The 80s

Love Drought

I yawned once again for the 8th time in the past 10 minutes. I just came in from Zurich, Switzerland. I had to do an interview plus perform on some late night talk show, then we had an afterparty so I got in about 2:30 in the morning. I went to bed at about three, my wake up call was at 4 to fly on the Concord back here to L.A. so I could shoot my new video for my new single.

I am constantly being tested.

Do you really wanna be a superstar?
Do you reeealy think your hot?

Never have I done 3 shoots for a music video but the song Can't Let Go is so deep in meaning I didn't quite know how to capture it. I was in such a mentally fucked up place when I recorded it. So this time I decided to just let the song speak for itself and go simple. Black and white, no crazy outfits, makeup, interpretive dancers, nothing. I'm just gonna go simple, and people will take what they will from it.

Whenever I get the chance I'm gonna take a nap, but until then I have a lot of work to do. I was going to wait until Prince got home before I went to sleep anyway. He's flying in from a show in Europe. He performed with the Bangles tonight or atleast I think he said them. I'll be the first to admit I wasn't really paying attention.

"So I'll see you tomorrow morning wait..." I heard a bunch of shuffling on Hannah's line. "Ok...sorry I had to pull out my schedule. The shoot shouldn't take that long, maybe 18 hours max, but just in case I say we start at 8 but you need to be on set and in the chair at 7:00 sharp."

I scribbled that on a post-it and stuck it to the mirror. "Got it."

"Alright see you tomorrow girl."

"Peace." I hung up and sighed.

"I got that done finally." I stretched my arms back and yawned, I looked around the room, just admiring Prince's decor choice. We've actually been living together for quite sometime now. I still stay at my place respectively but I spend most of my time with him. He says I help him sleep, which I don't fully understand because he barely sleeps in the first place. I rolled my eyes at myself. I don't even know why I try to figure him out.

Looking past the pastel pillow, the heart shaped mirror above the bed, the white silk sheets, which was kind of an extension of his personality. My eyes caught the folder Angela gave me, poking out my bag. I'm sure now is a good a time as any I guess to go through it. I dug through my bag and pulled out the tape. I stared at it for a minute before popped it in the VCR. I sat on the edge of the bed, pulling my knees to my chest.

"Here goes nothing..." I clicked play and a white man with glasses and an awful tan suit popped up. I cringed at the sight of it. I blame Prince for this. I'm so judgmental of men's clothing now. He's practically spoiled me with his fine ass.

I can be smooth and charming and slick. I can make a very confident impression and it is hard to leave me at a loss for words. Sometimes I find myself fantasizing about unlimited success and power, and beauty.

I smiled a little, the guy was animated. I lowkey had a thing for nerdy guys. Plus he had little animations popping up around him, it was like watching a Saturday morning cartoon.

I have repeatedly used deceit to cheat, con, or defraud others for my personal gain. To be honest, I don't have much concern for the feelings of other people, or their suffering.

Doesn't sound like the Hank you know, does it? These are all statements from the Self-Assessment measure for Personality Disorders, that lets patients describe themselves, ranking each statement in terms of how accurate they think it is.