Winning Skylinn

73

The days passed slowly as I waited for an apology. I wasn't sure what to expect, or how I'd react. I hadn't gotten that far in my thought process. In my head, Denver was never going to come running back to say he was sorry. And honestly? I didn't know what I'd do if he ever did.

I didn't see Jonny for three more days and my life felt so empty without him. I missed his lopsided smile, and his way of making the best of the worst. It was as if my world was off its axis.

Then, on Saturday, I was getting home from Sunrise and he was outside doing yard work. It was something he rarely did, and I almost didn't recognize him squatted down in front of the shrubs.

I stared for a long time, not sure if I should call out to him or just go ahead inside.

As if he could hear my thoughts, Jonny turned his head and noticed me standing there on the sidewalk. "Oh, um, I was just going inside," I said quickly, hurrying through the front gate.

Before I could make it to the front steps, he said, "Hey, Leonard." I almost cried. Seriously.

I heard his footsteps as he walked through the freshly-mowed grass and over to the fence that separated our houses. I turned to look at him, and felt a lump form in my throat. It's crazy what a week without your best friend can do to you.

His hands were stuffed in his jeans pockets, and my first thought was, 'Why isn't he wearing shorts in this heat?' His black T-shirt was covered in dirt and grass stains, and his hair was disheveled from rubbing the sweat off his forehead.

He looked so different than usual. Jonny had always had good fashion sense, and he took care of his hair and skin. This was a whole new version of him.

Finally I realized I hadn't spoken since he'd said hello. "Oh, right. Hi."

He let out a soft chuckle. "Are you just getting home from work?"

"Yeah. Usually I don't work Saturdays, but Katie needed me to cover her shift, so."

"Gotcha."

I peered over his shoulder. "So, you're, uh, doing yard work? That doesn't sound like you."

"Yeah, I know. But Dad's outta town, and Mom wanted the yard taken care of. She's been tired a lot lately."

"Is she...okay?"

"You mean, is she dying? No, she's alright. Work's just been stressful, I guess," he explained.

"That's good. That she's not...dying."

God, we sounded like such idiots. After years and years of friendship, this is how we sounded after a week off? It was small talk, something we almost never did. And I didn't like it one bit.

Where was the old Jonny and Skylinn? What ever happened to them? I'll tell you what happened. A stupid, unapologetic boy got in the way.

Jonny seemed to sense my discomfort. "Skylinn, I'm not gonna pretend to act like everything is okay. I'm not gonna stand here and pretend nothing's changed. Something obviously has, because we're not being us. I know I said I'd give you time, but my selfishness is taking over and I'm getting kind of impatient." He gave me a look that was both teasing and pained.

I didn't know how to respond. So instead, I said what was really on my heart. "He hasn't come back."

"I...can't even imagine how that must feel. I really thought he was smarter than that."

"Than what?"

"To leave a girl he's been with for four years, just stranded at some stupid high school with no way home. I mean, what was he thinking?"

"I don't know. I guess he just wasn't."

Jonny looked at me for a long time, seemingly gathering information by whatever pain was in my eyes. Then he spoke. "Stop thinking like that."

"Like what?" I asked, confused.

"Like you're worthless. Like you didn't mean anything to him, like you don't mean anything at all. I can see it in your eyes-you just keep asking yourself, 'Why me? Why him?' Please just...don't. You're so much more than what that guy thinks of you. I'm not saying this as the guy who loves you; I'm saying this as your best friend: let him go."

I looked up, not realizing I'd been staring down at my shoes. I had to bite my lip to keep from crying.

"Skylinn, you are worth it. Some people are too dumb to realize that, but I'm not one of them. Because you know what? You are worth it. You're worth it to me, Skylinn."

"What do you mean?"

"Look, I don't think anyone on earth is perfect, but I do know that your friendship is priceless, and that you care so much about everyone, and you're good with kids, and you're just...everything. When I moved here, it didn't matter that there were three boys down the street. You were the first person to become my friend, and you were the only one who stuck around past high school. You saw the best in me when I thought there was nothing good left.

"You light up the room just by walking in, and it's not like every head turns to look at you, but that's what I always liked. You didn't need the approval of other people. You've always been 100% you, and I just want to be more like the girl next door, ya know? Because even if perfect people don't exist, you're the closest I've come to one in my entire life."

I couldn't speak, so instead I hugged him. It was like I couldn't get there fast enough, and once I did, I couldn't tear myself away. He held me back for a long time, letting me cry into his smelly shoulder. And right then, I didn't care that he was dirty; I was just happy to be in his arms again. It was the only place besides my house that truly felt like home.