His Bet

Chapter Forty Three

Two weeks had passed after that night when I told Brix a part of my terrors and I can't believe I just did that. I was so so scared that he might be any where that I don't know. I know I'm away from him I can't just take away the fear that sitting massively on my head and in my system. Its like I was made just to be scared of everything. That I'm just playing pretend that I'm tough though I know within myself that I'm just a weak girl who was kidnapped, tortured, and raped by demons. He should have murdered me too so I won't deal with this bullshit life I have. I was so out of touch and occupied by my terrors that it has to be mom call to check up on me.

Mom..

I silently cried when I heard her calming voice. I wish she's always here for me.. I wish I can open everything to her but I can't.. She got also beaten by my own father and her own husband and I can't give her another burden, she's working herself out to distract herself to her own problems and trauma and I can't just throw my own problems to her. I can't have her ashamed of her daughter for doing and participating such filthy things. I'm never sure I can be helped. I can't be helped. Brix said he's going to do everything to make those demons pay and to help me.. Its just like a sweet melody from his mouth that I want to believe and live a life to but I know deep inside I'm no escape from the past. I kept asking why do men always have their ways of hurting me.. Even by my own father..

I was made to be scared..

I was made just to be men's toy..

I scoffed on that. Someday, Brix will also have his own way of hurting me. It tugged my heart of the realization that he's going to hurt me not maybe physical but emotional by the way he's acting towards me.. How he cares for me, how he shows me affection, how he take good care of me, how he softly and gently hug me, how he kiss me on my forehead to say goodnight, how he calm me down during my moments, how he always get tired of getting me back and how he tell and shows me that he likes me.. All of it is a very sweet music that plays to my ears. All of it sounds good and loving but I don't know what's behind those actions.

It must be fake flames for all I know..

Fake flames that's just going to lured me in and twist me in pain until I can't take it anymore.. Until I'm no longer myself.. Until I do such things I promise myself I'm never going to do.

"Bitch.." I muttered under my breathe. I just finish my call with my mom when I decided to get inside the house after a long tiring day.

"Time for dinner babe." Brix greeted me with a smile as he walks his way towards my direction and have me in the table.

That smile..

I nodded and continue my way on it. I'm not really into eating so I just eat to display. They chatter happily as I contemplate everything on my head. I need to get distracted.. Its not everyday that I'm okay in the morning until noon but gets the opposite when the darkness covered the whole world for the night.

Brix's actually been so persistent on convincing me to have an appointment to the doctor he was saying. I said I'm giving this a try but I suddenly feel like my hopes turned into jello. Its just too much.. Too much for my handling. So I finally gave up and told him I'll give it a shot after a week of preparation. He said he'll let the doctor know.

Red's also been there still throwing me his hilarious flirting lines. I actually having a good laugh on that because I told him its not like him and I like the old Red. The old Red that makes me feel safe, like I'm his younger sister. Sure he was hurt that I friendzoned him in some degree but I told him its the very best choice for the two of us. I told him I'm not the perfect girl material and we'll just end breaking up, well not that I want him in a romantic way but I just presented the possibilities on it. But as what I told you.. Persistent really runs in the brothers blood so I didn't bother to waste my energy telling him hundred of times.

"Time for bed my sweetheart." His voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Oh." I managed to say as I get downstairs with him. His big hands covering mine making sure I won't stumble down in the dark. As the days goes by I'm slightly being used under his presence and touch. What I mean is.. In the right time of the day.. He knows any better not to invade my personal bubble at night and I'm grateful for that. He opened the maids room and shut it behind him. He was smiling at me and I found it weird.

"What?" I snapped.

His smile just turn to a much wider grin.

"You're making me nervous Brix. What is it?" I snapped him again. I don't know what's that look for.

"Nothing really.." He chuckled and he's embarrassed?

I furrowed my eyesbrows on question so he get near me and sat in front me.

He again hold my hand as he put it both on his face and plant a brief kiss on my knuckles. Sure I froze because I saw how gentle he is with me, how he shut his eyes with sincerity when he kisses me like that.

"I'm.. I'm just happy you agreed with the treatment." He smiled and it hit me.

"Oh." I managed again to say. It mustn't be me happy with that?

"And I'm happy you're with me.. I'm just happy I met you." He whispered making soft thumb circles on the back of my hand making my stomach feel that stupid feeling.

I don't know what to say about that so I didn't respond. I'm not really good into this kind of conversation. He's the first man showed care and interest on me so I don't exactly know what to do or say.

"I don't know what to say on that." I whispered as I look back at him.

"You don't have so say something about it. I'm just glad.. And I.. I'm thankful you didn't push me away and you let me in."

"I didn't let you in. You were just so persistent and hard headed old man." I jockingly mocked.

He chuckled on that.

Yeah, that humor..

"You're stubborn little lady and I'm a persistent and hard headed old man, that pretty much a good combination."

I smile on that..

A while ago I was thinking bad of him. That he's going to hurt me and here he is proving me everyday that I'm wrong.

Why is he that good and special..

"There's that smile.. I really wanna kiss that beautiful smile." I feel my face flush and and I'm out words, I want to mock him but I don't trust my lips that will surely curve into a smile.

He is somewhat close to perfect and still he wants a kidnapped, tortured, raped and broken girl. How ironic..

I didn't realize I was thinking out loud when he replied on that.

"I'm not perfect kitty. I was far from that.. I just know what to say to you. I just know what my heart want to express when I talk to you. Yes, you were kidnapped, beaten and they taken away your innocence and purity but that doesn't make me back away from telling you how much you mean to me. They might have stolen your childhood, innocence, purity and freedom but I'm afraid that you took away more than that from me.."

I didn't remember that I took away something from him?

Sure I look confused on what he said so he answered that silent question right away.

"You took my heart baby. You stole it from me and I don't think I can ever get it back anymore." He softly whispered as his eyes went jade in the dark. Jaded not with anger or rage but with something I'm completely oblivious at. Something I never seen from any other guy's eyes. I gaped my mouth on that.. I was there sitting dumbfounded by his sweet words. Now I feel scared of this unfamiliar and foreign feeling.

"Don't give me that look sweetheart. I'm not pushing you to answer on that. I just want you to know that for now.. I just want you to know what I feel about you. But I wouldn't mind if you want me to be your boyfriend now." He winked in the last phrase making the intense mood lighted a bit. I tried to bit my lip to avoid a grin but I guess I didn't succeed because he chuckled on that as he gently cupped my face and plant a soft and gentle kiss on my forehead.

"I love you kitty. I really do."

What the hell?

How I wish I know how to reply on that..