There's The Cat and Then There's Me [boyxboy]

Chapter One: Parentals

If I had to say one thing about my life, I would say it’s boring. I would say that ‘my life’ is going nowhere, that it’s like someone decided to build the great wall of China across the path that I call my ‘life’ suddenly after the day I was deemed to exist. That’s all my life was; existence, nothing more, nothing less.

There was no point to anything was the decision I made many years ago, I just had to co-exist with the days that slipped past my grasp. Every second was as if I was trying to prove myself to this huge, critiquing audience that refused to give me the time of day. They turn a blind eye towards everything that could hold some potential or possible meaning. They ignore my protests; they push me down and bury me so far down that I may as well be dead. They forget me, blank me out… wish they could be anywhere but where I am.

I call it the valley of ‘Beyond Average’.

A boring name for a boring person with a boring life.  An average excuse for existence.

In the end you give up. Just like me… and no doubt the countless other people just like me.

But mainly me.

I sighed resignedly towards my ceiling, the morbidly obese creature lazing on my stomach tracing dangerous patterns over my skin with its tail. Even the stupid cat has a reason for existence, I thought grimly. Turning my body to lie horizontally across the bed, I let my head roll off the edge, merely watching as my world tilted upside down. Even if it exists to cause me pain. As if on cue, the cat stretched out, digging its claws into my shirtless stomach.

“Ouch,” I yelled, my body jolting reflexively upright. “You did that on purpose you little fu-”

“Andrew James Johanessy!” I winced at the sound of my full name. Andrew James, I thought, dragging out the syllables. It was so… boring.

My mother’s voice cracked through the house like a whip, probably echoing through the walls of our neighbours’ house as well.

 “Kitchen! Now!”

Mum never has a nice voice when she yells, it turns high pitched and scratchy, almost scraping nails down the inside of your eardrums. My father must have the tolerance of a god to withstand it for all these years. Personally, I would have gone mental by now… Some people think I’m bonkers, but I just think I’m free. There’s nothing crazy bout me! My mind pumped the lyrics out randomly, confusing my train of thought.  I stared absently at the poster on the wall for a few seconds, observing the odd shapes of human beings before groaning and rolling onto my stomach, forcing my tall, skinny frame out of the bed. Roughly I shoved the cat off, laughing as it flumped ungracefully onto the carpet. It returned the favour by somehow lifting it’s plump body off the ground far enough to rake its claws over my stomach and proceeding to run to my closet, making itself at home among my clothes.

“OW!” I protested, glaring at the angry red lines scratched across my stomach. Great. Fucking cat hair over everything. Reaching out, I grasped a pillow, throwing is at the damned creature. It merely hissed at me before retreating huffily out of the room.

“That’s right,” I muttered at its stiff tail.

“ANDREW JAMES JOHANESSY! THREE SECONDS OR I’M TAKING YOUR LAPTOP FOR A YEAR!”

I glanced hurriedly at the Apple Mac lying calmly on my desk, a pang of protectiveness shooting through me.

I’ll protect you baby, don’t worry! They’ll never take you from me!

 “I’m coming!” I yelled as loud as I could, before launching myself out of my room. I ignored the fact I ran into the doorframe on the way past and stumbled clumsily down the stairs.