There's The Cat and Then There's Me [boyxboy]

Chapter Six: Never Will I Need You

I sat there in stunned silence for about five minutes before I freaked out. Accel was observing my every action; I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my skull. All I could do was just sit there, slouched over the edge of my bed and pray to God that what had just happened really didn’t. But I was bullshitting myself and I knew it.

 Oh my fucking God. Get him thew fuck out of your house Andrew; out of your house, out of your room, out of you life, because he one dangerous guy. Get him out and do it NOW. Right at this moment.

Seconds before I turned around to say exactly what was running through my mind, a hand landed on my shoulder. That was all that I needed; I snapped.

I flung myself around in a split millisecond, launching off the bed and scrambling to the other side of my room. I pressed against the chest of drawers, my eyes locked dangerously with the boy kneeling on all fours on my bed with one arm outstretched to me. I felt almost insane as if this animal had taken over me. I couldn’t think straight; all I knew was that I wanted him gone.

“Get out of my house,” I seethed. My hands clutched at the drawer handles tightly, refusing to release the pressure.

Accel stared at me warily. It was almost like he could tell I was stretched to breaking point. To tell the truth I was more confused and scared than I had ever been in my life. I was terrified that any second now my legs would buckle and I would start bawling my eyes out like some little kid lost in a shopping center. It was like I was lost but in a maze of my own emotions and feelings for this boy who was now perched on the end of my bed, watching me with alert jade eyes and an atmosphere of danger.

“Andrew-“

“LEAVE!” I shouted at him, pointing my finger firmly towards the door. My other hand still grasped the dresser, stacked high with CD’s from my favourite bands.

Just fucking go! I hate you! You’ve fucked me up enough already haven’t you!? You were the biggest fucking mistake of my life so far! Just get the hell out of my house! I never want to see you again!

Slowly Accel got to his feet backing towards the door, the entire time his eyes remained locked with mine, attempting to gauge my mood and frustration with him. He quickly gathered all his belongings and walked swiftly to the door, still clad in only my jeans.

I watched as he manoeuvred out the doorway, praying he would hurry up.  As soon as the door closed behind him I sank down onto the floor in a ball, tears flooding my cheek.

Fuck my life, I wanted to scream at the world. I’m so worthless to everybody! I can never do anything right and in the end they all abandon me. Sure maybe I told him to leave but did I really want him to go?

Did I really want him to?

He abandoned me just like everyone else in my life. No friends, no one I can trust, my parents couldn’t WAIT to get away from me considering they had the holiday planned for a year, it’s OBVIOUS they don’t want me around, even the cat hates my guts.

Reaching above my head I managed to find a beer that had been placed on top of the dresser. Shoving it roughly to my lips I drowned myself in the alcohol, feeling the tears slide down my cheeks in unison with the alcohol sliding down my throat. Roughly I scrubbed at my hair, feeling the strands tangle around my bands. For once I didn’t give a shit and ripped my wrist away, embracing the slight pain of the hair breaking away.

Why does everything always turn out like this? Sure everyone thinks poor me, poor me but seriously? Why is it always ME that everyone decides is the fucking loser? Am I really that unlike-able that I just repel people like I’m some kind of trash?