Admiring my son...my perfect little son seems to be the only thing that gets me out of bed some days.

It's been months since I've been to the Capitol...not since before Hunter's birth. I've been recovering, the only excuse that has kept me here in 12, but it hasn't kept Peeta by my side.

Yesterday, Peeta was whisked out to the Capitol for an interview and party before the reaping in 3 short weeks, so I'm staying with my mother and Prim for the few long days without my husband.

I stare over at Hunter sleeping soundly. It's been five months, almost six and he still mesmerizes me. The fact that Peeta and I created such a perfect little boy makes me indefinitely happy. The thought of being away from him for more than a day makes me sick, let alone weeks.

"Prim?" I ask with a small grin. "Would you mind watching Hunter for a few minutes? I have to go visit Haymitch."

"Of course, Katniss." Prim says softly, walking over to me and scooping Hunter up from his bassinet. She gives me a kiss on the forehead, coddling Hunter.

"Katniss?" She asks softly.

"Mhm?" I whisper, my thoughts elsewhere.

"Do you think I'm going to get reaped for the games?"

+++

I barge into Haymitch's house to find him passed out on the couch. I shake him awake, and surprisingly, he's not drunk.

"What the hell, Katniss?" Haymitch snarls, walking over to the refrigerator to get something to drink.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, deflation in my voice. "I need a favor."

"What is it?" Haymitch asks concerned. He attempts to hand me a glass of liquor but I decline.

"I'm sober, remember?"

"I forgot." He says, plopping down at the table. "Now why the hell are you here, sweetheart?"

I clear my throat, choking up. "I can't leave Hunter, I can't. I'll worry too much. I need him with me or-or I'll fall apart. Please, Haymitch. I need you to take care of him when I'm mentoring. President Snow said I had to find someone to take care of him and if not, id have to leave him here with my mother. I can't trust her. I can't trust you either but I'll be in the same place.

"So let's get this clear, you want me to stay sober and take care of your six month old screaming son?"

"Please." I whisper, my lip quivering as tears flow down my cheeks. "Just...please." I start to bawl, letting my emotions that I've been holding in for so long go. "I can't leave my son!"

"Okay, okay, fine!" Haymitch says, shaking his head. "I'll have Effie help me I guess."

"Thank you, Haymitch." I breathe, sitting down and putting my head into my hands. "Thank you."