The 80s

MTV VMA 87'

"I'm gonna get you to the spot." a stage hand updated me as we were walking. I smoothed my hands on my dress trying to get the sweat off. I was caked in makeup, poked, prodded, and primped to look like I was experiencing an existential crisis. I had to introduce Prince's performance and I was NOT happy about it.

"You look beautiful tonight ma'am."

I gave a soft smile. "Thank you honey"

"You're supposed to return back to your seats after you present."

I nodded, trying to pay attention but these award shows are seriously overwhelming if you're not emotionally in the right state of mind.

"This way, this way." he frantically looked at his clipboard. I felt bad so I picked up my pace, but in my defense these heels are ridiculous, cute as hell, but ridiculous.

"OK, I'm gonna need everyone to clear out of this area." he announced. "I need everyone out of here."

"Good luck ma'am" he smiled at me, a genuine smile. Not the forced bullshit that usually occurs at these kinds of things. It warmed my heart a little bit, almost put a smile on my face. Alas it did not.

He walked away leaving me with my thoughts and a mic. I closed my eyes trying to summon some composure and hoping I don't catch his glance while I'm back here. I know he's close and I feel like vomiting. I just wanna go home and loathe myself in peace.

"Hey"

I jolted, clutching my chest at the sight of Michael materializing out of fucking no where.

"Dude what the fuck are you even doing back here?" I whispered harshly, trying not to cause a scene.

He pushed a curl out my face and tucked it behind my ear. "Love the hair. You won't answer my calls"

"Because I don't wanna talk about it"

"Excuse me!? What do you mean-Arms up- I don't wanna talk about it."

I cut my eyes at him, holding up my arms as he adjusted my dress for me. "You're not serious"

"I'm just saying that you can't do things like that and expect me not to worry about you."

I rolled my eyes. "It's nothing to worry about Michael"

"Do you know the severity of unhappiness you have to be to want to end your life Jasmyn, for the love of God please talk to me. I know you more than anybody, probably more than yourself-"

"First of all Michael, fuck you." I scoffed. "Two, I don't wanna talk about this, I just wanna get this over with and go home."

"And do what? You know how worried I am when you're out of my sight."

I sighed. I actually did feel bad because he's just trying to be there for me but I don't want it.

I turned away from him and face the edge of the stage. "Drop it, I'm not 12. Leave me alone."

"But Jasmyn-"

"I said Drop it!"

"And to bring out the next performer, we have a lovely little lady... Ms. Jasmyn!" I forced a convincing smile on my face and walked as elegantly is my stubby little legs would allow me to the podium. Looking out into the overly pretentious crowd, I blew a few kisses and gave some innocent looks as the clapping died down.