Forget me never...

Letter 1

By mrscage


New York,

Dear Candy,

I don't know how to start this letter... It's the fifth one that I started to write, trying to find the right words but every time, it felt so fake, so not right! I decided to write to you as directly as I can, leaving aside all the courtesy words. I'm sorry Freckles if this letter shocks you, if it is not like the ones you used to receive from Albert ,Georges or Sister Maria and Miss Pony.

I don't know if you follow from the newspapers but I had some difficulties after the day you left me in that hospital... I left the theater and everything behind and came to find you in Chicago. But I guess I was a coward, I used to think of myself as a strong and brave person but the last events showed me how weak I can be... I was there, watching you working in Happy Clinic ( the name of the clinic suits you so well, where else could work my cheerful Tarzan!), you were smiling as always. You gave me the courage the go back to my life. If you could deal with everything in your life, I said to myself, I could deal with the bad things too. Your life was harder than mine but you never gave up! Watching you there, seeing your smiling face made me realize that I had a duty to fulfill.

It's been five months since then, I took my job back, I'm shining as a star once again on Broadway. I went back to my duty... Susanna is happy, she is getting better every day, I keep my promise to you. I will marry her next year. We started to make the arrangements. I don't have the heart to marry her but I guess this was the role that Fate wanted me to play. I will play it. After all I'm an actor! And Susanna is a nice girl, she saved me, I owe her so much...

It took me three months to decide to write to you... Candy! Tell me, would you like to keep in touch with me? With letters? I try to be strong but without you being a part of my life I just can't deal with it. You made me open my heart, you made me destroy the walls that I built around myself to protect me and now you are not a part of my life anymore. I need you to be there even if I won't see you again. But who knows, as long as we are alive, maybe we would meet again... Would it be too much to ask you to write me back? We can not have the dreams we had, I can not have you as my wife... but I want to have your friendship at least... I can not hear your voice maybe but if I could just read a few words from you... What do you say? Do you want me to be your friend? I know you have a busy life, you already built yourself a new life. Maybe you will get married soon, I will get married soon. But if you could just find the time to write to me a letter now and then, if I could be a part of your life, if I could have news from you, I would be able to be complete again... Without you in my life, I just feel that my other half is missing. I don't want to have this big hole inside of me. Will you write me back?

If you don't answer this letter, I promise not to bother you anymore, I just want to thank you for the memories we shared. You're the reason of the changes in me, if I'm more responsible now, if I consider other people's feelings before mine, it's because of you. You made me a better person... a better person who suffers so much.

I'm waiting for your answer,

With love,

Your friend Terry