Fading Scars.

Chapter 2

So, it had been 3 weeks since me and Josh met. To be honest, he was amazing. He was always there for me when I needed him, he made me laugh, smile. He made me change my mind when I needed it. We were always together, just like best friends. I didn't know him for that long, but it seems like I knew him since birth. We liked the same thing, we did the same thing. Couldn't ask for a better friend.

Daddy invited him for dinner that evening. I was kind of nervous. He never came at my house, so it would be the first time. I went to his house, many times. It wasn't being with him that was making me nervous, it was just the fact that my Dad thought we were... daitng. Yeah. I told him thousands of time that we are just friends, but he always said: ''One day, you two will start dating for sure. Like in movies.'' yep. That was my dad. Anyway, he was coming over really soon, and I was watching tv in the living room while my dad was making dinner. I wouldn't eat. In case you didn't notice yet, I never eat. I felt fat everytime and ended up in the bathroom, making myself throw up. That was my secret. No one knew about it and it was alright this way.

"Aly, Josh is here." my Dad said from the kitchen. I was thinking too much, I didn't hear the bell rang. I got up and made my way to the front door. "Hey there." Josh said. "Come in." I smiled. "Nice house you have." he was looking around the house and I just smiled at him, "Thank you."

"Dinner's ready!" my Dad told us. We sat at the table and they ate. "You're not eating?" Daddy asked. "Yeah, don't worry." I lied. I took a bite of my salade, tossed the food in the corner of my plate to look like I ate. Smart move, right? "So Josh, tell me a little about you." my dad spoke, smiling. "I live with my mom and my two sisters. I'm new here, I moved last month." Josh explained, shyly. He was so cute when he blushed. "Where's your father?" my dad asked, making me choked on my water, "He passed away last year." Josh told me about his father, I should have warn my father about it. "I'm so sorry, I didn't told him yet." I said, kind of sad. "Yeah sorry man, I shouldn't have asked." my father was feeling bad, "Don't worry Mr. Miller, it's totally fine." Josh smiled at us. We continued eating dinner and talking at the same time. We had a good time actually.

After dinner, Josh and I went out for a walk. "Your dad is very nice!" he said looking at me. "I know. I love my dad." even if he already knew that, I told him again. "I know that." he laughed. "He likes you. I can tell." I knew when my dad liked my friend and when he hated them. "Great then." he smiled. That smile though. So cute. Wow. "So, I saw you tonight, you barely touched your food." he sounded, worried? I couldn't tell.

"Yeah, I'm probably sick. I think a have a cold or something." I lied, I could be pretty convincing at lying sometimes, but with Josh it was different. "Aly." he had this 'do you think I'm an idiot?' look on his face. "Josh." I played him a little. "don't lie to me." He whispered, looking hurt. "I'm not." Why was I even trying? "Just be careful, okay?" Josh really knew me. He knew when I was lying, and we've been friends for like less then a month. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." I reassured him.

"We should go back home." he said, trying to change the subject. I nodded, feeling defeated that he knew about my secret.

_______

We were in my bedroom, doing homeworks. Boring of course, but he was so good in History so he helped me. "You're so bad." Josh laughed, "It's not my fault! I'm trying." I said, laughing at myself too. I was so bad. "Now it's my turn. Help me with my math." Josh told me, "Sure." I smirked, knowing that I'd be the one laughing at his competences in maths. "So, which sections do you need help with?" I asked looking in his beautiful eyes. "All of them." he laughed, "Oh. Well, okay."

"How many times will I have to tell you that?" I asked, laughing at the same time. He was very bad. "Okay that's it for tonight." Josh told me, "Thank god." I said, laying on my bed. Josh laid next to me. I took his wrist in my hand and checked it and saw something I didn't wanna see. There was new cuts. I got up, and looked at him, "Josh, what the hell?" I was mad he didn't even tell me he wasn't alright. "Sorry." he said, with a sad look on his face. "Why?" I asked, laying next to him again, "I don't know, things weren't good. I was in a shitty mood, I guess." he wasn't looking at me, so I made him face me, "Josh look at me." he left his head up to me. "When you wanna do this to yourself, please just tell me. I will help. I will try at least." I was calm, understanding his situation. "Yeah, sorry."  I hugged him, "Thanks Aly."

_________

I met Josh at his locker the next morning. He wasn't okay and it was worrying me. "Hey." I approached him. He didn't reply, maybe he didn't heard it. "What's u-" he cut me off, "Aly, I'm not in the mood for a little chat right now. Just leave me alone." he was talking loud enough to have the attention towards us, "Calm down Josh, what's going on?" That wasn't him. He would never talk to me like that. "Nothing. Now leave me alone, you're getting on my nerves."he closed his locker and he was gone. That was just great. I was alone again.. I got used to it anyway. I knew I shouldn't trust again. I knew I would end up being hurt. 

I wasn't gonna lie to, I was sad. He was the friend I never have in my whole life. I really hope he would call or text me to explain his behavior.

________

When I got home, Daddy was sitting at the table and he looked sad. "Hey sweetheart, how was school?" he asked his daily question, and acted like nothing was up. "What's going on Daddy? Why are you so sad?" I made my way towards him and hugged him, "Okay, I need to talk to you Alyson." he was serious. That was never good. I sat in front of him and he began. "I went to see the doctor today. Remember I told you about those headaches?" I nodded. Of course I rememebered, he was in such pain, "Well, they were really hurting recently, so to make sure I was fine, the doct-" I cut him, "Dad, just tell me what's going on." I was getting nervous. Really nervous, "I have cancer." he blurted out. "Wh-what..?" I was fighting back the tears.

"But you're gonna be alright, uh?" I was trying to look happy, but it didn't work. How could I possibly be happy when my dad just casually told me he had cancer? "No sweetie. It's too late." he said, tears streaming down his cheeks. "You can't Daddy. You just can't. You're my only reason to stay alive, if you die, I follow you." I was crying my eyes out.

"Aly, please don't say that" he was looking at me in the eyes, "I don't want you to follow me. You have to live your life the way you always wanted to." he was smiling, trying to cheer me up. "I can't live without you Dad.." I was whispering, because even if I wanted to, my voice was too weak to talk any louder. "You'll have to. I'm going soon Aly." he told me. "When..?" I asked, scared of the answer, "About two months." those words were too much. I broke down. I was crying hard, I couldn't breathe. I was freaking out. Those attacks got me here and there. "Calm down Alyson, everthing's gonna fine. I promise." my Dad never promised anything.

When my mom left for jail the first time, she promised me it will be the first and last time. She promised me. But she ended up there again. So, my father never used the word 'Promise' in front of me because of her. He didn't want to break his promises and put me deeper in my depression. "You promise?" I asked, my voice shaking.  "Yeah. I promise."

If he promised me that everything was going to be okay, then I believed him. He was the only person I trusted. "I believe you then." Those words were the last words I said that night. I just couldn't get over the fact that, in less than two months, my Daddy would be gone... forever.