It's Always Been You

Chapter Seventeen; Deserve

Acacia comes into view, with a tight, pink dress complimenting her long legs. It falls just above her knees, and she has bright gold heels on. Her hair is in a high, curly pony tail on the top of her head, but her hair still manages to fall to the middle of her back. Her makeup is beautiful, with gold lipstick and a nice rose gold eyeshadow look. Besides the huge scowl that she has on her face, she looks quite beautiful.

Zane is wearing an all white suit with a gold tie. His hair has been spiked up, but that was all that Cinna wanted to do to him.

"Are they wearing the smoke that you used during the tribute parade?" I ask Cinna. Cinna has dressed me in a beautiful gold, lace crop top, with matching pants that flow very dramatically. I can't help but be uneasy about my stomach showing at all, because I'm definitely getting bigger. When I did the math, I figured I was about ten weeks. I'm really not showing at all, but Cinna knew right away when I took my shirt off. My stomach is slightly bloated, giving me the official 'I've eaten too much' look. At least that's what Haymitch calls it. My makeup is minimal. I have some silver eye shadow on with some mascara, and my lips are silver also. Cinna topped the outfit off with some silver heels that are about four inches tall.

"Not tonight." Acacia interrupts, sitting down next to me. "There'd be no way to incorporate it. Besides, I won't have a cool nickname like you. Smoke doesn't do much."

I sigh, shaking my head and looking over to Peeta who is sitting in the audience next to a few of the victors. He is listening closely to the District Five tributes' interviews, sipping from a glass of wine.

Peeta and I have been very distant since our falling out last week. I haven't slept in the same bed with him, and my nightmares are horrid. I don't think I've had a good night sleep since then. Our conversations only consist of him making sure I have eaten and making small talk about Acacia and Zane. It's as if we're starting from square one again, but I can't even be mad at him. I've done everything wrong in this relationship, and I haven't even realized it. He's so confused about what we are, but frankly, so am I. Maybe the two of us should do what our original plan was, and just be friends. It seems impossible, though, with a baby on the way.

I decide to go to the audience and let Cinna and Portia do everything with Acacia and Zane. I sit next to Peeta, placing my hand on his knee. He fakes a grin, looking forward. There already on District 11's interviews. I press my lips together, sighing deeply. The boy from District 11 is only twelve, and I can't help but think of Rue. I wish she would've won. She deserved it more than me.

When Acacia is called onto the stage, I hold my breath, but the weight is quickly lifted off of my shoulders when she walks out with a glistening smile on her face, her gorgeous pink dress bouncing up and down with every step. She gives Caesar a huge hug, sitting down in the small chair that I've sat in far too many times. She flashes him a smile, and the crowd instantly roars. "Oh, Acacia darling, you look absolutely stunning tonight." Caesar says. "I wish we had more time to talk, because I just have so many questions for you."

"Oh, so do I, Caesar. I absolutely love watching you. You are just so friendly and easy going. I'm already having fun talking." She says, giggling.

"Well, I'm flattered." He says, kissing her hand. "But I must ask these questions fast, my first one being, how does it feel to have the highest possible score?"

"It's just so amazing. I'm completely flattered, and I can't believe how much I've accomplished. I'm definitely excited for these games, and I think District 12 could certainly have another winner."

"Well, I love to see some confidence in the young tributes." Caesar exclaims. "Do you think Katniss and Peeta Mellark have a lot to do with how well you're doing?"

"Of course." Acacia says. "They're great mentors and they've taught me a lot."

"How is it working with them? Don't you just love them? I know I do." Caesar says, smiling widely. Just listening to him go on about how much he loves us makes me want to kill him right then and there. Usually I have alcohol to get me through these things, but I'm walking on thin ice with Peeta. He'd never let me have any.

Acacia nods, smirking. "Working with them is always a joy. Their love just radiates around them, and they always make me happy."

Lies. Acacia hates our love story. She thinks it's petty and despises when we kiss in front of anyone. She told me herself.

"I'm glad to hear." Caesar says. "I know you have been working with my girl on fire one on one. How has she been? Has she taught you any archery skills?"

"Well, Caesar, I'd tell you, but I don't want to spoil anything before the games. You're just going to have to wait and see."

"Oh, I love surprises!" Caesar says, clapping his hands. "Well, unfortunately, it looks like that's all the time we have for you, tonight. Acacia Caverly, everyone!"

Acacia walks off the stage, waving and smiling. Her curled hair bounces up and down as she walks. She looks flawless. The crowd is eating her up.

I zone out, and don't quite hear Zane's name called, but I look up towards the stage to see him already seated with Caesar.

Zane's interview lasts the three minutes like everyone else's. It's simple, and the crowd seems to like him. He's a cute kid, I can't lie, and Peeta has been helping him all that he can. I hope he makes it a few days in the arena. He doesn't deserve to die like this. None of these tributes do. I just can't help but think that my child will be up there one day.

I excuse myself, feeling sickened and overwhelmed. I can't do this. I don't want to do this. But I have to do this.