Fading Scars.

Chapter 3

I woke up that morning with my cheeks still wet from all the tears I cried last night. I wished it was just an nightmare. Josh called, but I didn't answer. He texted me too, but again I didn't text back. Anyway, I got out of bed, and went to the bathroom. I didn't wanna cry in front of my Dad. It was hard enough for him and I needed to look strong. I washed my face and got downstairs. My Dad was at the table, just like yesteraday. "Good morning Aly." my dad was trying to smile, which he failed at, "Good morning Daddy." I said sitting at the table.

"I'm seeing my doctor today." he looked at me to see my reaction, I guess, "Can I come?" I asked, hoping for the right answer.

"But you have school sweetie." he was sad, "I don't care Dad." school was the last place I wanted to be right now, to be honest, "Then I guess you can come with me." he smiled. He ate breakfast and showered and we went to the doctor's office. It was hard hearing my father talking to the doctor about... that. My Dad had to be checked one last time and we could finally go home.

"I will have to be hospitalized, you know that?" he asked, looking at me, "Yeah, I know. But, when?" I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to asked, "Next week.." he wasn't talking with his usual loud tone, but I was still able to hear him. "Oh.. Okay." next week. This was soon. Too soon.

"You'll be home alone, but you'll be alright. You're my little girl, I know you'll be." he laughed. I laughed with him, and we got home. It was sad that my dad would have to leave me, but I should just enjoy the time I still had next to him.

That day, I stayed home helping my Dad. I made dinner. Guess what? I ate. My dad looked happy when he saw me eating.

He took a nap after dinner and I went for a walk. The weather was great. I was thinking alot, but especially about Josh. I took my phone out of my back pocket and read the texts he sent me.

'I'm sorry Aly, I was in a bad mood, please forgive me.'

Yeah right, like it would be that easy for you.

'I can explain. Call me, I wanna see you.'

Come on, you didn't want to see me yesterday.

But maybe he was right. He didn't explain why he acted like this. He sould've had a good reason. Anyway, I got back home and Daddy was watching the tv. I made my way in the living room and sat on the sofa with him. "You have to go to school tomorrow you know that, right?" he asked, "But what if something happens to you while I'm not here?" I didn't want to go to school, but I knew I had to.

"Nothing will happen Aly. I'll be fine." he said, smiling at me, "Yeah, talking about school, I have homeworks to do." I got up and kissed his cheek.

I really wanted to stay home tomorrow. Josh would be at school and I didn't want to see him. In fact, I didn't want to see anybody else than my father. I was in a depressed mood and I didn't like it. I was at the point to hurt myself. I was looking for a blade everywhere, but I couldn't find one. I wanted to cut. I needed to cut. I hadn't cut for like 2 weeks. It was hard, but I made it.

So, I ended up sleeping in my bed. I resisted and I didn't do anything stupid, maybe I was just tired of all this and I really needed some sleep.

 ________

I was at school that morning, still regretting to be there. I left my Daddy and I was so nervous something would happen to him. I was trying to get this thought out of my head for the rest of the day, but it seemed like I just couldn't stop thinking about it.

I had English and Math this morning. It wasn't the time to be sitting next to Josh, I didn't want to see him.

Well, I guess I had to, because when I got in the classroom, he was already at my desk, waiting for me, "Aly," Josh said, "Go away." I replied, not feeling good by the way I was treating him, "I'm sorry Aly, I shouldn't have acted like that the other day." Josh was trying so hard to get me to forgive him, "I don't care, I don't wanna hear it." I didn't wanna talk to him, wasn't it clear? "I'm sorry." Josh whispered, causing me to sigh. "You said that alerady." I was harsh with him but I just wanted to be alone. He went at his desk and sat down. We haven't talked for the rest of the day and that was okay like this, even if I really needed him right now.