Fading Scars.

Chapter 12

Josh haven't called yet. I was sad, mad but still sad. I must had said something to hurt his feelings. I didn't know. Maybe I should call him. Maybe something happened too. I started to panic and took my phone and clicked on Josh contact and called him. 

"What?"he answered my call, "Excuse me?" I replied, "I'm not in the mood, Aly." he was harsh, "I don't care. Honestly, you know it was my Dad's funeral yesterday, and you didn't show up. You know how much I wanted you there." I said, my voice starting to shake, "I didn't want to see you after what happened." I was now crying. "It was for my Dad, Josh! Not me, my Dad! He liked you alot and you know that. It was really selfish of you." I cried in the phone, "Why did you call anyway? To call me selfish? Done. Now I have to go." he said, "I'm trying here Josh!" I sobbed, "Look Aly, this isn't working." his voice had calm down, "What do you mean?" I asked, worried of what the answer could be, "Us. It's not working. I'm sorry." he answered, "A-Are you breaking up with me?" I was crying hard. Was he really breaking up with me, on the phone? "Yes Aly. I'm breaking up. I can't handle all our fights." we had two fights and this one was the biggest, "We had only two fights. Please don't break up with me, Josh. I love you." I was shaking, "Sorry Aly." and he hung up. He broke up with me. 

The last few days were really intense. I cried. I never thought I would ever cry over a boy in my life. So today I decided I was going to see my Dad's grave. Talk to him will be great, I thought. 

"Hey Daddy. It's me, Aly." I started, "I don't know what to do right now. Josh broke up with me last week.." and I began crying, again. "He doesn't talk to me anymore. He doesn't answer my texts or call. He's over me. But I'm not.. It's really hard. Why did you have to leave? I need you right now. I really do. I'm sad. You left me and now Josh too." I wiped away the tears on my cheeks and continued, "I was thinking about coming to see you soon. I'm tired of everything. Mom's out of jail, you're gone and Josh doesn't give a fuck about me. Why should I stay? I have nothing down here. But up there, I'll be with you." I saw some people walking around the cemetery, crying too. "I miss you Dad." I got up, looked at the sky and smiled. I knew he was looking at me. "I love you Daddy." I whispered and jumped in my car. 

I was still crying in my car all the way back home. I got out of it and opened my front door. I walked in and took off my shoes. I made some dinner and ate it in my room. I read one of my favourite book and my phone biped. I looked at the screen and I saw Rachel's name flashing. I opened the message and read it.

' I heard about you and Josh. I'm sorry Aly. I'm here okay? Call me if you need anything xx ' 

That was sweet. I didn't answer back though. I took my plate and bring it back downstairs in the kitchen. After, I sat on the couch and cried. I missed him so much. He was my first boyfriend. I never been heartbroken. But now that I was,  and I hated this feeling. The feeling in your stomach everytime you were thinking about him. He was free. He could do whatever he wanted. I cried harder at this thought. That was really too much. I went in the bathroom and took all the pills and bring them in the living room. I put them on the table and got some water. I was ready to end it right here. I missed my Dad more than anything. I needed him. I was not doing this because Josh dumped me. Because I had no one here anymore.

 I let my tears fell and took many pills in my hand, ''I'm coming Daddy..'' I cried, and when I was about to put the pills and my mouth, someone made them fall on the floor, ''What the fuck are you doing?'' I screamed, trying to pick up all the pills on the ground, ''You can't do this to me, Aly!'' Josh said. He was standing in front of me with sadness in his eyes, with all the pills in his hands, ''I don't care, give me my pills back!'' I was still screaming and crying, ''No!'' he cried, ''Josh, give me the pills back!''  ''Alyson, please calm down. You don't need those pills.'' he told me, ''Yeah, you're right. I needed you but you weren't there for me.'' I said, ''Now, give me my pills!'' I said, punching him in the chest. He threw the pills in the trash can and took my hands, ''What did you do?! They were the last I had! Josh, I hate you!'' I screamed at him, he took me in his arms, even if I was still punching him, and tried to calm me. ''You don't need those pills, Aly.'' he said, ''I know I wasn't there for you and I'm so sorry. But now I'm back and I'm not letting you leave. I need you, Aly. I love you so much.'' I was hugging him and crying. Did he just saved my life? Was that a sign from my Dad? I guess I wasn't ready to go see him yet. ''I don't hate you Josh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.'' I cried, ''Don't be sorry, Aly. I understand.'' he whispered in my ear, ''I love you, Josh.''  ''I love you more.'' he said, kissing my head. He was back.

''You should have told me, Aly.'' Josh said, ''She was so important for you and I didn't want to make a big deal about it.'' Rachel told Josh about Gabriella. He knew she was the girl who punched me now, ''Anyways, I'm not seeing her anymore. You were right.'' he told me, looking at the ground, ''I don't even wanna know what she did.'' I said, laughing a little. Josh was back and I was really happy to see him. He came just in time. ''What are you thinking about?'' he asked, getting closer to me, ''You were just in time.'' I simply replied, whispering, ''Yeah. I hate myself for leaving you becau-'' I cut him by kissing him. It was good to feel his lips back on mine. I felt his smile on my lips and I pulled away, putting my forehead on his and wrapping my arms around his neck. ''Can you promise me something?'' he asked, I nodded and he smiled, ''Don't think about ending your life again. I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. Please, promise me.'' he said, ''Yeah, I-I promise.'' he smiled and hugged me. ''Thank you Mr. Miler.'' he whispered in my neck. I would never forget those words. Never.