Forget me never...

Letter 7

By mrscage

New York

My love, my everything, my reason for living.... my sweet love, my heart....

How could I leave you there? How could I? How could you make me leave? and how did I listen to you one more time? After that night....

When I was on the stage and I saw you and Albert sitting right in the first row my heart was jumping as if it would leave my body, I was sure I was going to die.... You know I checked from the stage's curtain every two seconds to see if you were there and you can not imagine how heartbroken I was when the play started and there were two empty seats in front of me. I couldn't see all the audience, the theather was maybe full but you were not there and I couldn't take my eyes off that two empty places... I played my role the first act like in a dream, telling my lines wihtout any emotion, any feeling... I felt empty like those two seats were... Then at the second act you were there! Albert and you! Oh my God, how beautiful you were. So you were late! I had to know, I had to know that you would come. You wrote to me that you would come and you did... I acted only for you on the stage, my eyes could see only you.

When you came to my dressing room with Albert I was so jealous, he was holding you by your waist and you were both staying there without saying anything but smiling... There were a hundreds of thoughts in my mind that minute but Albert came to shake my hand, tell me how good I was and then he left saying he had things to do... I knew that he did that to leave us alone. Do you regret? Do you regret what happened after? I don't! Oh my God, how did I leave you after that night, how could I?

Do you remember what was your first line to me when Albert left? " I missed you"... I will never forget that, you didn't try to be polite, to congratulate me about the play or to say any meaningless greeting word... you just said that you missed me! and in that second you were in my arms! My love was in my arms... Maybe I had to take you for a walk or for dinner but I couldn't leave you from my arms, it felt so right, you and me... I won't say that I'm sorry for what happened later, the most beautiful hours of my life were when you were in my arms... As a gentleman, I shouldn't talk about that night, I shouldn't remind you all that... I know but what we lived was magical. You gave me the happiest time of my life.

But how stupid I can be? How could I leave you after that? How you convinced me that morning? You were crying on my shoulder and telling me that Susanna needed me more, that she was sick... That our love night should stay as our most wonderful memory, that it was something we had to do after all that feelings that we couldn't express to each other for years but that it shouldn't repeat again... And you managed to convince me one more time that the right thing to do was to go back to her! I never should've told you that she was sick... You were again selfless and I was again stupid! Why do I keep making the same mistake? I don't know how you do it but when you say something the only thing that I could do is obey...And now you can not even guess how much I regret coming back here...

After that night, nothing can be the same Candy! We can not be just friends, writing letters to each other! I will talk to Susanna, I will do my best to find the best doctors for her but then I'll come back to you.... Please wait for me, I'll come to take you with me Candy! I swear that even if it's the last thing that I do I'll take you with me!!! I'll be there....

I love you more than my own life, I love you so much that I even accepted to come back to this hell but I'll make life heaven for us. I'll come for you!

Terry...