It's Always Been You

Chapter Thirteen; No One Wins The Games

I look over to Peeta, who is talking strategies for the games with Acacia and Zane. Effie and Haymitch are in their own world, talking about things that aren't even necessary. That's the first time I've ever seen the two of them truly getting along. You'd think after all of these years, they'd be friends, but they're not.

With Peeta distracted, I decide that this is the perfect time to take the pregnancy test. If not, I'll be in the medical unit as soon as we get to the tribute center. I excuse myself quietly, sprinting towards our room. I hurriedly go to the bathroom, rummaging through the cupboard that I hid the test in. I silently unwrap the box, laughing quietly to myself as I read the directions.

I do as the test says, and stare at it in anticipation.

"Katniss?" I hear Peeta call. I listen closely, and I hear the bedroom door open. His heavy footsteps approach the bathroom, and I quickly hide the test behind a small plant, flattening myself against the door.

"I'm in here!" I scream, my voice strained as Peeta attempts to open the door. I take a deep breath, stepping away from the door.

"Katniss, what's going on?" He asks, brushing the loose hair from my face. "Are you sick again?"

"No, no." I say, shaking my head. "I just had to wash up before we get to the Capitol, that's all," I whisper, basically pushing him out of the bathroom. He raises an eyebrow.

"I'll be in the dining room," he says, kissing my forehead. "You'd tell me if something was wrong?"

"Yes, of course," I whisper, kissing his cheek.

He leaves, shutting the door behind him, and I let out a deep sigh, going back into the bathroom. I cautiously grab the test, squeezing my eyes shut and opening them.

Pregnant

My jaw drops, and I feel my heart racing. I breathe heavily, attempting to calm myself, but I can't. I can't be pregnant. I'm only seventeen. I can barely take care of myself, let alone a human being that will depend on me for everything.

"Peeta," I whisper shakily, falling to the ground. "Peeta!" I scream, letting out a short sob. He immediately comes into the bedroom, looking around. When he sees me laying in the bathroom, he hurriedly comes to my side, wrapping his arms around me.

"What is it, Katniss?" He asks, kissing the tears away. Effie and Haymitch follow behind him, staring at me.

"You just scared the hell out of us!" Haymitch sneers, shaking his head.

Effie looks at me, and knows exactly what's happened. She shakes her head, exchanging a glance with Haymitch.

I calm myself a bit, uncrossing my arms and shakily handing the test to Peeta. He looks at it closely, his jaw dropping. "Katniss does this mean–"

"Yes," I breathe, digging my head into his shoulder. "We're going to have a child."

Haymitch looks at the both of us in disbelief, walking out of the room with Effie to give us some privacy.

"Katniss, I don't know what to say," Peeta whispers, helping me to my feet. I press my hand on my abdomen, where it's becoming real that there is a child growing inside of me. I follow Peeta to the bedroom, sitting down on the bed.

"I'm not ready for a child, Peeta," I whisper, shaking my head. "I don't want to be a mother yet. Our child is going to be reaped for the games, I just know it."

"You don't know that, Katniss," he whispers, wrapping his arms around me.

"Please promise to help me."

"Of course I'll help you, Katniss. I love you, and I love our child."

"Congratulations, I guess," I choke, burying my head into my hands. "You're going to be a father." I pause for a moment. "I guess I have a valid reason for my morning sickness."

"I had a feeling you were pregnant, I just didn't want to believe it, for your sake."

"Are you happy?" I ask, grabbing his hand and placing it on my abdomen. "For real?"

"I've always wanted children of my own," he whispers with a nod, wiping a tear from my face. "Now come on, you have to eat," he whispers, taking me to the dining room. "You're eating for two now."

Acacia gives me an awkward glare as I sit down at the table. Zane doesn't seem phased as he eats his breakfast. "What was that all about?" Acacia asks, taking a bite of her pancakes.

"I'm pregnant," I whisper, still trying to get used to the idea as a single tear rolls down my cheek.

"Shouldn't you be thrilled?" She sneers. "You and Peeta are madly in love, and you're also rich. What's the problem?"

I feel myself becoming angered, rolling my eyes at her. "The games change you," I whisper angrily. "I can't seem to find pleasure in anything anymore, because I'm scared that anything good will be taken away. In twelve years, my child is bound to be reaped for the hunger games, because no one wins the games." Her eyes widen, and for the first time, she looks terrified. "I am on this train ride for the rest of my life, training children that are going to die. I am so sick and tired of everyone believing that I should be so happy. So if you ask why I'm not thrilled, it's because absolutely no one will ever win the games."

"Katniss, that's enough," Peeta whispers, rubbing my back. "She gets it."

"No one gets it, Peeta." I whisper, tears welling in my eyes. "Listen at night if you can't sleep," I whisper. "Maybe you'll hear my screams from the nightmares that haunt me every night."

Everyone stares at me in utter disbelief, so I excuse myself, slamming the bedroom door behind me.

"Fuck."

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a/n
this is my last update for the week