It's Always Been You

Chapter Six; All I Want

I sit in the ballroom of President Snow's mansion, where it was decided that our wedding reception would be. I stare over at Prim, dancing and getting along with a few Capitol children. She looks happy, almost like she's having fun. I hope she is, because I know that the only thing I can focus on is the glass of wine in front of me.

Peeta sits next to me, smiling and greeting everyone that walks by as he wraps his arm around me. We were seated at a table with Cinna, Haymitch, Effie, Prim, and my mother. I'm buzzed, but I haven't let myself get drunk yet. I reach for my sixth glass of wine, but Peeta squeezes my shoulder, giving me a look of disappointment.

As everyone moves towards the dance floor, and no one is paying attention, I slide the glass over to him, nodding to it. "Maybe you can get your mind off things," I whisper nudging him. He shakes his head, pushing it back to me. "One glass won't kill you, Peeta."

He rolls his eyes, taking a few sips of it and placing it back down in front of me. "Happy?" He whispers.

"I don't want to argue, Peeta. It's our wedding day. Can we just... try to be in love? Just for tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry," he whispers, kissing my cheek as a few people walk by, smiling widely at us. There are over a thousand people here, and I know about 10 of them. "Do you want to dance? It may kill some time."

"Mhm," I nod, gulping the wine as I reach for another glass. "But only if you drink this whole glass," I smile, chuckling softly. 

"Katniss, you're already drunk," Peeta says, brushing the loose hair out of my face. "Maybe we should cut out early... tell everyone we want to go on our honeymoon earlier than planned."

"No," I say defensively, handing him the glass of wine. "One glass, one dance, and we can go."

He shakes his head, a crooked smile appearing on his face. "Oh, Katniss." He whispers, drinking the glass of wine. "Okay, now, can we dance?"

I pull him to the dance floor, laughing as I pull him close to my body. I don't know why I feel this way. Usually when I drink, I'm instantly clear of my problems. Tonight, though, I feel... happy drunk. I feel like my problems are gone, just enough that I can enjoy what is supposed to be the happiest night of my life.

"One more drink, Mellark?" I ask, pulling him towards the table of punch and wine. "We can dance all night afterwards."

He bites his lip, stumbling a bit after me. We play it off like he tripped on my dress, but I look up at him, holding his arm steadily. "I have to tell you something," he whispers, seeming ashamed. "I– I drank a bottle of liquor after the wedding... before we came here tonight. The buzz is just kicking in. That's why I wanted to leave. It wasn't because of you."

"That's okay, Peeta. I understand," I whisper, holding his hand tightly. God, how could I have been so childish? I don't have time to be happy drunk. I don't have time to enjoy my life, because I have to keep everyone safe. "Let's go."

I pull him towards the door, smiling and nodding to my mother and Prim as I leave. I see Caesar Flickerman broadcasting the reception for anyone that couldn't be there, but we manage to slip past them into the less crowded hallway. I pull Peeta to the stairs by his tie, and he laughs as I turn to him, pressing my lips against his softly.

"God, I am so drunk," Peeta says, shaking his head. "I don't think I've ever been like this."

"Welcome to my world, Peeta Mellark." I whisper, clumsily kissing his jawline. It surprises him, but he runs his hands through my hair, kissing my neck and sucking on it gently. For some reason, Peeta is the only thing I focus on.

I hurry up the stairs, scanning the hallway for our room. Peeta follows me like a lost puppy, keeping his hands on my waist. "You know, you're now Mrs. Mellark," Peeta whispers with a slight chuckle. I open our door clumsily, walking in and falling straight onto the bed.

"What time do we leave in the morning?" Peeta asks, kissing my cheek as he hovers over me on our bed.

"Seven O' Clock," I whisper, running my hand through his perfect blonde curls. He nods, kissing me some more, satisfying me, but leaving my body screaming for more.

I don't know if it's the alcohol, or if I truly want it, but I slip the wedding dress off, leaving me in only my white lacy bra and underwear. Peeta's eyes widen, and I topple over on top of him.

"I– I'll be right back," I whisper, stumbling towards the bathroom. I slam the door behind me, leaning up against it and catching my breath. I pull my hair out of it's style, letting my loose curls fall. I run my hand down my bare skin, breathing in and out slowly. I splash cold water on my face, and clench my eyes shut for a moment.

I open the door slowly, crawling into bed with Peeta. He has already taken his tux off, and he is laying in only his underwear.

Peeta grabs one, running his finger through my hair and pulling me down closer to him.

He kisses my chest and along the line of my breasts, carefully removing the clasp of my bra and letting it fall to the ground. He gently pulls my underwear down, and I shiver slightly.

I grab his boxers, pulling them off of him. He sits me up, flipping me around for easy entrance.

"Are you sure about this, Katniss?" Peeta asks, kissing my neck from behind.

I'm unable to process what's happening, the alcohol in my system is putting me in a haze, but all I know is that I'm going to be doing just this for the rest of my life. I will be married to Peeta for the rest of my life, so what is stopping us from having sex?

I don't know. I didn't think I'd ever get this far with Peeta, but somehow I find myself saying "Yes." I turn around, wrapping my arms around his neck. I hover over him, and he pushes forcefully into me. I let out a choking sound, gritting my teeth until the pain passes. I dig my head into the crook of Peeta's neck, and the pain is almost immediately replaced with pleasure.

I don't know if I'll ever truly love Peeta, but I know that right now, he is all I want in the world.