The 80s

Guidance

Mother dearest

Let me inherit the earth

Teach me how to make him beg

Let me make up for the years he made you wait

Did he bend your reflection

Did he make you forget your own name

Did he convince you he was a God

Did he make you get on your knees daily

Do his eyes close like doors

Are you a slave to the back of his head

Am I talking about your husband or your father

"Hi mommy!" I hugged my mother before we took our seat. I decided to come down home and take my mother out lunch. I missed my mama, she's my best friend. She's probably the only one who really understands me.

"How ya' been." she smiled, placing her hand on top of mine.

"Good mommy good a lot of new things. A lot of changing." I sighed in relief. "A lot of growing up."

"That's good to see you taking control of your life." The waiter came over and she was a little jumpy. I get a lot of waiters like this.

"So what can I start you ladies off with?"

"Sweet tea" my mom said. I told her the same. "Are you ready to order?"

"Can you give us a few minutes." I told her and she bowed and left. What's with everyone bowing at me.

"What you 'bout to eat mama."

She shrugged looking over the menu. "I'm thinkin' some grilled chicken with sauted onions and mushrooms with a side of this wild rice they got and a caesar salad on the side."

"I'm thinkin' a black bean burger with a side of french fries ."

"Still a vegetarian huh? When are you ever gonna grow out of that and eat some real food." she chuckled. I lowered my menu a little and raised my brow at her.

"As soon as you grown out of being in an abusive relationship." She closed her menu and set it down.

"Jasmyn, I don't have time for this today."

I put my hand over my chest. "My my I almost forgot you gotta get back to the house to be cussed out again."

"Jasmyn!!"

"Well it's the truth isn't it."

"What I do with my life is none of your business and i'm still your mama neva' forget that." I rolled my eyes at her and huffed.

"Whatever mama." We sat in silence for a while until our drinks came. She wouldn't look at me when she gave the waiter her order. I got this bad feeling in my stomach, this always happened when we got into it like this.

"Mama i'm sorry." She smiled and raised her eyebrow.

"I know."  She knows me so well. I smiled little watching her take sips from her drink.

"Mama..." I started playing with my straw. "What do you think about relationships."

"They suck, no one needs 'em." She waved her hand dismissively "I say have friends but even keep them at a distance. No one needs to be too close to you. They get too close they can be in your personal space then can take your feelings and use 'em against you."