Forget me never...

Letter 24

My dear Patty,

I thank you so much for the letter. I was very happy to have news from you. It has now been some years that I've been living in Pony House with my son, Anthony-William. So many things have happened. I will tell you in brief. I broke my promise to Susanna and saw Terry behind her back. Our passion was so strong that we couldn't resist... And I found myself in trouble and Terry returned to find Susanna who had taken to her bed during his absence. No need to tell you how guilty I felt. I couldn't tell him that I was expecting a child from him, because Susanna needed his presence. I know that the fact that I met him secretly probably had nothing to do with Susanna's state of health, but I do think that fate has punished us by making Susanna sick so that we would feel guilty for life! In brief, I married Albert not to sully the Ardley family name... He is a wonderful man. I would really have liked to love him with my heart. But he didn't take advantage. I told him I was ready to be his wife in all the senses of the term when he had been gone on a business trip for many months. He came back just in time for Anthony-William's birth. It was one of the best moments of my life. Giving birth to a child is a marvelous thing, Patty. The baby looks so much like Terry, except he is blond like me. I think that Albert hoped the child would look like me so that he could forget that Terry was his father. But the child resembles Terry except for his hair... Albert then thanked me for my offer and said that unfortunately, he couldn't be with a woman who was in love with another man and who had just had his child which was his father's portrait. He told me that we had to separate amiably and that he would always take care of us. He gives us an annuity, which I would refuse in ordinary times, but which helps me so much with the work I do at the orphanage. I organise charity galas, outings, excursions for the children. I also do it in Chicago, where I met a lot of people during my stay at the manor when I was Albert's wife. I didn't like the mundane life before so I was happy to find that rich people could really help those in need, some to look good, others for tax exemption. Then I started to enjoy the receptions where we would raise funds, organized lunches where people paid ridiculously high prices for a meal whose profits would go to the local orphanages. I also love taking care of the children in Pony House. For my nursing work, I work for Dr. Martin. This good doctor, an ex-alcoholic who had the kindness to hire me when the Reagan family had put me on the black list and when I couldn't find work elsewhere in Chicago. He opened a clinic here in the village with Albert's help. This clinic helps so many people that wouldn't have gone to a doctor in normal time, because it is a clinic that is accessible to all. Albert has asked that anybody would be cared for there. Because since Dr. Leonard has retired, people have to go to the next village to go and see a doctor and those who are too sick or too tired prefer remaining at home and waiting to see if they will get better by themselves. So the arrival of Dr. Martin and his clinic has changed many things for the best. To have a doctor ready to come to the orphanage is also wonderful.

Otherwise, my days are nice and wonderful, especially when I care for the children. These little angels bring the sunshine into my everyday life. Some are adopted and it breaks our hearts as well as it makes us glad. And new ones arrive in their shells of sorrow and we do everything so that they join us and continue to live. Everything is possible in life, I have overcome the pain of losing Terry all those years ago. Anthony-William's presence in my life has really made all the difference in the world.

I hope that you have succeeded in getting over your sadness and going on with your life without Alistair. He would have wanted you to be happy after him, my pretty. Annie and Archie are trying to play matchmakers with me, but I don't want to hear anything for the moment. My heart belongs to Terry who is married to another woman. I beg pardon everyday to God because I love someone else's husband. So I understand better than anyone how you feel, my dear.

I am waiting for your news.

With all my friendship,

Candy